Olivia in Vulmonia

Sergeant Melnyk looked over at the lineup of irritated impatient passengers who were waiting for the Moscow express. The nonstop train was running late for the third time that week. The only saving grace was that the train station had recently gotten airconditoning. Upgrading the building's climate control system had made a world of difference. Prior to the installation of the cooling units, the temperature could be almost unbearable - even with all of the windows open and the fans going. But now Sergeant Melnyk could sit at the border security desk and enjoy the cool breeze coming from the overhead vent located right above his seat.

As he leaned back in his chair and let out a contented sigh, the sergeant was surprised to see two of his officers coming toward his desk with a young woman in tow. He greeted them all in Vulmonian. His officers responded politely in their mother tongue. However, the young lady said nothing. As he looked at her expectantly, she finally muttered in English, "Hello."

"American?" the sergeant guessed.

"Ye... er ... NO!" the girl said quickly. "I'm from Canada!"

"Oh, sorry. I hope I didn't offend you," he sarcastically apologized. "I'm Sergeant Melnyk. I'm the head of border security here at the train station. And what is your name?"

"Tiffany, Sir. Tiffany Tiddles," she replied.

"Corporal Volkov," he said to the slightly older of his two officers. "Private Javanovic," he addressed the younger soldier. "What seems to be the problem?"

"I don't know that we necessarily have a problem," said Corporal Volkov. "But there are a few details about Miss Tiddles story that are a little unusual. Private Jovanovic and I decided that it would be best to conduct a thorough search of Miss Tiddles before we allow her to catch her train."

"Oh?" said Sergeant Melnyk as he leaned forward with interest. "And what exactly are these 'unusual details?'"

"Well, first of all, Miss Tiddles is traveling without any luggage," said Corporal Jovanovic. "She said that the airline lost her bags on the way over here."

"That's a shame." Despite his words, the sergeant did not sound particularly sympathetic. "And what airline was that?"

"American Airlines," Olivia replied.

"Well, that's no surprise," said Sergeant Melnyk. "I don't think a lack of luggage warrants a security search."

"She doesn't even have a purse," the corporal explained. "She claims that she was mugged. The only thing she has on her is this envelope."

Sergeant Melnyk held out his hand and Corporal Volkov handed over the large paper sleeve, containing Olivia's travel documents and money. "If you were mugged and had your handbag stolen, I'm assuming that you filed a police report." The sergeant opened it and peeked inside. He reached in and began placing the contents of envelope onto his desk. "If I were to call Nulmara City Police Department, would they tell me that a Canadian girl named Tiffany Tiddles reported her purse stolen?"

All three officers stared at Olivia, awaiting her answer.

"Well ... um ... you see ... uh ... my friend told me not to bother. He said that there was no point. Um ... he said that the odds of the police catching the thief were so slim, reporting it would just be a waste of time." Despite standing directly under the air vent, Olivia was sweating profusely. She wiped some perspiration away from her upper lip.

Sergeant Melnyk looked puzzled. "And who was this 'friend' who told you not to report the crime?"

"Um ... uh ... Dr. Brovachik. He ... uh ... just gave me some money instead to help me get home." Olivia pointed at the smaller green envelope, which the sergeant had already removed and put on his desk.

Sergeant Melnyk opened it and flipped through the American and Russian bills. "How much did the doctor give you?"

"I'm not sure," Olivia replied honestly. "He handed it to me just as I was entering the train station. I didn't have time to count it."

Sergeant Melnyk picked up the white envelope with 'Ivanov' written across it. He looked inside at all of the Vulmonian ruettes. "And what is this?"

"I was told that Major Ivanov would be working here today. I owe him some money and I wanted to pay him back before I left for Moscow."

"Ah yes," said Sergeant Melnyk. "Unfortunately Major Ivanov was rear ended while he was on his way over. But he should be here soon. The Moscow express is so behind schedule, you might get a chance to see the major before you catch your train." Then Sergeant Melnyk looked over at his two officers. "Is that it?" he asked, sounding unimpressed. "You think that justifies doing a security search?"

Olivia exhaled the anxious breath that she had been holding in. Corporal Volkov and Private Jovanovic may have been behaving unreasonably. But at least Sergeant Melnyk was willing to listen to logic.

"You don't think it's a little odd that this 'Dr. Brovachik' just gave her an envelope full of cash for no reason? You don't think it's strange that she didn't report her stolen purse to the police?" Corporal Volkov gave his commanding officer a challenging look.

