Chapter 4
Xorath
I woke up in my sleep every night for the next ten nights. Vurlixans didn't dream. They slept half a brain at a time, and at most they drifted into a state of half woken visualizations of their surroundings. The human splice of my DNA meant that I, on the other hand, dreamed a lot when I was a child. Eventually, it stopped, and sometimes I even forgot that I had ever done that. After the breeding, it began anew. I dreamed of Isadora--of arguments, of something being wrong with her, of her miscarrying. Each dream was irrational, yet painful enough to linger in my mind when I woke. It told me how unstable I really was. I'd wake up and check on her through the visual feed. I'd see her cat's eyes glowing in the dark, and she would be asleep, alone, or sometimes in Lyxom's embrace. Once I caught her awake, writing on her table, surrounded by some open books.
The 'C' class volunteer instructed me that it would take ten days for a reliable pregnancy test. Even then, for the first three months, many things could go wrong. It didn't mean something was off with the parts involved. It just happened. How was I to accept that there was simply nothing else I could do, just wait? It was just not in my nature.
With stimulants and work, I pushed through until a Fateweaver intercepted me. My vitals were off their normal, and had been for a few days. I said I was fine, however he ordered me to take a day off to rest.
I took injections of antihistamines and slept for more hours than I should. I woke up and I felt horrible. My mind raced with irrational voices. I meditated then, viewing all the possible futures ahead of me, and I made myself acknowledge and accept them all, knowing I would adapt as I always had. If it was something within my control, I would find a way to make it work. But this was beyond the power of any person and beyond even the capabilities of our best tech. A reality I rarely faced.
Lyxom left for the front again soon after, and I was alone with my anxiety. One day, at three in the morning, unable to sleep, I stepped out of my quarters to find something to eat. The corridors were silent, the hum of the compound's systems being only sound. As I moved down the hallway, I heard a faint noise behind me. I turned, and there she was -- Isadora, stepping out of her room. For a moment, neither of us spoke, the weight of our unspoken thoughts filling the space between us.
"Yeah, I can't sleep either," she said. There was something in her I recognized, because I felt the same. It was the ache of craving a distraction that just eluded you no matter what you tried. The dread of waiting. The itch that couldn't be scratched.
I held her neck and pressed against the wall. I fumbled disastrously to type the security lock password to remove our helmets, and then I finally crushed her mouth with mine.
She was wearing only a loose dress as pyjamas, no underwear beneath, and I went mad when I felt her slit wet in my fingers. I had her right there, first, against the wall. Then we stumbled inside my room, and I sat on the bed and had her in my lap, like the first time, helping her go up and down, watching her entrance gaped by my girth. Her brown skin against my gray, and her pink interior leaking my blue. I had a bad obsession for her. It wasn't just because of her tight warmth, but because she was the one who took my seed in her fertile womb.
Her interior squeezed me with the orgasm. I pulled her back and hugged her, kissing her shoulders as she danced through the wave of pleasure, riding my organ. For the time in days, anxiety left me.
I held her. She wasn't going anywhere. She was mine. Mine to hold, to breed, to fuck, to own. I wanted to brand my name on her, I wanted to tie her in my room so she was always available for me. I wanted to know how many breaths she took a day, and how fast her heart beat, how many meals she had, and how many hours of sleep. I wanted to watch her vitals change under my presence, and see her lose her sleep over how much she thought of me, be it by fear or desire. And I wanted her there, in my compound, where I could see her every movement. If I could turn her into an obedient drone, I would. But that option removed, I was glad to have her in all those other ways.
"Tired enough now?" I asked. She agreed, breathless, drying her sweat on her hand. I pulled her beneath the covers with me, and feeling her presence, I was able to fall asleep in minutes.
I felt her get up a few hours later, but I held her tighter.
"I have work", she said, a sleepy giggle escaping her. "And I have to go to the gym."
"Your Sovereign is excusing you from work today." I mumbled, kissing her nape.
"Don't
you
have work to do, Sovereign?"
"Fateweaver told me to rest," I replied, my voice low as my hands trailed over her waist.
"And since when do you actually rest?" she mocked, a hint of mischief in her voice as she tilted her head to glance back at me.
