The cab pulled up to the curb in front of my office building, a skyscraper in the middle of the financial district. For the last five years, I had worked for a large sales company as a mid-level associate and sold security software. Or tried to sell at least. As with everything else in my life, I was never motivated enough to put in a full effort, just enough to get by. But what my job lacked in motivation or excitement, it made up for with loads of downtime.
I stepped out the cab, paid the driver and stared up at the building, my stomach doing flips. It was 7:35 on an October night and cold. I did poorly in cold weather and yearned for the warmth of the lobby in front of me, but I didn't go in. Instead, I walked over to a nearby planter on the edge of the sidewalk and lit a cigarette, reflecting on my last few months.
I was always content to take home my commission check and live relatively comfortably in my one bedroom apartment. I had no aspirations. I didn't want power or status, I only wanted to please those whom I answered too, in order to get paid, so I could spend my free time however I wanted.
My free time was always the most important thing to me, and the hobbies I chose to spend that time doing were what truly made me feel alive, securing my sanity in a way no career ever could. I had, of course, always been able to hold down a normal job throughout my adult life, but always needed to balance that normalcy with extracurriculars.
Most of the time, I chose to act that urge out through petty crime. Everything from gum and candy when I when was a child, to my college years selling weed, making fake ids, supplying kegs for parties, etcetera. Really anything that required some danger, but never enough to really make the stakes high. Years of consuming Hollywood's interpretation of crime and punishment had made prison a serious phobia of mine, so I was always careful to keep things small. There was never a drive to turn criminality into a sustainable source of income, I just needed some sort of adrenaline rush and abnormality in my life.
A Mercedes pulled slowly past me before driving a little ways further down and pulling into the building parking lot. My phone read 7:40. I dragged my cigarette and continued spacing out.
Currently it was stimulants. An old college friend had visited a few months ago and during a particularly drunken night revealed he had a line on some (A LOT as it were) and forced me to accept three bottles free of charge. I didn't particularly enjoy stimulants, but ever since I graduated, my opportunities for 'side work' were few and far between and I had grown tedious of my day to day. I couldn't help myself and decided to head down to the local community college to see what I could get for them, which I continued to do after I let my friend know how fast they went and how much I enjoyed the break in the monotony of my average day.
However, I hadn't anticipated my ensuing popularity and two months later I found myself with too much cash on hand and a ballooning customer base. I had never known what to do with all the extra income. I didn't have a consistent social life, no hobbies that required extra money and nothing I was driven to buy, but I was feeling confident and wanted to do something a little more fun and a little more dangerous. Dealing pills to college students was enjoyable and all, but as I grew older I started to notice the thrill of selling stimulated me less and less, in the same way that the more of a drug you take, the less it affects you. I needed something fresh.
I had heard about a promotion at work through a company email and thought this extra money presented a fun opportunity to boost my sales number and snake my way into corporate. A 'make your own hours' job sounded like a fun goal to strive for. I looked at the email and shrugged my shoulders. "Sure why not," I remember thinking to myself.
So I purchased some of our company software from a few dummy email accounts, wrote up a couple of fake sales receipts and in three months rose to the top of the sales floor. I was garnering interest for the promotion and enjoying the unearned praises of my peers, all while silently laughing to myself, feeding off of the energy that doing something morally questionable gave me.
And then, last Friday, Kevin called me into his office.
Kevin was a partial owner who had taken over for his father about a year ago. Nobody saw much of him but everyone knew he was well built and good looking with an intimidating presence about him whenever he made himself visible. He seemed to take the divide between corporate and associate quite seriously as nobody I can recall ever seemed to have a friendly or cordial interaction with him. But nothing seemed special about him, he was just another hedge fund prick as far as I was concerned.
Nobody enjoyed being called into his office, but with my recent "performance" I figured it could only be good news. "Easy street here I come," I thought to myself on the elevator ride up.
I strode confidently into his corner office on the 82nd floor, the north and east walls made of glass windows, opening up a stunning view of the skyline. I took a moment to admire the view before turning my attention to his desk and noticing a bottle of pills sitting in the center. My heart dropped into my stomach and I froze.
"Care to explain?" he said looking up from some forms he was reading, motioning to a chair in front of his desk. I could feel myself starting to sweat but I walked forward and sat down slowly, trying to come up with any excuse I could think of. I didn't know how much he knew and felt it best to keep the truth to myself for the time being.
"I... well actually it's interesting, my grandmothe-," I tried to explain but was immediately cut off.
"Don't even try. I've had a private investigator following you for a month now," he said, nonchalantly shutting down my lie before I could even begin. "You don't really think a nobody sales associate suddenly breaking sales records, with a promotion in the works, would really go unnoticed did you? How stupid are you?"
I bristled at his tone but pushed my anger aside, his question a legitimate one. I was so wrapped up in how easy it was to fool everyone, I hadn't realized how far I was taking things. Breaking sales records was definitely not part of my plan and it was embarrassingly stupid of me to let my fake sales get to that point.
"Okay," I began with a defeated sigh, "So my sales numbers aren't exactly legitimate which you seem to know already," I confessed. "I guess this means I'm fired so if you want me to collect my things I'll do that right now and be out of here before lunch. I'm very sorry Kevin," I said as I scrambled to leave before he could respond. I half jogged to the door hoping to escape before he decided to get the authorities involved, thinking if I ran out of the building fast enough this would all go away. I threw open the door only to find a security guard on the other side, blocking the entire frame.
"Where do you think you're going?" Kevin asked from behind me. The security guard pushed my shoulder to back me into the room while he reached in and closed the door. I hung my head and slowly waked back to his desk, slumping in the chair.