Sergeant Melnyk simply replied with a disinterested shrug. Olivia could not help but inwardly smile. It seemed that the sergeant did not find his subordinate soldier's argument convincing.

"Well, what did she do to convince Major Ivanov to give her a bunch of money?" Private Jovanovic pointed out. "Did you ever think about that?"

"Major Ivanov did not give Miss Tiddles any money. He let her borrow some money and now she's paying it back," Sergeant Melnyk countered. "And besides, Major Ivanov will be here any minute. If you're so curious about their arrangement, you can ask him when he arrives."

Olivia was gloating on the inside. Finally, an older Vulmonian man was not looking for an excuse to humiliate her or take advantage of her.

"Her passport says that she's from Moose Jaw, Canada. But she said that she was 'going back home to The States.'" Corporal Volkov pointed at Olivia with an accusatory finger.

"She mispronounced the name of her hometown," said Private Jovanovic, sounding upset. "She called it 'Mouse Jaw.'"

Sergeant Melnyk picked up Olivia's fake passport off of his desk and flipped it open. "Moose Jaw. Mouse Jaw. Sounds the same to me, more or less. We all misspeak from time to time."

Olivia could not believe her good luck. She almost wondered if Major Ivanov had spoken to Sergeant Melnyk ahead of time and explained her situation to him. Maybe Sergeant Melnyk was in on her escape. Maybe that was why he appeared to be taking her side. Of course, Olivia could not be sure. And she certainly was not about to ask. Either way, she was relieved that Sergeant Melnyk seemed to have no interest in searching her.

The sergeant looked up at Olivia from behind his desk. "Miss Tiddles, may I apologize to you on behalf of my two overzealous officers." He shot the two junior soldiers a look of disapproval. They both scowled back in return. "I'm afraid Corporal Volkov and Private Jovanovic may have gotten a little too excited at the prospect of getting to search an attractive young Canadian woman. I don't see anything suspicious going on here. What I see here is a young lady who is traveling alone and who has had a rather unfortunate run of bad luck. I am sorry that the airline lost your luggage. And I am very sorry that your purse was stolen. It sounds to me like the last thing you need is to be harassed by my border security officers." Sergeant Melnyk began sliding the various documents, tickets and wads of cash back into the large envelope. "I see no reason to detain you any longer. Unfortunately, the Moscow express is not yet here. But feel free to relax with a snack or a cup of coffee as you wait for your train. And I wish you a very pleasant trip back home to Canada." He gave her a gracious smile as he extended the manila envelope toward her.

"Thank you so much, Sergeant Melnyk," Olivia sighed in relief as she accepted the thin paper packet.

"Not a problem." The sergeant turned toward the laptop on his desk and refreshed the page he had previously been looking at. "It looks like your train should be arriving in about twenty minutes," he informed her. His two subordinate officers did nothing to hide the sour looks on their faces. "You take care, Tiffany!"

"I will, Sergeant. And thank you again for ..."

"Olivia, you're still here!" came an all too familiar voice from somewhere behind her. "How long does it take to pick up a package?"

Before she could think about what she was doing, Olivia's head snapped around as she took in the sight of the lecherous older neighbor. Her heart pounded in her chest. What was Mr. Fedorov still doing here? Sergeant Melnyk looked at her, puzzled. Both Private Jovanovic and Corporal Volkov immediately stepped closer to her. They were ready to block her path in case she tried to run.

Suddenly there was an announcement from the overhead speakers in Vulmonian. Mr. Fedorov turned his attention away from Olivia as he listened carefully to the words being said in his native language. The announcement in the Eastern European language was soon followed by an English translation. "Now boarding the train for Lazan. All passengers traveling to Lazan must board the train at this time. Please proceed to the platform."

"I'm sorry, Olivia," Mr. Fedorov said. "I have to go catch my train now. But don't you worry, I'll bring you back something nice from Lazan. Not vodka, of course. But I'll be sure to get you something pretty. I could never forget about my favorite American girl!" He gave her a cheeky grin and a wink. He then strolled across the train station and headed outside through the door, which led to platform.

Olivia slowly and nervously looked back over at Sergeant Melnyk. He narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized her face. He reached toward her and expectantly held out his hand. He lowered his gaze to the manila envelope. Reluctantly, Olivia passed it back over to him. He reached inside and pulled out her phony passport. He opened it to the page with all of her faux information.

