I expected this to be a relaxing get-together with friends. Why do I feel so uncomfortable?
Is it Jake's masculine presence? Being in the same room with him and Jenna when there's some attraction there. They almost went on a date. Or, knowing Jake, worse...
Or could it be Allie? Whose eyes, even when smiling and laughing, pierce through my very soul? And the cherry on top? She knows my secret. And just minutes ago, she was rubbing my dick through my pants with her foot.
If everyone else is having fun, why am I not? Why can't I help but think back to yesterday? When things were so easy, and I was the most relaxed I've been since coming to this school. Why can't this be like that? What's wrong with me?
No. Enough being in your head. Be like Jake!
My eyes wander over to him, and I again analyze what makes him so different--his muscles, charisma, and enthusiasm. There's no way he's sitting there thinking about what a loser he is. No, that thought never crosses his mind, especially right now--reclined on his bed with a woman like Allie in his arms, already a beer in and starting to get crossfaded.
I look to Jenna, who is enraptured in a conversation I haven't been paying attention to in over a minute. She's so beautiful. Her brown hair frames her face and rests gently at the top of her shoulders, which is stunning. If I grew my hair out, maybe it'd be like that.
I look down at the drink in my hand and realize I've barely drunk any. I lift it to my lips and throw it back. This may be what I need to be like Jake.
"Woah, slow down there, lover boy," Allie snickers. "We have all night. And you don't look like the kind of boy who can hold his booze."
Jenna rests her hand on my lap. Jenna and I are seated mostly upright, unlike the two sitting across the dorm. Jake and Allie are intertwined, and we must look stiff in comparison. An outsider looking in would assume that Jake and Allie were the ones who were madly in love - but they aren't even official.
"Let him be," Jake says. "He's a big boy; he can make his own decisions. You want a hit, bro?" Jake offers me his blunt, and I am reminded of how much I coughed and struggled the last time I smoked.
"Actually, I brought some edibles," Jenna interjects. "Would you rather do that?" she asks with a smile.
Thank god. I don't want to make a fool of myself with the state I'm in right now. My nerves are killer, and getting high would definitely take the edge off. I pop one of the gummies she offers in my mouth, chew it quick, and swallow.
"Babe, those are pretty intense. Maybe you should've started with a half of one?"
"Sounds like lover boy's gonna have some fun tonight," Allie says.
That's the goal. Have fun until we can have the room to ourselves, or go back to Jenna's. Then we can finally fuck.
At that moment, I notice Allie's foot, propped in the air, one leg over the other, making small circles in the air. Then I see she's looking right at me with a smirk. It's like she's trying to remind me of what happened before Jake returned with the drinks.
"Ehm," I clear my throat and stand. "Anyone want another?" I say as I reach into the mini-fridge for another beer. Nobody responds, but I do hear a slight chuckle from Allie and Jake. I look down and realize I'm hard as a brick in my pants, and it's obvious despite my size. Another downside to not wearing any underwear, I suppose.
I try to shift it to a less obvious configuration, then sit back down.
The night goes on, and I feel more comfortable when the edible hits. By that point, everyone is feeling good. The evening fully sets in, and one lamp is all that is lighting our tiny dorm room. The atmosphere isn't exactly romantic, but the lighting at least makes it feel like it's not just a guy's dorm room.
As the conversation lulls, Jake grabs Allie, and they start making out. I can feel my dick twinge in my pants at the sight of such passion. A few beers in and hornier than ever, I find that I'm willing to match his display of romance. I put a hand behind Jenna around the small of her back, grabbing her waist. I pull her in and kiss her as passionately as I can.
She responds in kind, and feeling emboldened, I slide my tongue into her mouth. Her tongue meets mine, and they dance inside of her. I grab her waist tightly, then slide my hand under her shirt to her stomach. I'm fully wrapped around her, and I have never felt like such a man before.
Our kiss continues until she breaks away and starts dropping to her knees near the edge of my bed, directly between my legs. Her hands trace down to my pants, and she begins to undo them.
That confidence I had rushed out the door. It's one thing to make out in the same room as Jake, but it's another to have my cock out. My eyes dart across the room to find that Allie and Jake are too busy to notice what we're doing. Still clothed, Jake is on top and thrusting against Allie as they kiss. I watch as his hand pulls up her shirt, nearly revealing her breasts.
Jenna's hand meets my face. Gently, she guides my attention back to her. The look on her face says, "It's okay. Don't worry. I want this." I try to push my nerves away. My flaccid cock is freed from my pants, and Jenna begins to stroke it in her hand.
One hand is all it takes, even with her feminine hands. I throw my head back and enjoy the sensations of someone else's hands on my cock. Somehow, I'm not struggling. I was worried that, with how sexually frustrated I've been, I wouldn't be able to hold it in. But that doesn't seem to be an issue.
