I am screwed. Literally. And I have no clue how to change it.
My name is Rita. I have been married to a sweet guy, Robert, for 21 years and have a daughter, Sarah who just turned 20. We own a nice 2 story home in Boise, Idaho.
My life with Bob was very happy in the first 12 years. We worked hard: He as an architect in a respectable firm, and I, as a nurse supervisor in the ICU in a local hospital. Together, we raised Sarah to be a good kid who did well in school and was now in college. Despite our busy lives, we were able to spend quality time together and even traveled at least twice a year outside Idaho.
Our sex life was initially excellent. We weren't what you'd call adventurous, but Bob and I knew how to satisfy each other, and most times, we ended with a satisfactory orgasm.
But then, certain things changed. It is difficult to put my hands on the cause, but we slowly drifted away from each other. I cannot blame Bob. He tried but became busier and was forced to spend more hours at work; I was promoted to a nurse supervisor with a busier schedule and had more driving-Sarah assignments. So gradually, our life turned to a routine married life with less traveling and less us-time. The work-related stress and less time together affected our sex life, and from the 2-3 times a week before, it was now once every week or two.
The routine life bothered me, especially when I was hearing the adventures and escapades of other nurses. Most of them were young and not married, and since I was able to form a good relationship with them, they considered me an older friend. As such, I was frequently hearing about their parties, getting drunk, multiple partners, and other bachelor life stories.
...
One day, a new doctor, Dr. Fred Nichols, was introduced to us. He was a 36 year old, and just moved to Idaho with his wife. He was immediately liked by everybody on the team. He was a handsome 6'0", 200 pounds guy with a charming demeanor who liked to laugh, never complained about our mistakes, and was always available.
Several nurses tried to catch his eyes and flirted with him, but he always jokingly reacted to them by saying he was devoted to his lovely wife. I liked him. A lot. I found him attractive, but I was realistic. I was married and had no chance of grabbing his attention against other much younger girls trotting before him.
Then, the case of Mr. S Johnson happened. Dr. Nichols wrote an order in his chart, and the nurse misunderstood it. She thought he typed something else. The patient died a day later. As per our practice, we looked in retrospect at his progress in the 48 hours that preceded his demise and found the mistake. The patient was an 89 year old who had multiple risk factors, including high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, and kidney failure. However, this mistake may have been the last straw that killed him. Nobody but we knew about it, and the family accepted his death as a blessing that his death was without long-suffering.
I sat with Dr. Nichols for about an hour, discussing the patient and what to do about the mistake. I said I had to report it. The doctor smiled and said, "Yes, you can and officially have to do it. The result will be disastrous for the good nurse and a bad name for our unit. Nobody will gain anything. It was an honest mistake. Did it cost the life of a very sick 89 year old? Maybe, but if I were you, I wouldn't report it."
I stared at him, "Are you suggesting I should lie and ignore a potential life-costing error?"
He glanced at me and continued smiling, "Yes, I do. Life is not easy or fair. In my opinion, we need to take life as is and adjust accordingly. It's almost like a chess game. We have to take into account the consequences of our doings. The patient died peacefully, and the family does not suspect there was something wrong involved in his death; nobody but our team knows about it. If we do not report it, everybody is contented. If the report becomes public, the nurse will be reprimanded, the reputation of the ICU shattered, and the family will find out and may sue everybody. Rita, I trust you do the right thing and will support your decision whether you agree with me or not."
I was thinking about what to do for 24 hours and finally concluded not to report it. It was an illegal and immoral decision, but I made up my mind to follow Dr. Nichols's advice.
The 2 of us met the next day. He called me to his office and, with his cute smile planted on his face, asked me, "So Rita, what did you do with Mr. Johnson's case?"
"I'll ignore it, but I feel terrible not to do the right thing."
"Listen, I know you. You are a wonderful nurse and always do your best. How do you feel about joining me at a coffee place? We'll chat about anything you want. We can talk again about the patient or happier subjects like traveling, hobbies, our dreams, etc."
I hesitated. I haven't been away with another man in many years. Dr. Nichols did not offer anything romantic, but it was a meeting outside work nonetheless. But I liked Dr. Nichols and said, "If it's close by and not too late, I'll go."
"Excellent. At what time do you finish today, and do you have to rush home, or can you spare an hour?"
"Not today. I have a staff meeting, and then I need to be at home,"
"OK. Can we do it on Wednesday or Thursday?"
