Themes: sexual frustration, teasing, edging, free use, cheating, squirting, facial, rough sex
"Ok, so this is your fifth session and I want to dig a bit deeper into your emotions. I understand the facts of your situation; you love your wife but once you found out she cheated all trust was broken and you have basically been ignoring each other since. So tell me, what do you think about when you see her around the house?" The man sits across from me, looking down, clearly still full of anger. I feel sort of helpless with him. Usually I can break through by session three at least, but he's a tough one.
He shifts in his seat and finally looks up... at the ceiling, not at me. But it's a start.
"I mean obviously I just get pissed as soon as I see her," he grunts, seemingly annoyed at my question.
"And why is that? What is bringing up this anger when she's doing something so harmless as, let's say, cooking dinner?"
He looks confused for a moment, then sighs.
"Every time I see her, I just see--" he cuts himself off and starts to make a fist.
"Go on, I'm not judging you, I'm here to help," I encourage.
Finally he looks straight at me and says, "I see her getting fucked by another man... excuse my profanity."
"Thank you for sharing that," I say, smiling, "and you can swear as much as you'd like with me. It's a form of expressing emotions." I knew that he was thinking this for the previous four sessions, but I'm glad I finally got him to say it for himself. He looks relieved, then continues.
"Like, if she's making food like you said, I see her getting bent over the fucking counter by some asshole who walked straight past our wedding photos in MY HOUSE and didn't blink an eye," his voice begins to raise with anger.
"Or if she's doing laundry, I see her taking off her clothes for him, getting on her knees in the laundry room and sucking his cock right before my eyes, while he taunts me, telling me how much better he fucks my wife, how much she loves it, how I couldn't please her so she had to find someone bigger and better." His tone has changed but I can't quite sense what emotion he's displaying.
"I see. Well it's quite normal to feel insecure after a partner's infidelity. So when you imagine that situation, what do you see yourself doing?" I push further with the questions, as he's clearly in a mood to open up. And for some dirty reason, I like hearing about these visions he's having. It's almost like it's... turning me on. His anger, his passion... oh no, no. I'm a therapist, I can't allow these thoughts to take over during a session. When I focus again after my mind is done wandering, I realize he's been silent for a long moment. And he's looking down again. Oh well, I guess that's all the truth-telling he'll be doing for today!
Then he looks up again, seemingly ashamed. "What I see myself doing... well, it's bad. I can't bear to say it out loud, especially in front of a nice lady like you," he confides.
I giggle without meaning to, and say the first thing that comes to mind. "I may be good at my job, but I'm not perfect or nice or pure. I have bad thoughts too."
"Oh yeah? Like what?" He asks the question this time, smiling back at me. For a moment I consider telling him how his anger turned me on, but I clear my throat and sit up and find something unrelated to say instead.
"Well, when I'm very angry, I have thoughts about hurting people. I would never act on them, but they are there. I just have to acknowledge that it's a natural, unhelpful urge that is easy to suppress. Is that what your thoughts are like?" I turn the prompt back on him.
He thinks for a second then says sincerely, "well, no. Not really." After taking a pause and a big sigh, he continues. "It's weird, I'm not even thinking about hurting the guy that did it anymore. I mean I guess I did for a little bit when I found out, but now my thoughts are more about her..."
He trails off, so I push further, anticipating what he might say and squeezing my thighs together to stop the fire that has begun burning between them. "What about her?"
"Ok well you said you're not judging me so I'll just let it out I guess," he says, sighing again. "For our entire marriage my wife just wanted plain, boring sex. I brought up things that I wanted to do many times and she shut me down. Eventually I gave up and just got used to it. But now that she's got me fucked up like this I keep imagining doing to her all those things she didn't want before."
My eyes are wide with excitement now and I almost feel like I'm going to start drooling. I can't ignore the fact that this big strong man wanting to take over and dominate his wife is getting me so turned on.
"Oh yeah, like what?" I ask, not even hiding my smirk anymore.
The man seems surprised but starts to lean in and happily answers. "Hmm well I want to get her on her knees and hold her head and push my cock all the way down her throat, that would be nice." He's shifting in his seat now. Maybe he's getting turned on too...