'If you don't like living with me you can just fuck off.' Mike walked up to me and shoved me towards the door. I stumbled and nearly fell but managed to stay upright. He pushed me again and I lost my footing, crashing to the floor. He stood over me, eyes wide with fury.
How had we even got here? We were happy a couple of months ago. Never said a cross word to each other. It all seemed perfect. Until we moved from a 3 bedroom house to a poky 1 bedroom flat. That's when all the rows started. Little things at first. Stupid things that shouldn't have made a difference, but did. Like why wasn't his dinner ready when he got in from work? It didn't matter how many times I pointed out that he was home from work earlier than I was, I should have always had his dinner ready. I quit my job in the end. He wasn't happy with me working anyway, with other men where he couldn't keep an eye on me. Silly little rows over who's turn it was to go shopping, get the paper, things like that. I took it at first, just let it all wash over me. But soon I got tired of it, and started to stand up for myself. That's when all the trouble began. He didn't like me standing up for myself.
And I suppose that's how we got there. Me cowering on the floor, once again as I steeled myself for another beating. I went inside my head to my 'safe space', where I could pretend nothing was wrong and everything was all ok. I waited for a while, then cautiously came back to the real world. He was crashed out on the sofa, staring at the telly. I stood up and walked over to him. He kicked out at me lazily, but I knew he couldn't be bothered properly. I looked down at him and perched myself on the arm of the settee.
'Why are we fighting all the time? There's no point. We were happy once. Why can't we get back to that again. Come on baby. I miss the old you. All you do is work, lie around and have a go at me.'
'Well if you weren't so fucking useless, I wouldn't have to have a go at you would I?' He didn't even look away from the telly. That pissed me off. Reaching down, I grabbed his face and turned it to face me. He stared at me for a minute, before grabbing my hair and yanking my head down close to his.
'Touch me again, and I'll kill you. Got it?' I fought to keep my balance, and lost, toppling on top of him. Quick as a flash, he twisted my arm and yanked it up behind me. I winced but stayed quiet. I knew better than to shout out. He pulled my arm tighter, shifting me round so I was lying in front of him. I lay still, keeping my breathing shallow so I didn't piss him off. He glanced up at the clock and shoved me off the sofa. I lay there for a minute before sorting myself out and sitting up.
'Shop's going to be shut soon.'
'Point being?'
He sighed. 'My point is, we need some stuff. So fuck off and get it before you get what you really deserve.'
Pulling my jacket on, I zipped it up, yanked my hat on and flounced out the door. Just as I slammed it shut, I realised I needed him with me. I wasn't going to walk through the subway bit on my own. I didn't even like doing it on my own, never mind this late at night. Well fuck him. I'd walk across the green, down by the road. Serve him right if I got run over. Maybe then he'd actually be nice to me. I sighed, pulled my hat down even further and set off. It was only a 10 minute walk to the shop (not including trying to cross the road), but I still got nervous. We lived on a rough estate and you never knew who was waiting round the corner to stab you. I gingerly made my way across the green, taking care to avoid anywhere that the mud puddles looked deep. It was all the boy racers fault, pulling donuts on it, chewing up the grass, turning it into a swamp.
'Fucking twats, the lot of them. Wish they'd all just fuck off and die,' I muttered to myself about men in general. Coming down the other side of the green to the road, I stood at the side, shielding my eyes from the glare of the car headlights, waiting for a clear space to cross. I ignored a van pulling up- after all on the estate, you couldn't be too nosy. That's when bad things happened, when you knew something you weren't meant to. Best just to leave well alone. Only, I couldn't see the road properly now. I stepped out in front of the van to get a better view, just as the driver revved the engine and moved forwards. I jumped back, screaming abuse after him as he drove away.
'Fucking men. You're all cunts, the whole lot of you. Trying to fucking run me over! What the fuck are you playing at you twats!?'
The van squealed to a halt and started to reverse. I panicked. Darting forwards, I tried to find a gap in the traffic to dodge through. The van was still reversing towards me, speeding up. Shutting my eyes, standing there, clenching my fists, bracing myself for the impact, one clear thought came to me.
'I'm going to die. This is it, my life is over.'
The van slammed the anchors on and I heard the tyres squealing along with the sound of a back door being thrown open. I opened my eyes and saw 5 men standing there. I recognised one of them as being the barman in our local, another being his brother. The other 3, I didn't have a clue who they were. I sagged with relief and sat down on the kerb.