The Last Laugh

The following is based on a true story.

My sister Janet is five years my senior. The differences between us are striking. Janet, a conservative brunette was blessed with dark, beautiful Cosmo-type facial features and a delicate frame. I, on the other hand, am ashblond with a ruddy complexion and a rather liberal personality. Regarding our difference in figures, let’s just say the “boob train” didn’t stop for Janet, but I rode it way too long. She’s an a-cup at best, while I have to tote around two, big d-cup melons. We both have wide, child-bearing hips and thighs that constantly need work.

Janet married right out of college and was content to live the sedate life, raising kids and paying off the mortgage. The last thing on my wandering brain was to settle down after school. I moved to a big city, burned my bra, wore short-shorts, mini-skirts and tie-died t-shirts. While Janet was busy birthing and raising two kids, I was on-the-pill and “practicing” pre-marital sex. I did my fair share of “practicing”, in those days! We kind of lost track of each other during that crazy decade of the 70’s, until I started hearing my biological clock alarm go off. At twenty-five, I opted for marriage to Donny. My new husband and I moved back to smalltown to start our own family. Janet and I renewed our relationship and became best buddies again.

Her twenty-five year old marriage ended in a fiery divorce. After the typical grieving and blaming periods, she went through a wonderful era of self-examination and personal growth. She lost a ton of weight, got a good job and became self-reliant. She became quite a desirable package and men came calling with greater frequency.

One of her suitors, named Cal, had more impact on her than the others. Long, lanky Cal was 4 or 5 years older, divorced and a charming guy to be around. Cal was entertaining, but suffered from an incurable case of self-infatuation. Since his divorce, he fashioned himself as a lady’s man. Janet somehow managed to find fictitious womanizing an enduring quality, while casual observers warned her of the consequences.

After a time, Janet moved in with Cal and their relationship blossomed. It was a Monday night when I got an unexpected call from her.

“Hi Sis –we need to talk,” she started, with words no one ever wants to hear.

“What’s up Janet?”

“It’s Cal. He’s starting to talk about commitment and making plans for the future. I think he’s getting serious,” she stated.

“So? Is that a problem? Sounds like a natural progression for you two?” I asked.

“Oh, I really care about him, and have considered taking things to the next level, but…” she paused.

“But what?”

“Well, our mutual friends tell me he still fools around with other women. I know it’s “old-school” of me, but I couldn’t bear knowing he was hitting on other women!”

“I agree. That would probably piss me off too! Do you have any REAL evidence that he’s actually screwing around?” I asked.

“No, that’s the problem! He denies it, and our friends never give me anything to go on but hear-say”, she said, frustrated.

“Hum, sounds like you need to catch him in the act, to know for sure,” I concluded.

“I know, she continued, That’s kind of why I called, to ask you a personal favor.” She admitted.

“Sure Janet, anything I can do to help. What do you need?”

“I’m probably nuts, thinking you’d even do this for me?” She begged.

“Come on now, what’s a sister for? Just say it,” I said smiling.

“OK then… would you hit on him for me?” She asked shyly.

“You mean, like flirt with him and stuff, just to see if he’d make a pass at me?” I suggested.

“YEAH, exactly!” She sounded relieved.

“Sure, I can do that for you, if you want. I suppose it’s the only way you can find out for sure, right?”

“Oh that would be great! Why don’t you and Donny drop by for drinks and dinner on Friday, and we’ll take it from there?” She invited happily.

“I’ll have to tell Donny about our plan, though. Knowing him, he’ll say it’s OK, as long as he can watch!” I laughed.

The rest of our conversation consisted of the particulars: what I was to wear, how to act, what to say –everything was discussed, except how far I was to let Cal go, if/when he came on to me. The week flew by at a furious pace, and Friday night found Donny and I at our regular watering hole. We had both downed a Martini, when it dawned on me that I hadn’t told him about Janet’s plan.

“Shit we’re supposed to be at Janet and Cal’s place right now for dinner!” I suddenly recalled.

“What’s that all about?” Asked Donny.

I explained Janet’s scheme to him and the reasons for it. Donny’s reaction was the one I expected.

“That sounds like a hoot! I’ll have to get a front row seat for THAT!” He chuckled, and ordered us another round of Martinis. [side note: I’m a one-Martini girl; anymore than one and you might as well call the men in the little white jackets.] I convinced Donny to let us stop by our place so I could change from my work clothes. I crammed my wide hips into some cutoff jeans and a rather provocative cotton blouse, that Janet said should have the desired affect on Cal. Stumbling up the steps to Cal’s front porch, I rang the bell.

