Things were different after that day in the showers. For starters, Jacob never did bother to get the new swimsuit, figuring that everyone had already seen him in it. A few people made some hoots and hollers, but he ignored them. He was the fastest swimmer in the pool, and that was enough for him. He even was getting cocky about it. After that the teasing stopped. He noticed that some of the girls started being friendly with him again. Holly Morgan, in particular, was suddenly very chatty with him. He didn't blush; he just smiled.
With Ms. Bandy, it was more complicated. At first, he couldn't look her in the eye; but after a week of winning all the swimming events, and a week of her lavishing him with praise, he was able to relax around her. She had done something unimaginable to him, he knew; but for some reason, he wasn't angry, not any more. He thought about what she had said, and it made a lot of sense. He had lusted after her; he had violated her with his eyes. It was only fair that she do the same to him. It was weird; it was inappropriate; heck, it was probably illegal. But he understood what she was trying to do. She was a good person, and a good teacher. She was helping him be a better man.
Several weeks went by. Jacob was excelling in his basketball club, and the coach was inviting scouts to watch. The high school season would be starting soon, and he felt that he was in top form, the best shape of his life. His grades were stellar; he had even managed to get his history grade up to an A. Jacob prayed that morning for humility, but he was feeling proud of himself. Everything was going well.
Things were even progressing with Holly Morgan. He started giving her rides to TeenLife, and they got along. She was a practicing Methodist as well, a truly good person who volunteered every day at an old person's home as well as the church group. Holly was a bright, lively girl, with white-blond hair and a pretty smile. She was a tennis player and also a D-I prospect, and she had a golden tan, sturdy legs, and braces, which he thought was cute. Her parents even invited him and his parents over one night for pizza.
Having a steady girlfriend was something he had always wanted; however rules were rules, and neither of them was allowed to date. Their interactions were innocent and stunted. Light arm touches, masquerading as punches or nudges, or awkwardly long handshakes following unnecessary high-fives were normally the extent of their physical contact. He longed to embrace her, to run his hands over her legs, up her shirt and down the back her boy shorts . . .
Stop, he told himself, whenever thoughts like these bubbled up. There would be time enough for all that, as his father would say. But thoughts like these were a common occurrence, especially since the shower episode. Never in his life had he dreamed of such a nightmarish scenario of humiliation and degradation; yet in its aftermath, he looked upon it as the clearest and most seductive memory of his life. It was . . . erotic. That was a word he never had really understood before. It was sinful, yes; it had been an aggressive violation of his rights as a student, as a Christian young man, and as a human being. But it may have been the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Masturbation too was a sin; had he not committed it freely? And had it not been wonderful? His world was in chaos, and he no longer knew exactly what he wanted, what he needed. He knew what his parents said, what his uncle and aunt would say, what his whole community thought and reinforced upon them every week. He repeated the whole incident in his mind, again and again, trying to mark every last detail. Where she had touched him, how she had spoken, how her skin shimmered and her eyes gleamed, how it felt to let go of all he held in.
"Jake? Did you hear me?" Holly asked.
"Hm? What? Sorry, no," he got out sheepishly. "I was looking at something out the window."
"Dork," she slapped his arm with the back of her hand. "Do you wanna come with me to the mall after school or not? I need the wheels!" she joked.
"I guess, if I have to," he grinned. She blinked, smiled, and looked down momentarily, before lifting her eyes up to his. "High-five," she said, and they touched palms, then grasped, swaying their arms back and forth together. They had walked to class together, the last few minutes spent joking, laughing, teasing each other. Such a great girl, Jake thought. She's exactly what I always wanted. At this, he felt a pang of something in his gut, not quite guilt and not quite regret. He wasn't sure why this was.
"No flirting in class!" a voice blurt out. Ms. Bandy - beautiful, innocently coquettish, white teeth exposed - strode into the gym. The rest of the class hooted and whistled. She winked at Jake, who bristled. "Alright, y'all! In honor of the season starting next week, we're gonna play some 2-on-2 basketball today! Let me go lower the baskets. Crowley, Simmons, go grab the basketball cage in the storage room and wheel it out here! Russo, get everyone warmed up with some calisthenics!"
