I Love Red

I screamed and scrambled to turn my lights on. Richard lay on my couch in a relaxed position.

"Richard? What are you doing here?"

He didn't respond. He just stared at me as I tried to slow my racing heart. He continued to stare at me with a blank look in his eyes. I felt a prickle of sweat on the back of my neck. We stared at each other for what felt like an hour but it was only two minutes when I decided to take my shoes off and head to the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Richard finally asked. I paused, caught off guard by his voice.

"To the bathroom?" I responded.

"I asked you a question," he started. "Did you have a good night out?"

"Yeah, I did. Thanks for asking. You could've been there you know," I said in annoyance.

"Why would I come out with you and friends just to be embarrassed by your behavior?" he asked. I was confused. What did he mean?

"My behavior? What

behavior

?" I asked incredulously.

"The drinking and 'dancing'. Ratchet

bitch

behavior," he spat at me, sitting up on the couch.

I stomped over to stand in front of him. "What the fuck is your problem?" I asked in shock. "You were the one who didn't show up to my birthday party. You know? Me? Your fucking girlfriend!" I yelled. I wasn't sure why he was so mad about me going to a

club

and having a good time!

Richard jumped up from the couch, angry and invading my space. "Yes! You're my fucking girlfriend and I think I have the authority to tell you when your behavior is embarrassing me and my image! Do you think shaking your ass and looking like a

slut

would make me proud?"

"A slut? So I'm a slut for choosing an outfit that makes me feel sexy and confident? As I said, you chose not to come to the party that my friends threw for me! You decided to ignore me for the last couple of days and fucking forget my birthday! You decided to make my birthday about you, as you always do!" I threw my hands up. "What the fuck is your problem Richard? Are you mad I had fun without you? Mad that I decided not to blow your phone up asking where you were and if you were okay? Did it make you mad that I didn't give a fuck!" I finished, huffing in anger. He had officially killed my buzz from my night. "You know what, you can leave, now!" I stomped over to the door, getting ready to open it and show him out when he said,

"Oh, you want me to leave, huh? So your boyfriend Caleb could come over and fuck you?" He calmly asked.

I turned to look at where he stood. "What?" I questioned.

He slowly walked towards me. "You heard me. You want me to leave so you can call that fucker and have him fuck you in our bed. You want him to eat your pussy and make you cum, yeah?"

"Richard, what the fuck are you talking about? You need to leave."

"He must be around the corner, huh? You want me to leave so bad. You've never kicked me out after a long night. So, why start now? You must have him sitting in the parking lot," Richard replied. I had never seen him so calmly angry.

"You have the wrong idea about Caleb," I said.

"The wrong idea?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. He pulled out his phone and began to thumb through it. "So, this isn't you two 'dancing' at Zone 8?" Richard showed me his screen, and, there we were. There were several pictures of Caleb and me in Zone 8 after the bathroom. Several pictures of us grinding on each other, eye fucking each other. More pictures of Caleb caressing my face and holding me close. My face fell and a cold sweat broke out on my forehead. I could feel my eyes bulging in shock. I heard Richard snicker.

"Yeah. I thought those would help you understand what I was talking about."

I didn't respond. "Oh, so you have nothing to say now?" he asked, waving the phone in my face. "You didn't think I would find out? I knew there'd been something on between you two! I knew y'all have been fucking behind my back! Did you think I was too stupid to notice something between you two? I noticed the looks and glances! I noticed how anytime he was around, you would start to blush and get flustered; how he would always do something to be near you and help you out! I'm not fucking stupid, Gem!" Richard was livid. I was afraid to look him in the eyes. I couldn't look him in the eyes. I started to tremble.

"Nothing to say, huh?" he asked.

I took a deep breath before saying, "No, Richard. Nothing is going on between me and Caleb. I swear! Tonight was a one-time thing! I was drunk and lonely and sad because you didn't come! I missed you!" I said as I reached out to him. I was crying and shaking. He yanked back from me. I felt terrible.

"So you want to touch me when you were touching all over

him

?"

"I'm sorry, Richard! I promise it won't happen again. I don't feel for him the way I feel for you. I love

you

!" I exclaimed, but it didn't feel right to say. I knew I was only telling a half-truth. He had continued to avoid my touch. He started to move towards my bedroom without responding. I chased after him.

"Richard!" I called his name over and over as I followed him down the hall. He stopped at the door to my bedroom and I ran into his back.

"You love me?" he asked with a weird look in his eyes.

"Yes, I do," I said, anxious tears streaming down my cheeks. I was a mess. My dress was askew, my braids had tumbled from the bun I put them in, I had a layer of sticky sweat on me, and I was in desperate need of a shower. Richard turned slowly turned around. He had a sinister look in his eyes. I stepped back in fear. He stepped forward and grabbed me by my upper arms. I flinched at the pressure.

"Then, prove it," he stated.

"What?" I asked.

"Prove it," he said smirking at my discomfort as he squeezed my arms harder.

I scrunched my eyebrows, still confused.

"You're gonna get on your knees and suck my cock. Then, your gonna let me fuck right here," he said as if he were discussing the weather.

"But, I'm gross and stinky," I replied in a small voice. "Don't you want to come shower with me and we can get things started there?" I pleaded. Richard stared down at me. I had never been so afraid of a man in my life. I did not feel like he wanted to make love to me. I felt he wanted to do this so he could retake his possession of me.

"No, you're going to do what I say," he said flatly.

"But, but, but, " I stuttered. I never stuttered.

