Reprogramming Eria

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences

. - Robert Green Ingersoll

I arrived at the airport and parked in the executive parkade. Heading for arrivals, I realized I had made better time than I thought and grabbed a Booster Juice while I waited for Erika to show. The whole thing was surreal. My sister was sending my eighteen year old niece because she couldn't handle her anymore. What the hell did I know about how to handle teenagers?

I sipped the smoothie as I mulled over this crazy scenario that was playing out. Truly I hoped that Nick was right and being away from her home environment, Erika would change and adopt new ways. I really didn't think I could handle all the crap she'd been handing her mother the last couple of years. My initial reservations to this escape were coming back to haunt me. As I watched the arrivals from various flights filing out with their luggage I imagined Erika skipping school, getting calls and letters from the principal, her ditching her curfew and refusing to obey any rules I set. I'd have to be straight with her from the outset. And tough if I was going to survive this demoness of mayhem and disaster I'd agreed to manage.

The latest set of arrivals began to thin when I saw a tall, stunning blonde standing beside a black hard-sided rolling suitcase. She was dressed in a white camisole top that offset her golden skin nicely and a pair of tight blue yoga pants, her feet wrapped in a pair of blue rhinestone blingy sandals. She had a halo of long wavy hair that tossed about as she looked around the arrival area for someone, one strand absently chewed on as she peered about. I figured she would be in her mid-twenties, probably a college student and wondered who the lucky guy was. Or girl, could be a girl in this day and age I thought with a grin.

The blonde stunner finally looked in my direction and spotted someone near the Booster Juice station. She began to wave as she dragged her luggage along.

"Uncle Marc!" she called out.

I nearly fell off my chair.

THIS

was Erika? My mind went completely blank for a moment. I staggered to my feet, still holding the empty smoothie container. Letting go of her suitcase and carry-on in a pile a few feet away, she launched into my arms, hugging me tightly. The feel of her blonde waves in my face, the touch of her hand at the back of my head, God, the feel of her unrestrained breasts mashed against my chest cleared any possible thought I might have come up with. For the first time since I was fourteen, I drew a complete blank.

She pulled back from her hug. "Oh my god, you haven't changed a bit! How long has it been? You look exactly like I remembered from when I was a little girl!" She stared up a me and I marvelled at her height. I'm a good 6'1" and her eyes were level with my chin. She had to be at least 5'9" I gazed into those green eyes and long lashes and opened my mouth. Nothing came out. I attempted some sort of greeting, I think it came out in Klingon. I closed my eyes in panic.

Get a hold of yourself, man! This was no time to freeze up. You are used to dealing with captains of industry and leader of state. Get it together!

I opened my eyes. Erika was looking up at me still. Nope, I had nothing. Not a single thing came to mind. God in heaven! Erika took me by the hand and led me back to her luggage. She handed me the handle to her rolling suitcase and she picked up her carry-on bag. Leading me by the hand she dragged me through the automatic doors and into the October sunlight. I barely had the presence of mind to toss the empty Booster Juice in a garbage can outside the doors.

"Where's the car?" I think it might have been the second time she'd just asked me.

"Oh, uh, straight through here." I led her to my Mustang GT. Finally gaining some semblance of mind, I pressed the fob to unlock the doors and took her carry-on and stowed both of her luggage in the trunk.

As I settled into the driver's seat she asked, "Can we drive with the top down?"

"Sure," I grunted and reached over to flip the latches and pressed the button to fold up the top.

"I love this car!" she gushed. This was not at all how our first conversation was supposed to be going. I felt off-kilter, out of control. She had me on the run and by the look in her eyes, she knew it. This was making out to be a disaster of epic proportions. We wheeled out of the parkade and headed for the highway back into the city. Erika reached over and turned on the stereo. The starting riffs of

Start Me Up

belted from the speakers.

"Oooh!" she squealed, "I love the Stones!" and began to sing along with Mick Jagger, her gold hair billowing out behind her in the wind. I grinned in spite of myself, she was infectious. I was starting to think Nick might be on to something. Just maybe... this might work out.

