I needed a new pair of trousers and shirt, but being without a job I headed to the local town centre to look around the charity shops. Since leaving College times were hard and after the family moved up the other end of the country, I didn't want to follow them. It would have been a personal moral defeat, so I fought on.
At the third charity shop I was looking along the men's clothes rail when a lady in her sixties who was volunteering there walked past me. I caught her perfume and it was lovely, so I looked round to see her. I gazed at the back of her, enjoying the perfume. Suddenly she looked round and caught me looking at her with a silly expression on my face. She smiled...
"Can I help you dear?" She asked politely.
"N..no, it's ok thanks." I replied and went back to the rail of clothing.
I found a pair of trousers that looked good and was in my size, then spotted a shirt that style wise was fairly up to date and the right size.
In the corner was a changing room with a curtain across the front. I asked a lady who was standing behind the counter if I could try on what I was holding and she nodded.
Slipping into the generous sized changing room, I pulled the curtain across. Bloody thing wasn't wide enough, so there would be a one inch gap either side. Luckily the shop was empty so carried on and got undressed.
The trousers were fine around the waist but too short and the shirt must have had the wrong label in as it was way too small.
After taking to two items off and hanging them up, standing there in just my underwear, I heard a mumble from outside and the curtain suddenly swished open by the lady with the great perfume.
"I just wanted to see if you needed a hand dear, but you didn't answer." She said.
I just looked at her. Deep red short hair. Deep brown eyes. Fire red lipstick. A slim medium length black dress showing her small waist. Fire red nail varnish and finished off with red shoes.
"Is everything ok dear?" She enquired.
"Erm, yes, er, no. The trousers and shirt are not quite right." I replied.
"Well, let us see if we can fix that." She took the clothes from my hands and hung them on the hangers and back to the rails. I didn't move a stitch. Standing there in my underwear with the curtain wide open.
"What about this shirt dear." The lady shouted across the shop.
I didn't know what to do as I was just standing there in my pants and socks.
"There isn't anyone in the shop, just come over here and have a look."
"I sheepishly looked around the shop expecting to see dozens of people looking at my half naked body, but there was no one. So carefully, I stepped across the shop as if there were an imaginary minefield. Standing next to the lady, her perfume just intoxicating, she held up shirt after shirt against my chest, saying no to herself for all of them. Either the size, design or colour was wrong.
"Well let's try trousers and see if we have any better luck." She quipped.
The rail for the trousers was nearer the front door, so I was more nervous than ever. Soon though I was trying on trousers in the middle of the shop that the lady had found for me. Only one pair was close, but they were just a little tight around the groin. We carried on along the rail.
What I hadn't noticed though was that a customer had come into the shop. It was a lady in her 80s and she took absolutely no notice of me. My heart was still racing though.
The lady helping me, then darted off for a minute saying "Carry on having a look dear. I just need to..."
I didn't catch what she said at the end, but I did as I was told and tried on about eight more pairs of trousers before she returned.
She said "I hope you don't mind dear. The lady wanted to try on a dress, so I have put your clothes out in the back office. They are safe there."
Just then the other volunteer lady who had been behind the counter headed for the door saying "Janice, I am just off to the bank. I will be back in forty minutes."
Janice stayed with me suggesting trousers and just gave an "ok!" to the other lady.
Soon though we had reached the end of the rail. Only one pair had got close to being right but were a fraction tight.
We headed to the back of the shop where the office was, only to find the door locked.
"Oh blow." Janice said. "Doris must have taken the key with her to the bank."
Standing there in just my pants in the shop, I looked at the changing room and the old lady was still in there.
My heart rate went up when two more retired ladies came into the shop to have a browse round. Another lady came in and then two more. My heart was pounding.
Janice said "Go and see if there are any shorts that will fit you." I raced back over to the men's rails and sifted through the short. Was every bloke in this town a damned skinny midget! Nothing, I found nothing.