Note:
This is a fictional non-consent story. Non-consent is binary. There is no such thing as one story being more "non-consenty" than another. The best way to not be angry about a non-consent story is to not read a non-consent story.
I would like to become a good writer, but I have writer's block. These stories are my attempts to get better, while my writer's block resolves itself. LITERALLY any critical feedback is appreciated. The sooner I achieve ego death about my stuff, the sooner I become a better writer. Also, sorry about the tense shifts in part 1 and the wait for part 2.
...
Emily pretended to be asleep, though neither Katie nor Jessica were awake to suspect otherwise. Every passing minute was misery, as she listened to Russell tidy up downstairs. Even after she heard the sounds die down and the master bedroom door creak shut, she dared not move, lest the rustle of her blanket conceal whatever small noise that may signal his approach. She couldn't think of a reason why he would check on her, but lay still for another half an hour, just the same.
When she could stand it no longer, she snatched her phone off the charger, dove under her blanket and ordered a ride service to pick her up. She remained under the covers and stared at the screen, watching her driver's progress to her destination.
Her biggest fear was the driver, upon arrival to Katie's house, honking the horn and broadcasting her escape attempt to Russell. This she agonized over with all-consuming intensity until she was jolted out of it by the vibration of her phone. Her ride was here.
There was no time left. No time to pack up her things. She chastised herself for her failure to act even as she bolted out of Katie's room, her phone and purse the only things she grabbed. Through the hall and down the stairs she ran, her bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor, making her cringe with every step. On the first floor, she slipped on some piece of clothing, but managed to get her arms under her, arresting her fall. Her left hand brushed against some fabric and she grabbed it, sticking it into her purse, realizing that it was her panties that she forgot to put back on. Then, blood pounding in her ears, she covered the rest of the distance to the door, opening it and shutting it behind her as quickly and soundlessly as she dared.
She didn't even grab her shoes.
...
There were moments, it seemed, when she was a fly on the wall observing her own self.
The Johnsons, who were Katie's neighbors, had seven-year-old twins. Emily babysat them twice a week and Katie would sometimes visit and hang out as she watched the kids.
Katie wasn't with her this time, as she knocked on the door and Mr. Johnson let her in. The evening was a quiet one. The twins were sleeping on the floor in front of the basement television set. Emily herself was starting to doze off, when the weight of the couch she was lying on shifted with Mr. Johnson's weight plopping down next to her.
Staying in and having a babysitter watch your children seemed like an odd arrangement to Emily, but perhaps there was an unforeseen change of plans which had Mr. Johnson cancel his outing. She was grateful that she was allowed to stay and get paid despite the circumstances and would have dozed off with that thought, had she not felt the weight shift again.