"Tiffany," Sergeant Melnyk began.

"Yes," she quietly replied.

"Tiffany Tiddles," he said, reading out of the little bound booklet.

"Yes," Olivia practically whispered.

"Tiffany Tammy Tiddles. From Moose Jaw, Canada." He looked up at her with a cynical stare.

Olivia said nothing. She simply nodded.

"Is it my imagination, Tiffany, or did that man just call you 'Olivia?'" Sergeant Melnyk closed her passport and dropped it unceremoniously down onto his desk. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Was I hallucinating, Miss Tiddles, or did that man not just refer to you as his 'favorite American girl?'"

Olivia gulped. "He ... um ... he obviously mistook me for someone else. I ... uh ... I probably look like someone he's met. Someone named Olivia. An Olivia from The United States." Olivia felt her blood pressure rise. Her face felt hot. "It's not my fault that he made a mistake."

Sergeant Melnyk cocked his head to the side as he studied the mysterious western girl in front of him. "Hm."

Olivia prayed that he would give her the benefit of the doubt. At least Mr. Fedorov had to catch his train to Lazan, so he could not be called back for questioning.

"So, tell me something, Tiffany Tammy Tiddles from Moose Jaw, Canada." He repeatedly tapped the front cover of her fraudulent passport with the tip of his finger. "If your name is not Olivia, then why did you turn around when that man called you by the wrong name?"

"I ... um ... I ... er ... it was the English ... that caught my attention. Being here in Vulmonia, I've gotten used to not understanding anything that anyone is saying. So when I hear someone speaking English, I can't help but take notice and listen." Olivia knew that it was not a convincing excuse. But he could not prove that she was lying.

"I'm sorry, Miss Tiddles, but it just seemed like he really knew who you were," Sergeant Melnyk said.

Olivia could not believe that she was so close to freedom and now everything was going to be ruined by the judge's neighbor. There was nothing else she could do. She had to convince the sergeant that she was claiming to be.

She looked Sergeant Melnyk right in the eye. "Well," she said with conviction, "that man does NOT know me. Because my name isn't Olivia and I'm not from America. You can see from my passport that I'm Tiffany Tammy Tiddles from Moose Jaw, Manitoba in Canada." She straightened her spine, standing up at her full height. She continued to make eye contact with him, not daring to look away. She could not afford to show any weakness. Not now. Not when she was so near to leaving the country.

"Alright then, Tiffany Tiddles from Moose Jaw, Manitoba. If you are who you say you are, then you have no secrets. You have nothing to hide," the sergeant said simply.

"That's right, Sir. I have absolutely nothing to hide." Olivia took in a deep shaky breath. "As you can see, I have no where to hide anything anyway. That envelope is the only thing I have and you've already seen what's inside of there."

Sergeant Melnyk let out a skeptical grunt. He put her passport back into the envelope and placed it on the left hand corner of his desk. Then he closed his laptop and moved the computer to the far right side of his desk, clearing the center of the wooden surface.

He reached down, opened a drawer and pulled out a small rectangular cardboard box. At first Olivia thought that it might be a box of tissues. However, from looking at the picture on the side of the the box, she realized that it contained disposable latex gloves. Sergeant Melnyk also pulled a large clear plastic bag out of the drawer. He handed it over to Private Jovanovic. The younger officer pulled apart the top of the bag and shook it open.

"Wha ... wha ... what's happening?" Olivia looked at the sergeant with wide fearful eyes.

Sergeant Melnyk donned a pair of latex gloves. He also handed a pair to Private Jovanovic. Corporal Volkov was already wearing a pair, which he had been keeping in his pocket.

"I must admit that I owe my security officers an apology," Sergeant Melnyk conceded as he stood up from his seat. The two younger soldiers looked at Olivia and smiled smugly. "It turns out that their original concerns were justified. Miss Tiddles, I'm afraid that there are just too many suspicious inconsistencies regarding your identity and your story." He walked around to the front of his desk and stood directly before of her.

"Why? Because some random man, who I've never seen before, got my name wrong? Because a stranger thought I was American instead of Canadian?"

"Calm down," said Sergeant Melnyk as he placed his gloved hands on Olivia's shoulders. "Don't get upset. You're not in trouble ... yet. Just cooperate. If we don't find anything suspicious on you, then you will be free to go."

