Andy and I had finally made the decision to move out of our homes. Seeing we were both in our early twenties I guess you could say it was about time. We picked up a three bedroom rental in a not insalubrious neighbourhood at a rent that we thought we could afford, and if we found we couldn't manage we had the third room available to sublet.
We moved in over one weekend, our respective fathers helping us with the heavy lifting, and come Sunday afternoon we were all settled in. We weren't over-endowed with furniture but we had enough to get by.
Monday we were relaxing and taking it easy. We'd both wrangled a day off on a just-in-case basis and we were relaxing and making the most of it by doing nothing. It's nice to have a day where you don't have to do a single damned thing.
Mid-morning there was a knock on the door and I went to answer it. My immediate thought heading towards the door was salesman or pollsters. Wrong and wrong. Two pretty young ladies stood there, smiling happily.
"Can I help you?" I ventured.
"Hi. I'm Louise and this is Michelle. We're your neighbours. I'm that side." Louise jerked her thumb towards the left. "We saw you moving in and thought we'd drop in and say hullo to you and your wife."
"I'm Peter. Well, come on in," I said with a big smile. "I'll just call Andy in to say hullo."
I steered them into the front room and then strolled to the door and called for Andy, telling him we had visitors.
"He'll just be a minute," I assured the girls. "He gets a bit fussed when people drop in unexpectedly."
I saw their eyes open slightly wider and they glanced at each other, jumping to immediate conclusions. Wrong ones, but did I care?
While we were waiting for Andy the girls were commenting on the dΓ©cor, telling me how nicely everything was set up. The words on a limited budget went unsaid, not even hinted at, which I thought very nice of them.
"Your wife certainly has a way with setting things up. You're a lucky man," Lou assured me.
Andy came strolling into the front room. Both girls looked hard and I could see them thinking what a waste of a man. Andy was slightly over six foot, weighed a solid two hundred, all of it muscle, classically handsome, with hair so black it almost glowed, and dark brown eyes.
He was sucking on a bottle of beer as he strolled in and I went right ahead with the introductions.
"Andy, sweetheart, this is Lou and Michelle. They're our neighbours from either side. They were just complimenting on what a wonderful wife you are."
He choked mid-swallow as what I said registered. Beer foamed out of his nostrils and he was frantically gasping and choking for air.
"Oh, he's all choked up," I said sympathetically. "Compliments will do that to him, I've found."
Lou and Michelle were watching Andy's antics with some consternation. He finally caught his breath and whipped out a handkerchief, turning away from us to blow his nose. That done he turned back to face me, blood in his eye.
"What the fuck have you been telling them?" he screamed. "Are you insane?"
"Me?" I said innocently. "I haven't said anything." I turned to address the girls.
"You'll have to forgive him. I think it's come as a bit of a shock to him to find out that he's gay."
I could see it registering on the girls that maybe, just maybe, they'd jumped to the wrong conclusion. Maybe I didn't have a wife at all and certainly not one called Andy.
Andy took a deep breath and held it for a moment, then letting it out slowly. Quite an impressive feat of recovering his self-control.
"Lou, Michelle," he said, nodding politely to the two consternated young ladies. "I don't know what this idiot has been telling you but we're just friends. Were friends, anyway," he added with a pointed look at me. "We're just sharing the house because it's cheaper than renting by yourself."
"I'm terribly sorry if we've offended you," Michelle said softly. "We just knew that a young couple had moved in and we just assumed man and wife."
"Don't tell me. Let me guess," said Andy, holding up a hand in a stop side. "One of you referred to his wife and he didn't bother to correct you."
"Um, yes," Lou agreed, both girls giving me dark looks. I smiled back, unrepentant.