As Samantha lay in her bed, her mind whirred with a wide array of thoughts and emotions, including panic, disgust, fear, anger, and betrayal. These feelings controlled her completely as she ran through the events that had just happened, her body aching and feeling nauseous from the violation that had just occurred. She started as soon as she heard the toilet flush and instinctively pulled the duvet up above her small breasts to cover her nudity and provide herself with protection.
As the object of her disgust entered the room, she was unable to even look directly at him as he returned from the bathroom. Laying down next to her in the bed, he didn't even look at her, instead starting to fiddle with a game on his phone.
It took time as she lay next to him, frothing with anger, but eventually she managed to find the courage and energy to speak.
"How... how could you?"
Laying next to her, playing on his phone, oblivious to Samantha's inner turmoil, Francis looked over briefly, distracted by the images flashing upon his screen.
"What'd you say?"
"How could you do that?" Samantha found the courage to keep going. "I asked you to stop, and you just..." Despite her discomfort, she couldn't bring herself to say the words, as that would make what had just happened real.
"Do what?" Francis barely paid any attention to what was being said as he focused on the screen directly before him.
She couldn't even bear to look at the person next to her. "You... carried on having sex with me, even when I asked you to stop."
"Oh, yeah, I suppose I did," he shrugged, his concentration remaining on the screen before him. "I was in mid-flow; I didn't really feel like I could stop."
Samantha stared at this man--no, this boy--lying next to her, unable to truly believe what he'd just said. At eighteen, Francis was Samantha's first boyfriend, and this was supposed to have been a magical time when she gave up her virginity to him. They'd both recently declared their love for each other over a romantic picnic in the park, with Francis coming up with the idea and organising it, setting up a blanket, and even having a rose in a heart-covered mug for her. He'd forgotten to take the price off the rose, and the mug also had a sticker showing he'd got it from a charity shop, but that wasn't the point. He'd made an effort. Well, she'd had to buy the food, but he'd tried, and as they were both students, it wasn't like either of them had a lot of money, so Samantha had been happy to pay her share.
"But I said stop!" Her eyes began to fill with tears. "What if I'd been in pain?"
He didn't even look at her. "Were you?"
Samantha was in disbelief at this callous lack of empathy. "No I wasn't but..."
Francis interrupted her. "There we go, so we're alright then."
"No we're not alright!" Seething, Samantha had to bite her tongue. "It doesn't matter why I asked you to stop, it's the fact I asked in the first place!"
"If you didn't want to have sex, you should have said something before you led me on." Francis frowned as the character died on his game.
"But I did want to have sex, up until I didn't! Am I not allowed to change my mind? Do I not have a choice?" It was like speaking to a child. What was it about this he wasn't getting?
Finally looking at her, the expression on Francis' face was one of disbelief. "What, so it's alright if you've had yours, but I don't get to have mine? Real nice."
Samantha couldn't hold back a snort of laughter. Have I had mine? Did I fuck? You're obviously not as good as you think you are."
"Why don't you fuck off, you absolute cunt?" Leaving Samantha shocked and afraid at this complete change in personality, Francis got up and began to look for his clothes. "If you're going to have buyer's remorse, I think it's best if I go."
Sammy said nothing, unable to believe that he'd called her a cunt; until now he'd been so romantic, so lovely. Now, with what he'd done, she couldn't believe he was somehow leaving on his terms.
"You raped me," she managed, with a quiver in her voice, and I think it's best if you never come back."
He shot her a look of contempt. "You're used goods now, love, so don't go thinking you're better than anyone else."
Samantha lay in bed until he left her room and couldn't bring herself to move until she heard the sound of her front door slamming shut behind him. 'A child, she thought. 'He acts exactly like a goddamn child. Except...'
She gently moved a hand under the sheets and felt herself, sore to the touch. She had a sense of relief at least that they'd used a condom, but she couldn't imagine that she'd ever feel good about herself again.
Chapter 2
Finishing up telling his story, Francis took a gulp of his cider and sat in the pub surrounded by his closest friends. "So, in the few days since we broke up, she's gone around telling everyone that she didn't want to do it, despite the fact that she initiated it." His friends shook their heads at how someone could be so petty.
"What a complete bitch!" Scott opined as Francis drained the last of his cider. Seeing this, George took drink orders and went up to the bar to get the next round. Two drinks in, Scott and Martin had paid for their rounds, leaving only George and Francis to get theirs.
"She's already told her parents about it, and they're talking about getting the police involved."
Scott scoffed. Yeah, right, they should bloody do them for wasting police time!"