“Well, it’s about time. We thought you two were a no-show!” Exclaimed Cal, giving my outfit the once-over.

“Sorry to be so late. Something came up, and well you know,” I answered, sloughing off for lack of a decent excuse.

I took Janet aside and made sure her plan of deception was still a “go”. She smiled, nodded and unbuttoned another button on my blouse. I discovered soon enough that my lace pushup bra and half-opened blouse gave a great view of my full cleavage line, if I turned a certain direction. This fact coupled with my inebriation would make for excellent flirting. Cal had mixed a batch of Margarita’s. We both filled our glasses and met up with the guys in the front room. Donny and Cal were discussing some inane football bullshit, when I edged myself between them.

“So Cal, Janet tells me you guys have a new hot tub? Maybe after dinner, you can give us the 50-cent tour?” I asked, batting my eyes and brushing my tit against his hairy arm.

“Sure Barb, but why wait until dinner? I can show you now, if you like?” He offered, with eyes shooting like lasers down my open blouse.

He took hold of my hand and led me to the deck door. I glanced back at my smiling husband and sister, and knew my advances must be working. Upon slamming the deck door behind us, the overhead light gave out. This left the two of us in virtual darkness.

“Dam light bulb, I’ll have to fix that,” stated Cal, still intent on showing me the hot tub.

“Cal, I can’t see anything! It’s pitch black out here!” I said, stumbling into his back.

“Don’t worry, your eyes will get used to that. The hot tub is just around the side of the house,” he said, pulling me along behind.

I felt the house’s edge as we turned a corner, and heard bubbling sounds coming from the tub. After a few more paces we stopped and I could barely see a neighbor’s light glowing in the distance through the rising fog from the tub.

“As you can see Barb, it’s a rather small hot tub, but it takes up most of the deck.”

“Hey, I still can’t see a dam thing?” I restated, and got a whiff of chlorine.

“OK, let me get passed you and I’ll turn on a light,” said Cal, releasing my hand.

There wasn’t more than two feet between the house and the tub, which meant I had to put my back against the wall to let him pass. Sliding past me, his lower chest smashed into my big boobs.

“Now that’s a problem I’ve never had with your sister!” He laughed and pulled slowly away from me.

I returned a nervous chuckle and listened to his fading footsteps on the deck. God, what an creep he is! I hope I don’t have too many more close brushes from this asshole. Standing there in the cold night air, with my drink, I could start to see the entire outline of the small, two-person hot tub. A newly lit room behind me cast just enough light onto the deck to see a dark form approaching.

“Barb! You still there? I can’t quite make you out!” He yelled, and I felt his hand on my tit.

Letting out a short gasp, I instinctively brought my free hand up to move his hand. I was too late, he had already inserted his long, bony fingers past my blouse and inside my bra.

“I think you’re making out just fine –why don’t you fondle the other onewhile you’re at it?” I said, in a pissed off voice.

There was no denying it now, the asshole was making a play for me. My foggy brain searched for a way to tell Janet that her man truly was a womanizer, as his hand shifted to my other tit and toyed with my hard nipple.

“Stop that now Cal. What would Janet say?” I asked, trying to be diplomatic.

He wouldn’t stop, and edged his long leg between my legs to nudge my crotch. Figuring my best defense was an appropriate offense, I reached down and put a death-grip around his package. Any other man would have screamed in pain. He just sighed.

“Come on now Cal. Let’s just forget this ever happened, OK?” I demanded nervously, and tighten my vise-grip on his privates to make my point.

“You want it Baby, don’t you? Why don’t you take it out and…” he started, and I felt his long cock begin to harden in my grasp.

“OK Buddy. I think you need to cool off!” I yelled, and dumped my drink in his crotch.

That cold jolt made him finally break his grip on my chest. I pulled my body away from him and bolted for the door. In the process, he tore my blouse completely open, busting the remaining buttons. Reaching for the door, I heard the sound of laughter coming from the other side. Standing with my hand on the doorknob, I felt embarrassed by letting Janet’s loverboy molest me. Knowing that Janet’s perverted boyfriend was at least temporarily indisposed, I decided to gather my self-dignity and eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Oh man, is she ever gonna be pissed or what?” Said Donny.

“I can’t wait to see her expression, when she comes through that door, and finds out it was all a setup!” Janet laughed.