"If you want to shower so bad, I can only assume you want to wash the

stench

of you're boy off of you. I can only assume that you

fucked

him in that club," he nastily said.

"I didn't fu-," I began, but Richard cut me off. "Then suck my dick," he demanded.

We stood in heavy silence. My mind was racing. How did he find out about Caleb and me? Who took those pictures and how did I not notice? Why did he want me to prove my love for him in such a humiliating way? I never had a problem giving him head. Actually, most of the head-giving came from me. After the first time, he greatly decreased giving me oral sex and it was reserved for 'special occasions'. So, why was he forcing me to do this?

I made my decision. I slowly sank to my knees. He grinned in disgusting satisfaction. I untied the string on his grey sweatpants and pulled them down with his underwear. He pulled off his shirt and I saw him fling it somewhere behind me. I wanted to get it over with, so I immediately sucked his penis into my mouth. Richard moaned at the sudden feeling of warmth. I quickly bobbed my head over his shaft, massaging his ball sac. I pulled his cock out of my mouth with a pop and spit on my hands. I began to lick and suck on his balls while I furiously pumped his shaft.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Richard exclaimed. "That's it. Suck my cock, bitch!"

I tried to ignore his words and force him to orgasm faster. I went back to his cock, sucking the tip with as much suction as I could muster. He grabbed my braids and forced my head down over his cock. I choked at the sudden intrusion in my throat. Then, he began to fuck my mouth in earnest. I could hear him moan over my head as he thrust harder into my throat. I had to put my hands down to steady myself as he took over.

I should note that I am not a delicate flower. I am a woman who likes some roughness during sex from time to time, a little manhandling. But, this was beyond the boundaries I established. He was degrading me. He was taking nonconsensual pleasure in my pain and reveling in the fact that I loved him and wanted to prove myself.

I could feel Richard's cock throb at the back of my throat. His precum mixed with the saliva, snot, and tears that dripped down my chin. His thrust became hard and choppy and I was getting lightheaded. He slowed down and I screamed in my head. I was hoping he would cum in my mouth so I wouldn't have to fuck him. Thankfully, he sped back up and started to grunt and pant. His grasp on my braids painfully tightened as he started to pulse, orgasming down my throat, forcing me to swallow everything as I coughed for air.

He pulled out of my mouth after he had softened. A trail of cum between my lips and the tip of his dick. "Fuck yeah, baby. That was easily the best head you've ever given me," he said. I looked up at him. His chest was wet with sweat and heaving with exertion. I was disgusted with him. I felt disgusting and defiled. I silently cried as he caught his breath.

"Get that fat ass up in the air," he commanded. I shook my head.

"Richard, let me take a shower and we can go to the couch, please, " I begged him, still on my knees.

"No, Gem. You said you would prove it to me. And you're doing such a great job doing it," he said with a sinister smile. I sniffled as I turned around and pulled my panties off. Much to my chagrin, I was a little wet from his ministrations. But, no amount of arousal could keep the tears at bay. He dropped to his knees behind me and started to finger me. I was dry and it began to hurt. He grunted in frustration and spat on his fingers and my pussy before continuing. That did it and I burst into a fit of tears.

"Richard, baby, I can't do it. Please, we can have sex tomorrow. I just can't do this right now," I whimpered. He ignored me and my sobs increased in volume. I began to tremble in my position on the floor. My tears created a small puddle beneath me. He tried to push the tip of his cock in, but I was not wet enough. My lips wouldn't even part. Richard continued to try to get me wet, rubbing my clit and spanking me, but it wasn't enough. I was in too much emotional turmoil to produce an ounce of wetness. I cried into the floor, trying to use my arm to stifle the sound. Finally, Richard became too frustrated to try anymore. He pushed himself up with my ass which caused me to lose balance and my legs slipped out from under me.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed. "You keep fucking crying! God, stop fucking crying! You're the one who cheated on me!"

"I didn't fuck him, Richard!" I sobbed from my position on the floor. I was too weak and tired to stand up.

"You know what? Fuck it. I got mine," he said. Then, he quickly dressed before stepping over me and leaving, slamming the door behind him.

I cried with relief. I couldn't believe Richard would stoop that low. I felt like scum. I felt like I had been betrayed. I was heartbroken. I didn't know who to tell. I couldn't tell Lilith. She would tell me to go to the police. But, I couldn't. I did consent to it. The rest of the girls would say the same thing and hunt him down. And, I for damn sure couldn't tell Caleb. I didn't think of Caleb as a violent person, but I did not know what he was capable of.

I pulled myself off the floor and ran to the front door, locking it and pulling a chair under the door handle. I made sure my front windows were locked as well. I stumbled to the bathroom. I turned the shower on as hot as I could get it and stripped my clothes off, throwing them in the trash. I stepped in and immediately slid down the wall. The water rained over my chest and knees as I rocked myself. I sat on the shower floor and bathed, too weak to do much else. I brushed my teeth and put on moisturizer, but skipped the rest of my routine.

I dressed in my typical pajamas and shut my door, locking that too. I texted my birthday group chat, thanking them for the night and telling them how much I loved them. It was 4 am, so I knew no one was going to respond.

I pulled my sheets tight around me and curled into a ball. Oddly, I was thankful Richard and I never had sex in my bed. It left this sacred place, untainted. More tears leaked from my eyes. I wanted to text Caleb and tell him what happened. I wanted to hunt Richard down and kill him. I hated myself for giving in to him. I hated Richard. I felt a blood lust. I wanted vengeance. I wanted to just go to sleep. I took a melatonin to really knock me out. I hoped I wouldn't wake up...for a while.