Jake's breath began to speed up. Ever since the shower, his demeanor instantly changed whenever Ms. Bandy was near, which was every school day morning. She, on the other hand, acted as if nothing at all had transpired. She treated him the same as everyone else, and she was unceasingly upbeat and encouraging. It made him feel insane - he wasn't sure if he was a neurotic child or if she were an evil sociopath. But he also felt magnetically drawn to her, as if they shared a mysterious connection that he couldn't explain. Even without special treatment during class, he thought he could feel her watching him as he did his exercises, just as he watched her doing hers. As she jogged in place, he imagined her in her one-piece bathing suit, then slowly stepping out of it; in his mind's eye he could see the water beading on her naked breasts, rivulets running down her chest and stomach, between her legs and the mysteries that were there. He was delirious in her presence, obsessed, her essence intoxicating him past all reason. During the rest of the day, Holly distracted him with her sweet demeanor; but in morning practice she was invisible to him, even as she and her ample bosom bounced at his side.
Ms. Bandy assigned two-person teams, one male and one female. Holly and he were made teammates; Holly gave him another high-five. Ms. Bandy then assigned match-ups, with each team playing on the short courts made by the practice hoops lowered along the width of the normal court.
"Last group: Morgan and Packert, Court Four! Against Wilson and Bandy!" Bandy? wondered Jake. Holly asked before he could: "We're playing against you?"
"We got an odd number today - I'm filling in!" she informed them. Her teammate, Will Wilson, was Jacob's teammate as well, on the varsity squad. Will was one of the best players on the team, possibly the best. She's doing this on purpose, he knew. This is one of her sick head games; but it won't matter . . . I'm better, he thought. I will beat her again.
"Since I'm the teacher, I say we bring the ball out first," she laughed, as Holly mock-protested and Will applauded. Jake remained emotionless. He wasn't going to give her any satisfaction. He was just going to whip the heck out of them. She took off her sweatshirt, revealing a sleeveless white tank top; she then pulled off her sweatpants, wearing navy blue gym shorts that ended above the knee, exposing her smooth, well-built legs he thought about so often. He gulped. "Let's go!"
Holly checked the ball to Ms. Bandy, while Will floated just outside the paint. Bandy crossed over the dribble, tripping up Holly, and blew by her for an easy layup. "One up," she said, and went back to the top of the key.
Shoot, he thought. He remembered that she used to play point guard in high school — her team went to the state championships. She was going to destroy Holly. The next possession he let her try to drive; he waited till the last second and stepped into a double team, easily swatting away her shot, chasing it down, and taking it out to reset possession. Bandy just smiled at him and stood behind Holly.
"You gonna bring that shit to me, Pack?" Wilson said as he picked him up. Wilson had an inch on him, and he was playing him loose, daring him to take a shot. He did. One-one. Next possession, Wilson stepped up, closing the space. Jake dribbled, back toward Will, looking for an open teammate. But Holly couldn't shake Ms. Bandy. He realized she didn't know how, and she didn't know how to set a pick. He lost sight of them as he decided to make a push toward the basket. Suddenly, he felt the ball stripped away from him. Ms. Bandy had come from his blind side, and she had a free lane to the basket as Wilson blocked his path.
"Two-one, us!" She winked at him again. His obsession had soured to rage. He wanted to take her by the shoulders in front of everyone and shake the smile off her face. He wanted to pull her pants down and spank her over his knee, as she cried out in pain and in shame.
The game was very tight - they went back and forth, tying up five times on their way to eleven points, which meant the game. It was now tied at ten all, after he ably threw the ball to a wide-open Holly in motion, who was able to make the short bucket. He ran to the top of the key. "I got it," he waved to Holly, who passed it to him.
"Switch man!" yelled out Ms. Bandy. Wilson hung back; Ms. Bandy stepped up to him. "Let's go, Packert! Let's see whatcha got."
