My phone rang with what I recognized as Dr. McGinnis' number. The same Dr. McGinnis whose assistant (and daughter, as it turned out) couldn't seem to leave my foreskin alone. Especially when she thought she had half a chance at slicing it off of me.
Over several months, I'd gotten used to Liz's efforts. The threat seemed worthwhile to endure, as it usually came with an masterfully extracted ejaculation, sometimes two. But what I didn't expect this time was a phone call directly from Liz. She typically waited for me to approach her mother's office before making a move.
"Hey, I don't know if you knew this, but my mom is an adjunct professor at the medical school," Liz announced, in her usual, cheery voice, "and she's kind of a 'penis guru' they bring every so often to show the students around male genitals. Anyway, she remembers your foreskin, and wants to know if you'd be willing to serve as an anatomical model on Circumcision Day."
"I don't want a circumcision, Liz."
"You don't have to get one, not this time anyway. We just need you to lie still while the medical students examine your uncircumcised penis. It pays $75 and I'll buy you lunch."
"Will you be present for this examination?"
Silence, then I recognized the sound of Liz inhaling through pursed lips.
"Wouldn't miss it for anything."
I arranged the day off from work, and met Liz at the hospital cafeteria, across from the medical school.
We took our seats amid the bustle of dozens of doctors, nurses, medical students, and staff in their white lab coats and scrubs. I noticed Liz had chosen a burrito for lunch, which she ate with a fork and knife, looking up at me intently before slicing off another bite. I took her hint.
"So, Liz, how did you get to be so enthused about circumcision?"
She chewed slowly, as if reminiscing.
"Mom always talked about her work at home," she said. "Dad seemed uncomfortable about it, but eventually he learned to join in with a question or comment. He didn't seem engaged, though. I, on the other hand, would press her for details."
"Like what?"
"Like, she told me about testicular cancer, and how the only remedy was to cut the testicle off," Liz said, popping a grape into her mouth. "She said the men always had trouble coming to terms with that until she told them if they delayed, they might lose both testicles and their penis. Then they'd listen to her.
"Later, when I started grade school and ran up against my first playground bully, I threatened to cut his testicles off myself. That got me in a little trouble with the teacher."
"Did the bully back down?"
"Kind of, indirectly. Over the next few weeks, I'd take random opportunities to make eye contact with him, then do this," she made a scissor motion with her fingers, "and he'd get all bug-eyed, then look away."
"And ever since..."
"Yeah. I get off threatening guys' genitals," she shrugged. "Guess we each have our thing, right?"
"I suppose. Have you ever carried out one of your threats?"
Liz smiled coyly and took a swig of her tea.
"You could say, indirectly," she said. "You should know here's another component to your visit today besides the modeling."
"Oh?"
"I'll show you. Done?"
We bussed our table, set the trays on a counter, and left the cafeteria.
Liz led me down a hall, through a door, and into a small room with a full-sized glass wall. Through the glass, we could observe a class in progress.
At the head of the room stood Dr. McGinnis, using a laser pointer on a wall-sized illustration of an intact penis.
"... the inner lining of the foreskin, which is membrane, not skin."
As she continued pointing to details on the graphic, about a dozen students took notes on paper or touch-screen tablets. The mix was roughly 50-50 male/female. Liz leaned over and whispered.
"They can't see us in here. It's a one-way mirror. I don't think they can hear us, either."
We took seats facing the glass. Then she laid her hand on my sweatpants and gently separated my penis from my scrotum, where it had been resting.
"The foreskin got a reputation during World War II, when U.S. military doctors noticed their Jewish recruits were a lot less likely to show up with syphilis and gonorrhea. Unfortunately, no effort was made to test this thesis by controlling for the number of sexual partners or for contact with prostitutes," Dr. McGinnis sighed slightly. "And when they returned to civilian practice, these doctors assumed they could reduce the prevalence of STIs by eliminating foreskins. Thus, the wholesale circumcision of infant boys began."
Liz slid her hand under my waistband, navigated to my penis, and squeezed the growing bulb of my glans through the foreskin. She rode her fingers over the corona repeatedly, milking my penis until it filled to erection.
"The practice peaked in the 1960s," Dr. McGinnis continued, "with 85-90 percent of newborn American boys undergoing circumcision. This continued despite no clinical evidence of any effect on STI transmission.
"In the meantime, our European counterparts circumcised virtually none of their boys. Their STI prevalence is virtually the same as ours, including HIV. So there's been a lot of surgery undertaken with no measurable benefit, let alone diagnoses."
Students began to interrupt her with questions.
"Doctor, what about cleanliness? Doesn't a foreskin produce smegma?"
"Smegma accumulates in the genital mucous membranes of males and females, and it's a beneficial substance, with antibacterial and antiviral properties. It's water-soluble, so it rinses away easily," she paused, then addressed the group. "Do you know any men or women from Europe or Latin America?"
About a third of the students raised their hands.
"Ever heard them talk about smegma?"