We rocked all the way back to my place, Erika putting on a show for all the folks we passed on the freeway. She was... expressive. She hollered out the lyrics to

Turn Up The Radio, Life Is A Highway

and

She Drives Me Crazy

(a little foreshadowing there) before replacing the word corvette in Prince's

Little Red Corvette

with Mustang.

I stopped to put the top down before pulling into the parking garage. I parked in my stall and hauled Erika's luggage to the elevator.

"If I'm not around, there is a front desk with a concierge who can help you with everything from making dinner reservations to calling a cab. Phil is a nice guy so treat him nice and he can make your life much easier. I have purchased a Transit pass for you. It will take you anywhere in the city. The Grandin LRT station is about a block away and it will take you within two blocks of City High if you get off at Bay Square."

We took the elevator to my floor and got her clothes squared away her in the guest bedroom. While she emptied her suitcase into her drawers I called down to Phil to let him know that Erika's things should be showing up any day and to sign for them when they arrived. Hanging up I called down the hall and let Erika we were going out to eat.

"'Kay Uncle Marc, just let me change into something more appropriate."

Twenty minutes later she emerged from her room dressed to the nines. A little black strapless sheath mini-dress paired with matching four inch platform pumps. Erika had added eyeliner and something pink and glistening on her lips. I felt Junior rising to the bait. Down boy! That's my niece dammit! Either she saw the beginning of my erection or my face was giving my discomfort away because she got a very pleased look on her face. I did my best Billy Crystal imitation, "You look... mahvelous!"

"Why thank you Uncle Marc." Erika giggled at my terrible impersonation.

We took the Mustang over to Pampa, a Brazilian Rodízio which is an all-you-can-eat steakhouse. Erika took delight in flirting with the cute 'gauchos' who brought around skewers of beef roast, steak, bacon wrapped chicken, pork sausage and legs of lamb and served us. On the way home I took her grocery shopping to figure out what she liked to eat. As we put the groceries away I decided that now was as good a time as any for a little talk.

"Okay Erika. We need to have a chat. Set some ground rules."

"Okay," she agreed brightly as she posed sexily for me.

"Erika, your mom shared with me some of the things that happened back East. I'm not going to hold that stuff against you, you have a clean slate here. But we need to have a good relationship for this to work. I will provide shelter and food, basic supplies, clothing as needed and try to do my best to give you a good environment to live in. You are an adult now, and as an adult, I am giving you a fair bit of leeway. I expect you to keep your room clean, to clean up after yourself in the kitchen and bathroom. I expect you to attend all of your classes at school and complete assignments and homework as requested. You can come and go as you please within reason. I don't mind if you go out as long as I know where you're going. No drugs, alcohol within reason, no coming home drunk. No sex without permission. Any questions?"

Her fun and delightful demeanour had begun to slip as I laid out my ground rules. By the time I mentioned sex she was scowling at me. 'Here we go' I thought to myself.

"I'm eighteen and legal to drink, why are you giving me a hard time about that?"

"I'm not. But living with someone else, whether you're married or just roommates is all about respecting each other. I will respect your rights as an adult as long as you respect me and my home. I don't want to have to deal with a drunk girl in the middle of the night or clean up your spew off the floor. That it complete disrespect."

"I have alcohol here in the house. I have cider, vodka, various whiskies and a few liqueurs. You are free to imbibe within reason. That means you want to have a drink with dinner or a drink after dinner, that's fine. Getting drunk and abusing the privilege, not fine."

"No beer?"

"I don't usually have beer because I don't like it much. When I have friends coming over, I'll pick up a case of something I know they like. If you like beer you can let me know and I'll pick some up." I waited to see if she would tell me what she liked. Nope, she just scowled.

"Fine, but how can you tell me whether I can have sex or not?"

"Because you live in my house and must abide by my rules. Take it or leave it. I will not be responsible for you getting knocked up on my watch. If you find someone that you want to be with long-term, we'll discuss it when the time comes and take appropriate measures."

"Ewww. I am so not having

that

conversation with you."

"Suit yourself. That's your prerogative, but no sex without talking to me first."

Erika stood up and stalked off to her room. I watched that marvellous, furious ass stalk out of my living room. This was going to be a long eight-and-a-half months.

