"Wake up, sleepy head!" Tamara demanded, slapping my naked left buttock. I squealed, trying instinctively to pull away as I came to abrupt awareness. My protests were muffled by the soggy fabric still in my mouth.
"I suppose we can remove that now," Tamara grinned as she reached for my gag.
I looked around, recalling everything that had happened the night before. Was it the night before? I had no idea what time or day it was. I was in shock, unable to believe this was all really happening.
As Tamara pulled her panties from of my mouth, I coughed.
"What the hell?!" I exclaimed angrily. Plastic zip ties dug into my wrists and ankles as I struggled.
"I know, I know, I could have handled that better," Tamara smiled. "But I panicked when I thought I had lost you."
I tried to calm myself. Despite how furious I was, yelling would help my cause.
"Tamara, I'm sorry I scared you. I was scared too. But you know how I feel about you."
"I saw the look in your eyes. The way you reacted. Your memories came back, didn't they?" Tamara asked rhetorically.
"So what if they did? My feelings for you are real."
"I almost let myself believe they were," Tamara stared off to the side. "I was fascinated with the idea of you falling for me. The thought of you willingly licking my pussy and enjoying it. It sent tingles down my spine. There were more than a few nights I practically rubbed myself raw thinking about it."
Tamara climbed on top of me, straddling my side. Her eyes bore into mine as she twirled a strand of my hair playfully around her finger.
"No matter how turned on I got, no matter what I thought about or what I did, I could never make myself fucking cum. You think I like how dependent I am on you? I wish to God I understood why I need your face to orgasm. But let's be honest, I probably never will-and I can live with that. The only thing I know for certain is that your face is magical. Well, I guess I don't need to tell you," she laughed, "You saw how pent-up I was last night. That orgasm was fucking heaven."
"Nothing has to change," I protested.
"The thing that really sucks is you were making such good progress," she continued as if I hadn't spoken. "You had fallen in love with my ass, and it was only a matter of time before you grew to enjoy my pussy the same way."
I wanted to tell her how wrong she was, but I couldn't help worry there was a shred of truth to her words. Instead, I skirted around the the topic entirely.
"Since when do you want me to enjoy myself?" I asked sardonically.
Tamara hesitated. "I don't know that I actually care if you enjoy yourself. It's more about the fact that you should be enjoying yourself. Besides, every girl wants to feel desired."
Tamara may have been telling the truth, but it wasn't the whole truth. I knew her well enough to know what turned her on more was the control. The power.
"I know when things began between us, it was about payback. I admit I got a lot of pleasure from hurting you."
"Look, Tamara. I know I caused you a lot of pain, and I feel terri-"
"Would you just shut the fuck up and just listen for once?" Tamara snapped.
I was about to offer up a witty retort but thought better of it.
"Now, as I was saying. I got a lot of pleasure from causing you pain. And I'll be honest with you-It confused me. It was hard for me understand how I could want to hurt you and fuck you at the same time. You moving in with me gave me the perfect chance to get to know myself a little better."
She reached up and pulled the holders from her own ponytail, letting her hair fall around her face.
"I even went to see a shrink a few times," she said absent-mindedly as she played with my hair.
"You went to a counselor because of me?"
Tamara laughed. "I went because my parents were getting a divorce, but I had no desire to talk about that shitshow, so we ended up talking about my-interests."
"You told her about about-me?" I asked, incredulous.
"I just gave her the highlights," Tamara laughed. "Her theory is that I had a long-time crush on you that I was suppressing all these years-that I let you push me around because I was secretly in love with you. And that all my anger and aggression was me denying my true feelings."
She parted my hair, pulling half into a ponytail holder, twisting it a two or three times until it held my hair firmly in a pigtail.
"According to her, once I work through my anger, I'll be able to better understand my own feelings and be able to have a healthy relationship with you."
"You want a relationship with me?" I said softly, completely taken by surprise.
"Don't be daft," she chortled, "the woman was clearly batshit. I tried to take her advice when you moved in with me-to have a normal relationship. But the thing is-I'm not a lesbian, and I'm never going to be. She just thought I was because I got turned on knowing you wanted me to go down on you."
"You wanted to go down on me?" I asked, still trying to make sense of Tamara's ramblings.
"No. That's just it. The thought of getting anywhere near your nasty snatch makes me want to vomit. What I liked was that you wanted me to. I liked the feeling of power. Last night was what finally convinced me I was trying to make our relationship into something it wasn't."
She ran her fingers over my cheek.
"Besides, I also realized that I'm not angry at you anymore."
"It's great that you learned what you're looking for in a relationship. That means it will be that much easier to find someone else who can fill those needs."
Tamara burst out laughing. "You might be right, but why would I need or want anyone else?"
"You can't keep me here forever," I protested defiantly.
"Of course I can," she grinned, "No one knows you're here, plus this room is soundproof. You literally belong to me now. My cute little fuck toy."
"This is kidnapping," I protested. "You could go to jail for this."
"No. The only way I could go to jail for this is if I let you go."
"I won't tell anyone," I pleaded. "Please, just let me go. I'll even help you find someone else you can have a relationship with. Someone who will let you be dominant and explore your fetishes to your heart's content."
"You're everything I need," Tamara grinned. "Plus, everytime I get horny thinking about hurting someone, it's always you I'm fantasizing about. I don't know why, but the only one I want to hurt-is you."
"Whoa, what?" I panicked all over again. "I thought you said you weren't mad at me anymore."