"Thursday is better. If there is no unexpected emergency, I finish around 3:30. You are a busy physician. Will you be able to make it around 4 pm?"
He laughed, "Rita, yes. I'll make sure another physician is covering in case of urgent need, but I'll be at a place of your choice."
"There is a Starbucks 2 blocks away."
"I'll be there slightly before 4, waiting for you."
I grinned, "OK, doctor, see you there."
It was funny. Suddenly, my routine life changed. There was nothing to expect from his innocent invitation, but it made me think about my boring, nothing-ever-out-of-the-ordinary life. It was something different! I was to meet a man without telling my husband about it. And it was the handsome Dr. Nichols...
...
Thursday morning, I wore my usual hospital clothes but had an extra bag with my clothes after work. The whole day, I was anxious. I knew it was not a date, but I wanted to make an impression on the nice doctor. After all, there wasn't a real reason to have this meeting.
I finished as expected at 3:30 and went to my office to change my clothes. Unlike my usual jeans and a simple blouse, I had on a midi-style dress, a 2" heel shoes, and I even added a touch of lipstick. I checked myself in the mirror - Not bad for a 40 year old woman.
I took my time and arrived at Starbucks at 4:05. Dr. Nichols was sitting at a table for 2. When he saw me, he came toward me and extended his hand, "Rita, you look smashing. I always see you in your hospital attire and didn't notice how beautiful you look." I blushed and sat down.
I wanted a latte, and he went to order our drinks. When he left our table, I inspected him and concluded he was very good-looking, manly, and... with a good body.
He came back with our drinks and a couple of different cookies, "You asked for a latte, but after seeing your fantastic figure, I realized that, unlike my wife, you do not need to diet, so I brought something else too."
I chuckled, "Thank you. You are right; I do not diet, but I try to exercise routinely, and I was fortunate to have good genes."
"Do you have other activities you like? What about trips?"
"Dr. Nichols..."
He stopped me, and his warm hand touched mine, "Please, we are not at work. There is no need for formalities here. Dr. Nichols is a name I use with and around patients. I'd rather you use my first name, Fred. However, if you do not like it, just call me HRH."
"I never heard HRH before. What does it stand for?"
"His Royal Highness."
We both laughed.
"I'd love to go on trips, but these days, both my husband and I are too busy, and we barely have time to breathe."
"That is unacceptable. I've heard you have a 20 year old daughter in college. It means she is an adult and can take care of herself. So if not now, when are you going to have the time to do what you like? When you are 80?"
"I don't know, but I assumed certain sacrifices were expected in married life."
"So what do you do to have fun? You know what I mean, except work, eat, sleep, and do shopping?"
"Frankly, not much. As I mentioned, I exercise in my free time but not much more."
"Rita, I like you, so I'll tell you what I think. You are wasting your life. Life is short, and before you know it, you become too old and disabled. Why not enjoy more in life right now?"
"What are you saying?"
"Will you come with me to a movie of your choice?"
"Fred, I am flattered, but I don't see it as appropriate. Both of us are married, and going to a movie may raise eyebrows. I am sure you can find a more suitable person to go to a movie with. I am even older than you."
"Rita, it's not like you are 30 years older, and our age is irrelevant. My offer is genuine, and there is no plan for a hanky-panky. It's only a movie, so you can see there is life beyond your home and the hospital."
I smiled, "And what would I tell my husband? Shall I explain to him that a young, handsome doctor wanted me to go to the movies with him?"
"Since it's only a movie, I recommend you tell him you are going to a movie with a colleague from work. He is likely to assume it's a woman, but it's not a lie, and as I said before, there are no other immoral things attached. Look, you don't have to answer now. Think about it. If you are interested, let me know which movie you wish to see and the day that is convenient for you. If you don't want to join me in the theater, just don't bother returning back to me. I'll understand."
...
In the following 3 days I thought about his offer. Nobody at work guessed it but my mind was somewhere else much of the time. The nothing-interesting situation at home and the doctor's pleasant trial to improve my life pushed me to agree and go with him to the movies, yet being married to a good guy made me hesitate.
The last straw occurred on the third afternoon. I heard good reviews about Emma Stone's movie Poor Things and wanted to see it. When Bob came home from work, I served him dinner, and during the meal, I told him about my wish to see the movie.
He said, "Please honey, these days I am too tired to go to the movies, and such a weird movie will be torture for me. Can't you go with one of your friends?"
