My name is Morgan. Right now I'm feeling edgy, both anticipating and dreading the coming evening. Ever since my parents had moved to this area I've been feeling like an outsider, and today's my chance to make up for this.
Ever since I arrived I've noticed that I always seem to be the only one who walked around alone. All the other girls went in groups, cold-shouldering me if I approach.
It wasn't that they were gangs, of course, just girls with common interests. That's all. But I've been on the outside, looking in and feeling, well, not lonely, exactly, but sort of, Ok, lonely. I'll admit it.
What was worse than the loneliness was the gangs of boys. They wanted to be friendly. Too friendly, thank you very much. They'd trail me. Quite frankly some of them would give me the screaming Mimi's. I guess you could say I'm rather nervous where the male sex is concerned, and I've reason to be. There was a very nasty episode back in the old town and I've no intention of finding myself in that sort of situation again. I'll just steer clear of men and their weird desires.
Mind you, I have to admit that that man who'd bumped into me at the mall had seemed nice but. . . He was still male and therefore automatically on the scary list. I brushed him off real quick. I've seen him a few times since then and when I do he always seemed to be looking at me and smiling. At times, I've wondered who he was, but then, I don't really care and I forget about him. He's male and male means nasty in my books.
I final got a break the other day. One of the girls from a group, Marie by name, invited me to join them for a chat. I got on quite well with her and the other girls all seem quite nice. They say I can hook up with their group as a permanent member but I have to go through their standard initiation first.
That's why I'm so edgy. I'm heading for the initiation now and I have no idea what is going to happen. Apparently there's a clubhouse where all the girls regularly meet.
If the group was younger I'd call it a gang, but at our age that's ridiculous. I mean, we're all young adults. We're too old to be considered a gang just because we hang out together.
Oh, god. There's the house. Marie is hanging outside waiting for me with a big smirk on her face.
"Come on in, Morgan," called Marie. "Everyone is here and waiting."
My first surprise came when we entered the house and I found not only the girls but half a dozen young men there as well. Including HIM. I had this uneasy feeling that I'd been set up, especially when the introductions were made. HE turned out to be Joshua, call me Josh, and Marie's brother.
Things went from bad to worse very rapidly. They told me that for my initiation I had to show I was a good sport and screw one of the young men. By a wild coincidence, Josh was the lucky nominee. Try and tell me he hadn't set the whole thing up.
Before I could gather my wits and get the hell out of there I found myself ushered into a bedroom with Josh. He calmly locked the door and turned to me, a smirk plastered all over his handsome face.
I explained things to Josh quietly and calmly.
"Josh," I said. "I am not going to have sex with you. I don't want to and you can't actually make me. Now please open the door so I can leave."
"Can't do that, sweetheart," Josh said. "If I let you out the door unscrewed the other boys will reckon I've struck out and that you're now fair game for them to grab. The only reason some of them haven't already grabbed you off the street is because I warned them off.
I'm afraid for your own protection I'm just going to have to take you to bed."
Take me to bed for my own protection. That was a new one to me but I still wasn't having a bar of it.
"It's not on, Josh," I told him, and perhaps my voice was quavering a little now. I was feeling really scared.
"I have no intentions of having sex with you, your friends or any other man, ever. If you won't unlock the door I'll go out the window. I'm not staying here to be assaulted."
"Sorry, love, but you'll find the window is sealed. This is not a really safe neighbourhood and we have to take precautions. Are you a virgin? At your age? I have to say it surprises me."
"No, I'm not a virgin. I was raped a year ago by my cousin and it hurt and it was horrible and I'm not having sex with you," I told him. "You're a man and that's all you think of and you think we should be grateful for attentions but as far as I'm concerned you can just piss off and leave me alone."
If I hadn't been so aware of all the other people in the next room I probably would have been screaming at him. As it was I was doing my best to scream quietly at him. I could see the affect my explanation had on him. None.
Well, maybe some. He seemed quite pissed off with my cousin and offered to beat him up if he ever came around. While in favour of the beating up I was still not in favour of dropping my panties and letting Josh have his fun. It was a case of thanks, but no thanks.
The trouble was that Josh was bound and determined to take me to bed. I argued and he either countered my arguments or ignored them. He said he understood where I was coming from but it was time I got past it.
I said I had no intention of getting past it for the immediate future or even for the long term future. Josh said I was being a baby, which naturally endeared him to me no end.
He finally told me that my arguments were silly and irrelevant.
Now it seemed to me that Josh was intending to have sex with me whether I agreed or not. In my books, that's rape and I felt entitled to defend myself. So I picked up the lamp on the table next to the bed and hit him with it.
That was the theory, anyway. The practice was that Josh caught the lamp before it connected and took it off me. At the same time he sat on the bed and pulled me across his lap. The next thing I knew he'd just simple grabbed my pants and panties and pulled them off. I mean, he just hooked his hand into the waist line and yanked them right off me, tossing them to the side.
He followed up that callous disregard for my feelings and clothes by grabbing my top and ripping that up and off. He even paused for a moment pulling it off me to ensure that he caught hold of my bra.
In just two abrupt moves the son-of-a-bitch had stripped me naked. He pushed me down onto the bed and his own trousers came off just as fast as when he stripped me. Then he was on the bed, one leg forcing mine apart, and lying on top of me.