Ah, so that was the “plan”. It wasn’t to trap Cal. It was a scheme to make a fool out of me. Well, I can play that game too! Quickly I devised my own little plan of turning the tables on all of them. I messed up my hair and lipstick, undid my jeans and threw open the door.

“Hi guys! Having fun? I sure am! Think I’ll try out that new hot tub!” I said eagerly, watching their jaws drop to the floor.

Ripping my buttonless blouse off, I staggered into their bedroom. Janet followed close behind, quizzing me the whole time.

“So, how did it go with Cal? Did he try anything?” She leaded.

“Gosh Janet, I don’t see a problem with Cal. Why he’s a perfect gentleman,” I said, cringing inside. “Don’t you have an extra swimsuit in here?” I asked, tearing through her lingerie drawer.

She had no extra suit, but I did find an old teddy that might be a good substitute. I stripped out of my jeans, bra and panties, and shoved myself into the dilapidated one-piece, see-through fabric. The faded teddy was at best one size too small for my larger frame and big boobs. Closing the two crotch snaps, and pulling up the spaghetti straps, I gazed at my whorish self in the dresser mirror. Taking a deep breath, the thin fabric stretched almost to the point of tearing.

“This should get Cal’s attention. Don’t you think?” I asked rhetorically, reapplied my lipstick, and tweaked my noticeably hard nipples.

Janet was speechless with my behavior and choice in seductive wardrobe. I pulled out a dark blue teddy from her drawer and advised she should wear it, so I wouldn’t feel too out of place. She numbly obliged me and got ready. The two of us wrapped a pair of beach towels around us and went to rejoin the men.

In the front room, Cal had the stereo playing a ballsy blues CD by Susan Tedeschi (who I personally adore). Janet and I downed another salty Margarita and I sashayed over to the stereo. Cranking it up several notches, I pulled a bewildered Cal to his feet to dance with me. Donny and Janet’s looks of total confusion were fuel enough to feed my need to put on an indecent show. Eventually the two of them began dancing together, more or less, as silent observers.

“See you changed your pants, Cal. I didn’t mean to get you all wet before,” I purred and slung my locked hands around his neck.

Overtly moving my pelvis against his body, I leaned back to afford him a nice view of my semi-covered cleavage. Glancing at the other couple, I noticed Donny trying to mimic our actions. It was rather cute to see my perpetrators still trying to conspire against me. I found myself relaxing in the long skinny arms of my degenerate molester, and decided to refocus on my scheme.

“Ooooh Cal, it’s SO hot in here. How can you stand it?” I asked, seductively pulling his polo shirt up and over his head.

Competitive Donny removed his shirt in response, while Janet tentatively felt my husband’s bare chest. I didn’t dare look goofy Cal in the face, but undid his belt buckle. With one long jerk, I pulled his belt from around him. Letting my hands roam his muscular chest, I had to admit he was very toned for an older pervert. The more seduction I applied, the more dirty Cal’s hands felt me up and tried to unloosen my towel. I bounced off of him and fixed my fingers on his pants button.

“Aren’t you just burning up in these pants?” I whispered, and undid them.

Immediately his pants fell from his slender waist, to expose his shorts. But, NO SHORTS! Oh my God! Once I realized my error, I bent down to retrieve his falling slacks. That’s when I was greeted with a fully erect cock in my face. With hands on his hips, Cal proudly displayed his nudity and swung his hips to slap my cheek with his nine-inch beast.

“Whoa, you naughty boy! We’d better put a lid on that bad boy right now!” I exclaimed, jumping to my feet.

Without a second thought, I unwrapped my towel and re-wrapped it around his waist. Now there was nothing but a thin, frail teddy between my total nakedness and Cal’s probing hands. I danced in and out of his grasp, and watched Donny drop his pants and shorts. I was somewhat surprised to see Janet’s delayed reaction to Donny’s exposure. With her gawking eyes fixed on my husband’s attributes, she only gave up her beach towel after Donny insisted.

“Well, I think it’s time to check out that new hot tub,” I said, pulling away from Cal’s yucky fingers.

I ran to the door and down the dark deck, with Cal in hot pursuit. He was in such a hurry, he barely reacted to loosing the towel along the way. By the time Janet and Donny caught up to us, the cold night air had hit me. The combination of the brisk fall air and alcohol almost made me pass out.

Naked Cal got in the tub and helped me step in. Now the night air, booze and hot water combined to send my head reeling. I crossed my arms to cover my shaking boobs and stood frozen in the bubbling water. I hardly noticed Janet and Donny get in next to me and sit down. With limited space in the tub, Janet boldly sat on my husband’s naked lap.

