I can't sleep, I'm too excited. It's my birthday tomorrow.
That's not why I'm agitated; it's more the gift I'm giving myself.
Have you ever wanted something so much it hurts? So much it consumes you, it floods out your thoughts, and it beats with your pulse, throbbing through each second. A painfully sweet obsession. Sweet because you're so grateful it exists, here on this earth, you're sure its the reason you exist and you know you'll do anything to have it, because you don't have a choice, you need it.
Well that's why I can't sleep. I'm surprised I managed to wait this long, but I wanted it to be special, my birthday seemed apt.
Tomorrow I'm going to have you.
You don't know this yet.
I think of you, you're sleeping now (you're always asleep by 11 pm), I picture you naked (you always sleep naked), in your cream room, under your black sheets. I can imagine these things because I've seen them. Often.
I was on the treadmill the moment my life changed. My eyes came across you and my heart, my everything halted, you almost made me fall on the machine!
You were sat there lifting weights, oh so hot and handsome. I knew we were made for each other. That amazing body was meant to press against mine. That beautiful mouth was made to kiss my lips.
Despite being damn attractive I'm very shy, so I didn't approach you for a while. I didn't know then how you'd soon take me over; it was just an amazing crush.
I spent most evenings in the gym in the hope of seeing you. I followed you around the machines like a puppy, working out close enough to watch your sweat trickle. Mesmerised by your muscles as they flexed, by the adorable look of concentration you wore.
I don't think you noticed me, which made me hesitate in talking to you. It's just I'm usually noticed! I'm told I'm beautiful, softest clear skin, long lush hair, bee stung lips, large breasts and a shapely behind.
I had to progress this; I ached for you too much. One evening I gathered all my courage to talk to you.
You were bent over the water fountain. I admired your stature and taut behind. My heart thudded and nausea swept through me as I sauntered over.
I hovered beside you, you didn't move. I was lost for a few moments in the water spilling from your open mouth. Then I took a breath and spoke:
"Hey, I'm Scarlet, I've seen y..."
My words trailed off as you stood up and walked away. Just like that, as casual as that, you tore me inside out.
Your rejection winded me. Punched empty I shrunk mortified and ashamed.
Then I felt fury, how dare you make me feel like this, like I'm nothing!
I stopped going to the gym. I couldn't bear to be near you and be ignored, it crushed me. I suppose that's when things became really unhealthy.
I started to follow you.
It was wonderful actually, to see new aspects of you. At the gym you seemed so serious and quiet. But then I watched you laughing! You laugh a lot and it makes my heart melt. I learnt your name.
I watched you discussing things, all professional and capable with colleagues, suave in your suit. I watched you drunk and carefree, jostling with friends. I watched you joke with bouncers and flirt with waitresses. I watched you care for and tease your siblings.
Of course I soon followed you home.
If I enjoyed watching you with others, I enjoyed watching you alone even more.
It's strange how oblivious people can be when they think they're safely cocooned in their environment. I watched you undisturbed and undiscovered from your windows.
There is an intimacy in these moments, knowing that it's only being shared by the two of us, although of course only I know its happening.
I bought myself a sexy tight black leather outfit so I could observe you undetected in the winter darkness. Luck is on my side and I take her help as a sign. Like how your bedroom window happens to be above a climbable conservatory. Like how you always sleep with the blinds open and always naked, covers kicked aside exposing your hot body.
I love the smell of your bed.
Another sign is that your housemate smokes weed and often forgets to lock the backdoor.
Adhering to your routines, I can watch TV curled in your spot. Wash in your shower inhaling your soaps and sleep in your bed, laying my face in your dent, pulling the scent of you around me.
I remember the first time I saw you naked. I held my breath as you discarded your clothes to reveal the Adonis you are. Your sculpted chest, your tight ass and your beautiful suckable cock.
I had to touch myself right there on the roof and was just getting going when amazingly you started to wank too! I watched in awe as you jerked off your gorgeous dick, your muscular arm shaking vigorously, your mouth open.
I longed to put my pussy there.
Then I watched you cum. God you look so sexy when you cum! That was the first time we came together, me cumming right outside your window, peering in, wishing I was licking the spunk from your belly.
And wow, you're so sexual! You jerk off every morning and night, at least, every one that I've been present for.
