'If you don't like living with me you can just fuck off.' Mike walked up to me and shoved me towards the door. I stumbled and nearly fell but managed to stay upright. He pushed me again and I lost my footing, crashing to the floor. He stood over me, eyes wide with fury.
How had we even got here? We were happy a couple of months ago. Never said a cross word to each other. It all seemed perfect. Until we moved from a 3 bedroom house to a poky 1 bedroom flat. That's when all the rows started. Little things at first. Stupid things that shouldn't have made a difference, but did. Like why wasn't his dinner ready when he got in from work? It didn't matter how many times I pointed out that he was home from work earlier than I was, I should have always had his dinner ready. I quit my job in the end. He wasn't happy with me working anyway, with other men where he couldn't keep an eye on me. Silly little rows over who's turn it was to go shopping, get the paper, things like that. I took it at first, just let it all wash over me. But soon I got tired of it, and started to stand up for myself. That's when all the trouble began. He didn't like me standing up for myself.
And I suppose that's how we got there. Me cowering on the floor, once again as I steeled myself for another beating. I went inside my head to my 'safe space', where I could pretend nothing was wrong and everything was all ok. I waited for a while, then cautiously came back to the real world. He was crashed out on the sofa, staring at the telly. I stood up and walked over to him. He kicked out at me lazily, but I knew he couldn't be bothered properly. I looked down at him and perched myself on the arm of the settee.
'Why are we fighting all the time? There's no point. We were happy once. Why can't we get back to that again. Come on baby. I miss the old you. All you do is work, lie around and have a go at me.'
'Well if you weren't so fucking useless, I wouldn't have to have a go at you would I?' He didn't even look away from the telly. That pissed me off. Reaching down, I grabbed his face and turned it to face me. He stared at me for a minute, before grabbing my hair and yanking my head down close to his.
'Touch me again, and I'll kill you. Got it?' I fought to keep my balance, and lost, toppling on top of him. Quick as a flash, he twisted my arm and yanked it up behind me. I winced but stayed quiet. I knew better than to shout out. He pulled my arm tighter, shifting me round so I was lying in front of him. I lay still, keeping my breathing shallow so I didn't piss him off. He glanced up at the clock and shoved me off the sofa. I lay there for a minute before sorting myself out and sitting up.
'Shop's going to be shut soon.'
'Point being?'
He sighed. 'My point is, we need some stuff. So fuck off and get it before you get what you really deserve.'
Pulling my jacket on, I zipped it up, yanked my hat on and flounced out the door. Just as I slammed it shut, I realised I needed him with me. I wasn't going to walk through the subway bit on my own. I didn't even like doing it on my own, never mind this late at night. Well fuck him. I'd walk across the green, down by the road. Serve him right if I got run over. Maybe then he'd actually be nice to me. I sighed, pulled my hat down even further and set off. It was only a 10 minute walk to the shop (not including trying to cross the road), but I still got nervous. We lived on a rough estate and you never knew who was waiting round the corner to stab you. I gingerly made my way across the green, taking care to avoid anywhere that the mud puddles looked deep. It was all the boy racers fault, pulling donuts on it, chewing up the grass, turning it into a swamp.
'Fucking twats, the lot of them. Wish they'd all just fuck off and die,' I muttered to myself about men in general. Coming down the other side of the green to the road, I stood at the side, shielding my eyes from the glare of the car headlights, waiting for a clear space to cross. I ignored a van pulling up- after all on the estate, you couldn't be too nosy. That's when bad things happened, when you knew something you weren't meant to. Best just to leave well alone. Only, I couldn't see the road properly now. I stepped out in front of the van to get a better view, just as the driver revved the engine and moved forwards. I jumped back, screaming abuse after him as he drove away.
'Fucking men. You're all cunts, the whole lot of you. Trying to fucking run me over! What the fuck are you playing at you twats!?'
The van squealed to a halt and started to reverse. I panicked. Darting forwards, I tried to find a gap in the traffic to dodge through. The van was still reversing towards me, speeding up. Shutting my eyes, standing there, clenching my fists, bracing myself for the impact, one clear thought came to me.
