I was wearing a black dress with a black belt and a black bonnet with netting that came down over my face and black imitation roses on top. John and I slipped into the buffet tent.
"Gods," said John. "Abigail had a lot of family. I've never seen so many people at a funeral."
"Yes," I said, shifting from one foot to the other. "You have to admit, that atmosphere was a bit heavy."
"It was a funeral for a woman who died at the age of twenty-one, Megan."
"Yeah, but - you gotta admit, they were all laying it on a bit thick. The caterwauling, throwing themselves on the casket, bawling during the service. Have some dignity, I say."
John considered my statement. "I have to admit, I tried to say nice things to people when I saw them, but a lot of them looked terrible. Did you see her grandmother?"
I smirked. "Yeah, exactly! Makeup running everywhere. Couldn't understand a word she said because of how scratched her throat was."
"It was like someone grinding corn," John said, laughing. Then he got melancholy. "I do miss Abigail. She would have had something hilariously cruel to say. I wonder what she could possibly have suffered that took her out so quickly? One day she was fine, then she was just pale, and then... gone."
I felt bile at the back of my throat. "Oh John, what's wrong with you?! Why would you linger on such a horrible thing?!" I felt my rage overtaking me. "You morbid asshole! She was our friend, for gods' sake!" I descended into weeping.
"Hey! Hey! Shh shh shh," said John, taking me into a hug. "I'm sorry. You're right. I'm sorry." He held me as I sobbed into his chest. "Hey. Have you seen these terrible hors d'oeuvres?" I wiped my eyes and sniffed as I giggled.
"They're so dry and tasteless! Who ordered these?"
"I know, right?"
----
"Stand up, Megan."
I climbed off Sir's lap. My ass was red raw. I stared at the ground.
"Look at me, Megan."
I looked up at him. He was still sitting. His face was impassive. I didn't know how to interpret it. All I knew was that he frightened me. It was entirely possible that he was weighing up whether he could thrash me again.