"NO!" Olivia protested. "This isn't fair! I haven't done anything wrong!"

"And we're trying to prove that you haven't don't anything wrong." Sergeant Melnyk's voice was so calm, it was almost patronizing. "Just let us do a quick search of your body and we can establish that you aren't up to anything illegal. Resisting will only cause you to miss your train. I had a look at your train ticket." He pointed at the envelope on his desk. "It's nonrefundable. As is your plane ticket. It would be a shame if you missed both your train and your flight, because you weren't willing to cooperate. If you don't comply with security procedures and you miss the Moscow Express, it's going to cost you a whole lot more money to get home."

"But I don't even have pockets on my clothes," Olivia said with exasperation. "I don't understand how I could hide anything! Even if I wanted to!"

Private Jovanovic and Corporal Volkov began snickering. Sergeant Melnyk tried his best not to smile. But he could not help but be amused by Olivia's ignorance and naivety. "Miss Tiddles, you don't need pockets on your clothing to hide things," he informed her with a poorly stifled laugh.

"Well, then where would I hide things?" she demanded to know. "In my underwear?"

"Yes," Sergeant Melnyk nodded. "Your underwear ... among other places. Now, let's not delay this any longer. You have a train to catch. Let's get through this search as swiftly and efficiently as possible."

"Fine," Olivia grumbled. She was absolutely livid. But she could not afford to miss her train or her flight.

"Good, I'm glad to see you're willing to work with us. Now, Miss Tiddles, please remove your blouse." The sergeant held out his hand.

Olivia's mouth dropped open. "What? Here? Now?"

"Yes," Sergeant Melnyk said coldly.

"In front of everyone?" Olivia gestured toward the various dozens of random people walking by and standing around in the train station. "Can't we go to another room where there's more privacy?"

"What do you mean, 'another room?'" asked Corporal Volkov.

Olivia quickly looked around the train station. Sure enough, there did not appear to be any separate rooms, partitioned off areas or private offices. The only doors were the main entrance and the door leading out to the platform.

"Can't I at least be searched by a female officer?" Olivia asked, already knowing what the answer would probably be.

"Here in Vulmonia, women don't join the military," Private Jovanovic informed her.

Typical, Olivia thought bitterly to herself. Of course there were no women in the Vulmonian military. It seemed that in Vulmonia, women were only considered useful for making babies and not much else. That was simply not a fate that Olivia was willing to settle for.

"Fine," Olivia said through gritted teeth. "Here, search my blouse!" She angrily unbuttoned her pale pink top. As her large swollen breasts, clad in her lacy white bra, came into view, a number of people walking by stopped and stared. She yanked the pink shirt off of her shoulders and grudgingly handed it to Sergeant Melnyk.

The sergeant studied it for a few moments and ran his fingers over it, making sure that there were no hidden pockets or secret compartments. He then passed the thin garment to Corporal Volkov who gave it the same treatment. When the corporal determined that there was nothing unusual about Olivia's blouse, he tossed it into the clear plastic bag, which was being held open by Private Jovanovic.

"See how quick that was?" said Sergeant Melnyk. "I told you this wouldn't take long." As he spoke, he stared directly at Olivia's cleavage.

"Please hurry," Olivia whispered as she glanced over at the group of onlookers, which was beginning to form only a few meters away. As Olivia stood in the middle of the train station, wearing nothing but her skirt, her sandals and her pushup bra, her entire face began to turn red. A man in a white T-shirt and khaki pants reached into his pocket, took out his smartphone and began to film her. Olivia wanted to complain, but she knew that it would be pointless. She tried her best to look away so that the man filming would not get a good shot of her face.

"Now your brassiere," Sergeant Melnyk said casually.

"What? No! I'm willing to strip down to my underwear. But I'm not going to expose any of my private parts in public!" Olivia said defiantly.

"Fine," said the sergeant. "In that case, you can miss your train and then miss your flight and not go home. And we'll still eventually end up stripping you anyway. So it'll all be for nothing."

"Uh!" Olivia grunted with disgust as she reached behind her back and undid the clasp on her bra. As she took it off, she tried her best to cover her large heavy breasts. She used her right hand to pass the undergarment to the sergeant. Her left hand and forearm were pressed firmly over her chest, hiding her nipples. More people walking through the station stopped and stared. Corporal Volkov and Private Javanovic both grinned from ear to ear.