'I'm going to die. This is it, my life is over.'
The van slammed the anchors on and I heard the tyres squealing along with the sound of a back door being thrown open. I opened my eyes and saw 5 men standing there. I recognised one of them as being the barman in our local, another being his brother. The other 3, I didn't have a clue who they were. I sagged with relief and sat down on the kerb.
'Jon. You're a cunt. I should have known it would be you. What the fuck were you playing out, driving at me like that?'
He glared at me 'What the fuck were you doing standing in the middle of the road. I had right of way you stupid bitch.'
'You'd stopped. Totally. I thought I'd be okay to go. Live with it.' With that, I stood up and carried on watching the traffic, waiting for a gap. This was getting ridiculous. At this rate, I would never get to the shop! I was contemplating turning round, going home and telling Mike that they'd shut up early, when I felt hands round my waist. I turned round and saw Jon looming over me, pulling me to him.
'What the fuck are you doing? Let me go you twat!'
He pulled me closer and started dragging me towards the van. I struggled against him, kicking out. I swung my leg back to kick him again and someone grabbed it. I twisted round and saw Grant holding onto it tightly before reaching down to grab the other one. I lashed out and caught him in the face. Bringing his hand up to his lip, he pulled it away and saw blood. Leaning over me, he spat blood in my face. I turned my head to the side, coughing as some of it went down my throat. I looked at the cars driving past, wondering why none of them were stopping to help or phoning for the police at the very least. Until I remembered- the police never bothered coming to anyone on our estate, and you kept your nose out of other peoples business, no matter what was going on.
I kicked out even more, twisting and turning to get away, but it was no good, between the two of them, they quickly bundled me into the van, slamming the doors behind them as they climbed in. I lay on the floor, winded after being thrown in. as I got my breath back, I pulled myself up, taking in the surroundings. I was in a Transit van with 5 blokes, 2 of whom had completely lost their minds, and I had no heavy objects within easy reach to defend myself with. I felt around behind me, seeing if I'd missed anything, all the time keeping my eye on Jon and Grant. I suddenly felt something come round my neck from behind me. I grabbed it and squealed slightly as it dug into my flesh. I looked up to see one of the men from the front of the van looping more rope round my neck. As I fought to loosen it off he kept pulling tighter and tighter. My head span, my vision went blurry then black as I faded into darkness.
I woke up some time later, and tried to sit up. I was lying on my side, my arms tied behind me, my legs tied at the ankles. I tried talking before realising that my mouth was filled with what felt like a ball gag- I could feel the buckle digging into my head. I rolled over to a wall, and using it as a support, I sat up, taking stock of where I was. It was a fairly large room, with a few odds and sods, nothing that really caught my attention as being useful though. Could hardly see in the semi-darkness though. The tiny little window hardly let in any light at all and it was getting dark outside. Off the weak light from the window, I was something glinting. Shuffling over on my ass, I went to inspect it. It wasn't anything I could identify, but it was sharp. Scooting around so my back was to it, I tried something I've only ever seen in movies- rubbing my bonds up and down it in the hope that they would get cut. Half an hour later, I had to accept that it only worked in the movies, not in real life. Either that or I was doing it wrong. I heard to door squeak open and froze, like a rabbit caught in headlights. Jon looked round the room, searching for me. He spotted me and grinned. Walking over to me he grabbed me by my hair and dragged me into the middle of the room. I skidded along, trying to ease the pressure on my head.
After pulling me into the middle of the room, he let go of my hair and laughed softly as my head bounced off the concrete. I lay on my side, staring at the wall, listening to him walk away. After a few minutes I squirmed around, trying to sit up again. I soon gave up and lay still. I could hear Jon talking in a low voice to the other men. Footsteps rang out over the concrete as at least 2 of them came over to me. I was dragged into a sitting position and the room was suddenly flooded with light. I squeezed my eyes shut against the glare. My head was yanked back and I could feel the cold steel of a knife blade at my throat. My nostrils flared frantically as I tried to breathe through my panic. Opening my eyes, I stared up at Jon who grinned at me.