My favourite is when you carelessly face the window while you do it. I know you can't see me, only reflections, but I pretend you can. I imagine you're getting off on watching me watch you wank. That you want me. That you'll pull me through the window and throw me on the bed and fuck me, hard, mercilessly.
And so I lie here knowing that tomorrow I will be touching that body, I will taste those lips. I will feel your cock inside me. Finally.
I'm horny now and maybe cumming will help me sleep. I don't want to be tired for you. I need all my energy for what I have planned.
I reach my hand down between my legs and push my fingers into my pussy. They slip in easily as I'm so wet from thinking about you. With my other hand I find my clit and rub it rhythmically, thinking of your body heavy on top of mine. My legs spread wide as you thrust in-between them, your breath on my neck, my mouth full of your fingers, of your tongue.
I now shove three of my fingers into my tight cunt and stretch it, imagining it to be your thick hard cock plunging inside me. I feel the weight of you pressing on me and that you're holding my arms tight and I can't move under you. Taking you, I can just be fucked.
That makes me cum with a groan and I roll over, sweating. I lick my fingers clean and burrow into the pillow, wishing it was your chest, finally drifting off.
*************************
I'm in your bathroom.
The bag by my feet has everything I need. Sturdy ropes, lubrication, chloroform. You can get anything online if you search long enough. I considered rohypnol but you're a strong man and I need to be sure you're easy to control. I also want you to remember every moment of our first time.
Finally I hear your footsteps. My heart flutters and I grip the chloroform soaked cloth. I don't even breathe as you enter the room.
I haven't thought about what I'll do after this night, it's irrelevant; I need this to happen like I need air. I haven't thought about what I'll do if you're facing the bathroom when I come out. I know you'll be facing away. Because you have to be.
Cautiously I push the handle down. I edge forwards.
You come into view. You're facing away.
I creep up and firmly clamp the cloth over your mouth, braced for your struggle. You jerk in shock then grab at my hands. But I cling, like a limpet on your back.
It's too late anyway; you'll have breathed in before you thought not to. I admire the fight you have in you, it makes my pussy flush. A vigorous moment and then you slump in my arms.
Before you drop all the way to the floor I bowl forwards knocking us both onto the bed, thus making an impossible task of moving your unconscious body slightly manageable.
With a lot of sweat and swearing I manoeuvre you onto your back. I delight in removing your clothes, stroking and kissing you all over. Your skin is as soft as I hoped. If I had a choice I'd drag this moment out forever, layer by layer, but I can't have you waking up before you're restrained.
I take the ropes which I've threaded securely under the mattress and strap you spread eagled to the bed with knots I learnt online. I tie a gag over your mouth, tight, checking that I can feel your breath through your nostrils. I pause to inhale it.
Satisfied with my work I decide to take a quick shower, leaving the door open in case you rouse.
*************************
I'm straddled over your body.
I've made sure I look stunning. Sultry make up, dark red underwear, black stockings & suspenders.
I'm daubing your forehead with cold water. I'm a bit impatient and getting a bit rougher with it when your eyes flutter open. I watch them focus, and then widen in fear and confusion. I expected you to be scared, but I didn't realise I'd feel distressed by it. I can't let that show; I have to appear in control.
You start writhing and bucking, making muffled but loud angry moans. I grip to you with my thighs like a rodeo, trying to settle you with my slender weight.
I can't have this chaos. Steadily I reach for the knife at my side.
It glints and you try to back into the bed, rigid and terrified. I put my finger to my mouth, then yours.
"Shhh Baby," I whisper soothingly.
I cup your cheek. You probably feel groggy with a thudding head.
"You must be thirsty. I'm going to take this off you," I start to gently lift your head to remove the gag, "but you must promise to be quiet, or you'll make me very angry."
I gesture with the knife and you nod.
Dumbed with fear, you comply. I lift a glass of cool water to your lips; you take a few deep gulps. It feels good to care for you like this. But you're staring at me with a look of pure hatred.
"Don't be cross my darling," I purr. I trail my fingers down your sculpted chest. "I've been waiting for this a long time."
"Who the fuck are you?" Your voice is level, cold, "and what the fuck do you want you crazy Bitch?"
Your first words sting me. I shy back stunned with hurt and then fury flashes through me!
But wait, there's a look of recognition on your face and you squint at me.