The next morning we set off for City High to get Erika enrolled. Her transcripts from back east had been received and the staff was very helpful in getting her into the equivalent classes that she had been in at home. Once all the paperwork was finished I gave Erika a hug and set off for home.

Things went pretty smoothly for a couple of weeks. I kept in touch with Sis and let her know things were good and Erika was behaving herself. Sue wasn't forthcoming on any details of how her and Rob were making out in counselling so I figured it was either too soon to tell or things weren't getting better. Other than the strained conversation over the rules, my niece and I seemed to be getting alone okay. I was busy with work but made a conscious effort to take some time away to have dinner with her and ask her how her day went and how she was doing in her classes. I offered to help her with homework and she took me up several times with math assignments she didn't understand. Her wardrobe was a little provocative, but frankly with her looks she could wear a gunny sack and it would look sexy. So I said little and simply enjoyed the improvement in the local scenery.

Once in a while Erika would be in a mood. I was never sure whether it was something that happened at school or she woke up on the wrong side of the bed but she would bark something nasty to me. Each time I called her out on it, not wanting to her get away with it and set a precedent. Each time she grudgingly apologize. One Saturday I had some friends over. Nick was there as was a couple of girls we were friends with. Dana and Brigitte were a lesbian couple from down the street that Nick had introduced me to. They were a heap of fun, two of the funniest people I've ever met. They always had me in stitches. Another friend, Gwen, whom I used to date, was hanging out with us. I like Gwen. She likes me as a friend. We had mutually agreed there was no chemistry but we stayed friends and once in a while we would even go out just for fun.

We were sitting around on a Saturday night having a few beers (I was enjoying a nice, crisp Irish cider) and clowning around. Gwen and I were in the kitchen and she was getting pretty physical in her teasing. Hip checks into the island, a wet willie (you wet your finger and stick it in someone's ear) only with chip dip. Onion dip in your ear really bites by the way. Lots of laughs and giggles. Gwen was ahead on points if anyone was counting so I decided to get even by tickling her. She's very ticklish and really hates to be tickled. Which is perfect. Erika arrived home from some friend's place in the middle of our fooling around in the kitchen and immediately stomped into her room. I went to her door and tried to talk but no dice, she wasn't buying. She ignored me. So I went back to the party such as it was. A little later Erika came out and joined us. She seemed to be in a better mood for a bit. Then Erika's inner bitch came out.

Gwen had just finished telling about a hilarious incident at work that week. She's quite the practical joker. A guy with her company had gotten into an incident on another job site and was found to be using drugs. There was some discussion within the company whether instituting a random drug test was legal and whether a more comprehensive mass testing was worth the cost. There wasn't much happening at work that week so she got on the intercom and announced that everyone was to finish up whatever they were working on as the company had instituted a mass drug screening and everyone was to line up as the testing was to commence in ten minutes.

Her boss came out of his office in a fury as nothing had been decided yet. They watched as five employees peeled out of the company parking lot. None of the five would return any phone calls to their cells. They had been turned off. He started to chew Gwen out saying she had just lost him 25 hours of man hours. She laughed and told him, "C'mon Harry, now you know where your drug problem is!" We all cracked up.

"That was stupid!" Erika blurted out. Everyone turned to Erika. "Uh, I mean... she could have lost her job over a silly stunt."

"Not much chance of that, really," Gwen explained, "Harry is my uncle and although he was a little miffed at me at the time, but the next day he was re-telling the story himself and laughing about it. He has a good sense of humour and even if I do tend to pull some pranks, none of them really hurt anyone."

"Really? What about those five workers? Now they're probably going to lose their jobs!" Erika's voice was getting angry, nasty.

Gwen looked over at me, I wasn't sure quite how to handle this. I was beginning to see some of what Sue had detailed. Gwen gave a bit of a shrug and said, "Nah, there's one guy that is on his last legs and will probably get fired the next time he shows up late for work, but the other guys are all master craftsmen. Harry's not going to fire them. The worst that could happen is they have to have an apprentice drive the company truck when they go out on a call." Gwen laughed at this, helping to diffuse the tension. The others laughed along with her.