“Barb, Honey, what’s wrong –you’re shivering!” Observed Donny.

“I don’t feel so good,” I stuttered, through chattering lips.

“Here, take my hands. See Cal’s got a seat saved for you. You’ll feel better in the water,” he said and took my hands.

Making sure I wouldn’t end up in Cal’s lap, I eased into the hot water next to him, sitting across from Janet and Donny. It DID feel better to be in the water –much better! Cal’s long arms on the tub’s edge circled around me, and he seemed happy just to sit there with his bare leg touching mine. We downed yet another drink and sat still in secluded semi-darkness.

Janet finally broke the silence with an off-color joke she had recently heard. That broke the dam, so to speak, as the guys answered with a barrage of dirty jokes. I laugher politely. Janet came up with another joke, squirming and giggling as she told it. Not being a joke-teller, I silently watched as she openly teased Donny. In my tipsy state, I reached out and grabbed her teddy straps and yanked them down to expose her bosom.

“Well Janet’s flat-chested, isn’t that a hoot?” I laughed in derision, hoping that would suffice as a joke.

Expecting my conservative sister to swell up with embarrassment, I was thoroughly taken back when she grinned, stuck her a-cup tits out and tossed her shoulders back and forth. Quite content with showing off her tiny tits, she pulled her arms from the straps and glared back at me. Suddenly she reached out and grabbed at my strained straps, tearing them both off the flimsy teddy.

“At least I don’t have more than a mouthful, like some people!” She yelled and gyrated against my husband’s pelvis.

I initially reacted by crossing my arms to cover up, until I saw the effect my ample rack was having on the guys. With their eyes glued to my hidden boobs, I knew it was time to put up or shut up. No way was she getting the best of me; I lowered my arms and proudly stuck out my chest in defiance. Janet couldn’t help but notice the guys ogling my d-cupped melons and retaliated. She stood up, unhooked her crotch snaps and pulled her teddy off.

“Well, having big boobs isn’t EVERYTHING! It’s nice to have a sweet ass, don’t you think, Donny?” She said, then bent over and shoved her ass within inches of Donny’s face.

“Hey you two, simmer down now. The wonderful differences between you are nothing to fight over,” Donny reasoned, and lightly spanked Janet’s bare ass.

She still straddled him and glared at me, while he guided her naked ass down into the water. Whether she was actually fucking him or just riding him, it pissed me off to watch her to see her grinding away on my husband’s lap. I relaxed back against Cal’s body and brought his hand down to massage my breast.

“Aah yes, those wonderful differences! For instance, I find it hard to believe that Barb’s a blonde and Janet, a brunette. Are you sure you’re a true blonde, Barb?” Cal teased.

“Fuck yes, I’m blonde! You want proof, asshole?” I yelled indignantly and stood up.

I turned to straddle Cal’s legs and yanked open the crotch snaps on my teddy. In doing so, it ripped the teddy. I was so drunk and pissed by then, I simply tore off what little was left of the damaged teddy and pitched it. Raising one leg to the tub’s edge, I forced Cal’s face close to my exposed pussy.

“See, you fucker –it’s BLONDE, right?”

I didn’t check behind me for a reaction to my blatant actions, but concentrated on Cal’s expression. He just silently gazed at the small blonde patch between my legs. I languished in my dominant role over this aging creep.

“What’s wrong Cal, cat got your tongue? If you don’t watch out, pussy will get it. Why not give it the old taste test, hmmm? Come on chicken; taste my blonde pussy!” I demanded, and pulled his mouth to my bush.

I’m not sure what came over me then, but I knew what was going IN me –his tongue! The scent of my juices filled the night air, as he ate me out. Within seconds of having his experienced tongue lapping away at my clitoris, I started to come. He stuck one of his lecherous fingers in my pussy and I pulled back in disgust. I turned around, fully expecting to find an avid audience, but they were gone. Rejuvenated and revived from my quick orgasm, I easily broke away from Cal’s clutches and headed back inside.

Donny and Janet were curled up together on the front room couch under a blanket. They both sheepishly stared up at me and almost spoke in unison.

“I, err, We’re sorry Barb. We never expected this to get out-of-hand,” Janet apologized contritely, while Donny nodded.

“Well, I hope this proves, you can’t put anything over on this big-titted blonde,” I snickered, throwing open the blanket and pulling Donny up by his wrists.

“I can’t believe seeing you with Janet go at each other like that!” I said, hugging my husband’s naked body.