I look across the room again and find that Allie and Jake are in a similar situation. Allie is between Jake's muscular thighs, and the head of his huge cock is in her mouth.
I find myself again lamenting the difference in size between our cocks. I look down again to see if mine has gotten any bigger as it engorges. Oddly, though, it hasn't even begun to harden. I was so hard earlier. But now that it counts, I can't get it up? This has never happened before.
The panic sets in, and I think Jenna senses it, too. She takes the limp cock into her mouth and swirls her tongue around it, probably hoping that the warm wetness of her mouth will spark some life into it. Yet, it doesn't.
My nerves increase rapidly. I look at my roommate. He's fully hard. With one hand on the back of Allie's head and the other on a joint, he's having the time of his life. Jenna notices me looking towards them and turns to look. I see the edges of her cheek redden, even in the low light.
Is she impressed by the size of Jake's cock? Is she embarrassed about the situation we're in? Does she look down on me for my inability to perform? Why can't I be like Jake? Why is this so hard for me? My emotions swirl until, finally, I burst.
Literally.
I puke. I do my best to aim it away, but it mostly lands on Jenna. I hear gasps from across the room, and Jenna shrieks. I fucked up.
Jenna stumbles back and looks at me with disgust.
"Yoooo! What the fuck" I hear Jake say as Allie laughs.
Tears swell in my eyes, and I give in to my instincts to flee. I stumble to my feet and do my best to get my pants back on as I head toward the door, not bothering to close it behind me.
As I rapidly move down the hall, I realize I don't know what to do or where to go. I don't stop but glance behind me to see if anyone follows. Nobody. In fact, I see the door close.
I instinctively head to Cameron's room.
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To my surprise, Cameron isn't home. Layla answers the door.
"Look who's back. What, did your friends bail on you?" She chuckles, but the look on her face softens as she realizes my state. "Come in, sweetie."
She walks me into the room, sits me on Cameron's bed, and retrieves a water bottle. The room spins as she offers me the bottle before sitting beside me. I force myself to drink a portion of the bottle. I struggle to put the cap back on, so she takes the bottle from me and caps it herself, then coaxes me into lying down with my head on her lap, just as before.
"We don't have to talk about it. Just relax." She runs her fingers through my hair, and I feel calm for the first time today.
A few minutes pass before Cameron enters the room carrying a bag. For once he seems surprised - I've never seen him anything other than calm and in control of everything. The surprise fades from his face into something that seems more understanding.
He pulls some snacks out of the bag - most notably some popcorn, which he takes with him as he excuses himself from the room. I assume he's going to microwave it.
A few minutes after he leaves, Layla speaks gently, "Y'know, if you ask nicely, he probably won't mind if you stay here tonight. I know you know how to ask nicely."
I don't respond, and Cameron returns a few moments later with a freshly popped bag of popcorn.
"I have one rule if you want to be here," he states plainly, gesturing to the cage that once concealed my penis. "But you're welcome to stay. We're having a movie night. You like Marvel movies?"
I drunkenly push myself up and nod my head. From my seated position, he seems larger and more imposing than he ever has. But there's a comfort to knowing that I don't have to worry about making the right call or doing the right thing. He tells me what to do, and there is no room for error. I see the beauty in the trust that comes with that.
I look to Layla. My concern is evident on my face. I guess she isn't as indifferent as she seemed last night. I nod to her, and she smiles. We share no words, but she knows exactly what is happening.
She retrieves the device as Cameron loads up the movie. In a matter of moments, my cock is once again locked. I never even got off, let alone fuck Jenna. Yet, it's oddly comforting. Cameron smirks and we all pile into bed. I barely make it past the opening fanfare before I'm fast asleep, not in Layla's lap, but Cameron's.
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The following day I'm awoken by the straining of my cock against it's cage. Rather, that's the first thing I notice. In reality, I'm likely awake because of a hand teasing my nipple. I then feel a hardness pressed against my ass. Cameron is awake; and horny.
My mind processes yesterday's events but is quickly derailed by a burning need inside me. My body craves the pleasure it's been denied, and it leaves me not thinking clearly, even fully sober.
My ass grinds against his hard cock instinctively. I feel Cameron's hand grip my waist, and I feel small. I don't care what the consequences are. "I need it." Did I say that out loud?
Cameron moves me from my side to my back and climbs on top of me, between my legs. He kisses me passionately enough that I don't even notice that Layla isn't here. He humps into my bare groin. I become self-conscious as I realize I'm wearing nothing but a shirt. The thought doesn't last long, however. Cameron grabs my throat with his large, strong hands, not enough to choke, but enough to know that I have no power at this moment. I give in to the situation. My hands move on their own, caressing his solid back muscles. I'm enjoying this.
