My roommate Helena and I were bored. Summers were long in Indiana with nothing to do but hang out at the state fair or catch a bunch of car racing wannabes hanging out at the dirt track trying to prove their superiority before going and getting wasted at the local watering hole and trying to take home anything with tits.
We were both in our junior year at the state university and even though we both held part time waitressing jobs (me at one of the above mentioned watering holes), there was way too much free time and way too little entertainment. Helena was studying Chemistry and sometimes played around with various concoctions in our apartment. She had yet to burn the place down, but I was sure it was only a matter of time. I made an almost daily habit of checking the batteries in both our smoke alarm and carbon monoxide detector.
Helena would always tease me for being such a worrier. One afternoon as I was once again hitting the "test" button on the alarms, she cried out, "For Christ's sake, Amy! You're going to go gray before you're 25 worrying about every little thing!"
I just stuck my tongue out at her and flopped down on a chair. "I'm so bored!" I moaned.
"I know," Helena sympathized. "And we still have a month before classes start up again."
"Not to mention, I haven't had a good fuck ever since all the frat boys went home for the summer," I lamented.
"I hear ya," remarked Helena. "Not that frat boys are that great at fucking, but a good, stiff cock is better than a battery powered substitution!" We both laughed hysterically at that. Despite our banter, Helena and I were picky about our hook ups. We only averaged about 3 or 4 a year and those were carefully selected.
We had been roommates for years, so we were well acquainted with each other's sexual appetites. We frequently went sex toy shopping together, enjoying the looks from the store clerks who must have wondered if we were lesbians. Helena and I were definitely not lesbians. Not even the lack of male sexual partners would make either of us resort to that. We were just really good roommates; the kind that know when to conveniently vacate the apartment when the other one has a date.
We had been roommates for years, so we were well acquainted with each other's sexual appetites. We frequently went sex toy shopping together, enjoying the looks from the store clerks who must have wondered if we were lesbians. Helena and I were definitely not lesbians. Not even the lack of male sexual partners would make either of us resort to that. We were just really good roommates; the kind that know when to conveniently vacate the apartment when the other one has a date.
"I'm going out to check the mail," declared Helena. "Maybe one of our favorite toy companies sent us a catalog or something. Or maybe there's a Nike catalog with pictures of hot, sweaty men that I can use as my fantasy material." I rolled my eyes and flipped on the TV as she shut the front door behind her.
Not more than twenty seconds later, the door flew open and Helena bust in, her eyes wide. "Amy! Guess what?"
"There's a tornado coming?" I replied sarcastically. "That would liven things up around here."
"No...even better. There are Mormons coming. Two of them are headed right this way. I bet they'll be knocking on our door any minute."
I looked at her for a second and then said, "Well don't just stand there. Shut the door and turn off the lights! Then we can just ignore them when they knock and they'll go away!"
"No way!" exclaimed Helena! "We're inviting them in!"
"Are you NUTS?" I practically yelled. "I may be bored but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here and listen to some whack jobs preach to me. I'd rather be doing ANYTHING else."
Helena just laughed. "You only say that because you haven't seen these guys. They're seriously the hottest Mormons I've ever seen. And I bet they're all sweaty and thirsty underneath those long sleeved white shirts and ties." Her eyes were twinkling with mischief.
"Helena, you can't seduce Mormons. They're like priests or something. They can't have sex until they're married. Now, please don't waste my time with this!" Helena ignored me and ran to her room, presumably to brush her hair and spritz on some perfume.
A minute later, the anticipated knock at the door came. Helena was still in her room, so I hoped she hadn't heard it. I sat quietly, planning to ignore them until they went away. "Just a minute...we're coming!" yelled Helena from the kitchen just behind me. Damn her! They had to have heard that.
I turned around and glared at her, but she just yelled to me, loudly enough for anyone in the hallway to hear, "Oh Amy! Could you see who's at the door, please?"
Begrudgingly, I opened the door to two men in the Mormon uniform of white shirts and dark ties and dark pants. My first impression was that Helena had been correct. Both men were very attractive. Still, I tried not to act as annoyed as I was when they asked if they could come in for a few minutes and introduce themselves and their church.
I moved aside to let them in as Helena rushed from the kitchen and greeted them enthusiastically. "Hi there! I'm Helena and this is my roommate, Amy!"
I shook their hands that were offered to me as the taller one spoke. "I'm Elder Gregg Jones and this is my friend Elder Bruce Conner."