It's finally starting to get to me. It being my strange obsession with the way he clicks his teeth when he speaks. I'm not sure if I like the sound or that I'm fixating on his mouth.
"Right, so the conjugated bounds encourages the hydrolysis. Very good."
Praise. Oh, I love praise. I soak it up like the sunshine I wish we were experiencing in this dreary part of the country. He continued to prattle on about reactivity with enols. Well spoken, well educated, excellent poise, unfolding sense of quiet authority . . ."Anyone else know what the pKa of this hydrogen would be?"
Don't know. Don't look up. Oooh, pretty eyes. . .dang it.
"Uhhhh...ten?"
"That's right." He continued on. Score another win. Touchdown. Victory dance. Click of the porcelain crown against enamel. I like nervous twitches. It always makes them seem more human, as if they have a chip in their professional armor. In this case, it was a hardly noticed idiosyncrasy that I bet drove his spouse nuts.
I find myself in his office a lot. I hate knowing the answer already but playing the idiot gives me more attention until I can murder the exam. I suppose it can be frustrating to wait patiently as he unravels the problem and figures it out in a triumphant smile while I wait with my fists secretly clenched around my pencil and eraser. His quiet sensibly always made me nervous from the moment I met him. But he reminded me so much of the man I left behind; but he wouldn't move across that line. Never. Right?
So, allow me to recap. If you haven't read my previous story then you wouldn't know the diatribe I gave about authority and my addiction to it. Do yourself a favor and read about biology before moving on to chemistry. Now, if you have read it, congratulations. You know how difficult it is for me not to squirm in class when I am once again confronted with an attractive teacher in control.
"I told you he's a sadist!" I joked after class once, oh so casually without realizing the true implications would shortly be revealed.
"He assigns us a shit-ton of homework and then makes a joke about unleashing our inner masochist for him." My classmate solemnly nodded his head with a small smile. I continued, unheeded. "I guess I can have some kind of crush on him now." I love to joke about blatant self-observations that are entirely unseen to others who don't know the secrets of 'Me'. When a double entendre is perfectly executed, I savor a thrill only shared with myself.
"Isn't he married?" My unwitting friend asked.
Never stopped me before. "I guess." I shrugged half heartily, dismissing the topic as quickly as it came up.
"Hulh. Well, I'm going to head on back. I'll talk to you later, okay?" I didn't think much of the afternoon other than noticing how the soft breeze was tossing up the remaining leaves and spraying vivid colors over the stone stairway. I had taken a break from the lab to go procure some bastardized coffee at the local Starbucks and happened to run into another student from my year. It was perfectly reasonable to find other overworked students around the watering hole during daylight hours.
I hummed to myself as I sipped my latte and pulled my tired frame up the stairs on campus. When was the last time I had a break? I was lost in thought and caught myself slamming into a solid object. Hot soy and caffeine spilled like liquid mana from the heavens, except it was not received with rejoicing. More like a howl as the cup dropped with a hollow tapping down the walkway.
"Auuugh!"
"...wow. Serves me right for not looking up. I'm really sorry."
Click. Well, shit.