The look on Erika's face could curdle milk. She had been rude, but I would talk with her about it later when our guests were gone. Things went back to normal for a bit. Erika kept making comments, but none were offensive enough for me to intervene. Until Dana related a story about a lesbian friend of hers that had us all in stitches.

"Fuckin' dykes."

"Excuse me?" I exploded. The whole place went silent. I'm not sure anyone was sure they had just heard what they thought they heard. "Did you just say what I think you said?"

Erika quailed at the tone of my voice but stuck to her guns, her pretty chin raised defiantly. "Probably. I thought I was pretty clear."

"You will apologize to Dana. Right now!" I was pissed. I don't remember ever being so embarrassed. Or so angry.

"Why? She is a dyke. And she and Brigitte are fucking, aren't they?" Erika's eyes blazed triumphantly, a sneer on her face. She apparently didn't think I had the balls to take her on in front of my friends.

"Hey now, that's a little harsh..." Nick tried to intervene on Dana's behalf.

"Dana is my good friend and you will not refer to her by that slur. And what she and Brigitte choose to do in their own home is their business, not yours. Apologize!" I demanded.

"No." She was sticking to her guns. Hey, why not? It had always worked for her before. Her parents would have let it slide, or at the very worst sent her to her room, maybe grounded her later. Which she would ignore anyway. Erika didn't know me very well, however.

I very slowly stood up and made my way across the room, giving her every opportunity to retreat from her position. I took her carefully by the arm and began leading her out of the room. She was openly disdainful and grinned at her victory over me. I thought I heard mutter 'Oh, shit' as we passed into the hallway. Erika tried to yank her arm away from my grasp but held on to her until we reached the door of my office.

"Wha..." she started to say when I flung her into the room. "What the fuck!" she hissed, rubbing her arm.

"This is my home. Those people out there are not only my honoured guests but my friends, which you are not. You will not denigrate my friends. Ever. They have earned my friendship and my trust. Neither of which you have earned. Or likely to earn if tonight's events are how you act in public." I unbuckled my belt and began slowly pulling it through the belt loops. "If you can't act your age, then perhaps you need to be punished like a little girl."

"You wouldn't." She tilted her head and began to show fear.

"I absolutely would." In one movement, I grabbed her by the waist and upended her over my lap and I sat on the tufted leather chesterfield. She tried to pull away, stand up. My left arm was across her back pushing her face and breasts into the leather couch cushion.

"You can't do this!" she screamed at me.

"Actually I can. My stipulation in allowing you to come and stay was that I could spank you anytime I deemed it necessary. And she and Rob were to have nothing to say about it after. That's the deal. And right now, I deem it absolutely necessary."

"Noo-oo!" Erika wailed. She was wearing a pair of tight yellow yoga pants. They were made with thicker cloth than some of her other ones and I wasn't sure she would get the whole effect if she got to keep them on. I grabbed the waistband of her pants and pulled them down to her knees, exposing a tight pair of pink lacy boy shorts, the ones the ladies wear so they don't have any panty lines. Erika lost it. She kicked and squirmed and nearly twisted off my lap, screaming at the top of her lungs. I grabbed her legs with my other arm and held on. I felt like one of those bull riders at the Calgary Stampede, trying to hold on for eight seconds while the 3000 pound infuriated bull twists and bucks trying to dislodge the rider so the bull can gore him at his pleasure. Her bucking stopped after a couple of seconds of futility. I took the opportunity to commence her punishment.

Looping the belt in half, I raised it over my head and brought it down on her cute behind. Whack! "One!" I counted.

"You fucking bastard!" she hissed.

Whack! "Two."

"Fuck!" she screamed in frustration.

Whack! "Three."

"I'm calling the fucking cops!" Erika squealed.

Whack! "Four. Go ahead. Be my guest. It's still legal to administer corporal punishment and as I have been designated as your guardian by your parents, which I had them sign the papers to that effect, I can legally punish you in this manner." Whack! "Five."

"Nooooo!" she screamed.

Whack! "Six." I actually wasn't sure of the actual nuances of the law. having never had kids, it had never come up before. I knew for sure that it was legal to spank with the palm of your hand. But I wasn't sure about the belt. Fuck it! I'd deal with the consequences when and if they arose.