"You are right," I admitted, leaning closer so my lips brushed her ear. "I didn't see the point of idleness, but with you here, I've changed my mind."
She laughed softly. "Oh my god. Xorath skipping work to fuck. Wow. I didn't realize my pussy was
that
good!"
"Is that the word for it?" I asked, feigning curiosity as my hand slid over her hip.
"The technical word is vulva, for the overall region, or vagina for the actual hole, but people call it pussy. I don't know why. Actually, we have a hundred names for penises and vaginas."
"I see." I grinned, enjoying the way her body responded as I pulled her waist back so her ass pressed against me. She let out a soft, delicious sound that made my pulse quicken. "And yes, I am skipping work to fuck you."
I expected her to coil away, but instead she opened her legs, offering herself for me. The hand on her waist, she pulled up to her breast. I grabbed her with all my hunger, caressed her nipple and enjoyed how that made her tremble, and the way her flesh gave in when I pressed.
She turned and sat over me. I suppressed the instinct to counterattack, and I discovered the joy of having a warm
pussy
pressing down my erection. I gritted my teeth, clawed at her thighs.
"I haven't been this horny in forever," she groaned. "This hormonal therapy will drive me crazy." She rocked her hips, already slippery wet.
"I'll gladly help you deal with your desire. Can you find your peak like this?"
"I think I can."
"Do it."
She didn't manage to, but she tried her best, which was wonderful to watch. She only got to come when I took charge, and she could cling to me while I was fucking her.
After, she got up to use the toilet, and came back with her face washed. I just patted the bed at my side, but she didn't come. Awake, back to her senses, she remembered her apprehension. Her eyes studied me.
"Ask what you want to ask," I said.
"Something changed. You are even looking at me differently. I want to know what it was."
I scoffed, sitting up.
"Of course it changed. Two weeks ago you were my main source of stress, now you aren't."
"So I'm worthy of your gentleness because I did what you wanted?"
"I don't understand why you are so offended by it."
She started speaking in a fast stream, and at that time, just after an orgasm, my mind was not at its sharpest. I went after the helmets we had left behind, and, the moment mine was over my head, the gentle stream of information and the damped sounds made me feel less sleepy.
"Now, why would I be nice to someone who's insubordinate?"
"Xorath, you weren't just 'not nice', you were monstrous."
"That's not true. That would require me doing a lot worse."
"You raped me more than once. You tried to brainwash me. You messed with doctor Monique."
"Reprogramming is just protocol. The sex was unorthodox, but so was everything about having an 'S' tier around. Both of those were nothing more than my duty to put my claim on you."
"I don't care what you think is normal or not. You need to understand that you almost drove me mad."
Her anger flared. She was still naked, in my bed, which gave me a lot more disposition to listen to her babble.
"I understand. I took notice. I will take that into consideration in the future. But you must not force my hand again."
"I was trying to survive, you know."
"You do not have military training, of course, so you don't understand. Listen, then, and learn. I'm the Auric Sovereign. I'm always considering how my actions and the actions of others around me will affect our objectives. The Nexus gave me very simple tools to deal with those who defy me and threaten my structure. Some of those I even helped develop. I will not hesitate to use them. If you don't want to have to go through this, don't challenge me. Your way of speaking is entirely disrespectful, your first instinct is to doubt and defy, and your idea of defiance is self-destructive. Putting you or anyone else through a few reprogramming routines for that is hardly cruel."
She stood a second, watching me, eyes wide open.
"Oh my God, you are completely... How can you be the one in charge of us humans? You have no training for this, no empathy. You are like that saying -- to a hammer, everything's a nail to be struck down."
I felt so offended, my words failed me for a second.
"I'm not a hammer."
"You are! You just have no idea."
She tried to walk out on me and left an exasperated sound when the door didn't open until she put her helmet on. The meaning of that last part of the conversation eluded me completely. I realized I needed better data.
***
Lyxom
My Ironclad and I returned to base after a long deployment, battered and tired, but successful. The losses were kept to a minimum, and no injuries were beyond what the Fateweavers could fix. We'd dismantled the militia's main operations across five states, captured their agents, and sent them off for reprogramming. Xorath would likely assign them to one of the food factories -- a place where they could work without posing a threat to critical systems. For now, my front was secure.