"Fellow regents, you are all aware that this college is facing a crisis. It is in part demographic. That is, the number of young people seeking a college education in liberal arts is declining. We have more older students seeking admission, but it is not nearly enough to keep our beloved institution a going concern. If changes are not made we will be forced to layoff our entire workforce and lock the doors of these ivy -covered buildings forever at the end of the next semester. "
"We have been unsuccessful in finding an online partner in the for-profit sector, which until recently appeared to be our last hope. However, a last ditch effort has provided us one final option. I am sure you have all carefully read the material that was e-mailed to you prior to the last meeting and know that Blessed Spirit of the Seraphim Online College has made a reasonable offer to buy our institution and retain all non-administrative employees and honor all student admissions for a one year probationary period."
"There offer was contingent on approval by local authorities to cede all law enforcement and legal jurisdiction excepting major felonies to the new BSS College. The college is very important to the town, and an agreement has been reached to do just that. BSSC will have its own police force and court system."
"We have discussed this at length. Do I have a motion and second to proceed with a vote?" All in favor say aye. The motion is passed unanimously, and the sale of the college will take place immediately after June graduation."
"Like the elves at the end of Tolkein's classic work, on which my own dissertation was based, our time in this place is done. We must away by sail to the Undying Lands."
The story now moves to a meeting in the office of the new President of BSSC in September of the same year.
Square-shouldered Sister Althea had a bullet-shaped head and a butch. "We have to do something about these sluts. A copy of the new dress code was distributed to every student, but nearly half of the female students are still wearing short skirts or leggings with skin tight butt cracks in full view."
Brother Uriah nodded in agreement. "Our students of faith are troubled by such things. This is not what they expected when they enrolled here. Unfortunately, we had to agree to allow these gentiles to remain among us for a full year.
"If we cannot punish them with the threat of expulsion, then we must punish them physically. Negative reinforcement is a very effective tool for modifying behavior. This new-age 'trophies for all' and 'no spankings' will not be the doctrine here," declared Sister Althea.
President Mortensen sat with pursed lips hands folded into the shape of a church with index finger steeple pressed against his chin listening to his subordinates. After a time he cleared his throat and spoke. "We cannot physically punish 40% of the females on campus. But we can pick out a select few and make an example of them that will put respect for God's will into the rest. I will tell my eldest son, who is now Chief of Campus Police, to arrest 3 or 4 of the most attractive violators and bring them directly to court. We will get the word out to the rest of the student body and subject them to speedy justice the following day."
"Why the most attractive?" asked Uriah. "Why not the most blatant? The shortest skirt, the tightest leggings, the most obscene whale tail?"
"Brother Uriah, for the punishments I have in mind they will not be wearing those outfits or anything else. If they wish to flaunt their bodies, we will grant them the opportunity in the most complete way. I remind you, we wish our student flock of believers to be fruitful and multiply. We want them to marry and add new members to our flock. With numbers comes power, power for us for the greater glory of God. What better encouragement than the view of beautiful female bodies as He made them. What better encouragement to find a wife than to hear the wails and supplications of a young woman's voice as she is stimulated with a modest amount of pain."
A week later 26 year-old Trina, a hot looking, leggy brunet with a world class thigh gap was entering the outdoor swimming pool. There was a sign mounted on the brick wall that stated in large font 'NO TWO-PIECE BATHING SUITES. Trina did not even see the sign. She was looking around to see if there were any hot-looking guys, lifeguards or otherwise. She was an alum visiting her younger sister who was a sophomore. When Trina was a student, bikinis, though not thongs, were 'A' O.K.