Ch02 Struggling To Admit The Truth

For the next couple of weeks, I would keep asking for more details about her boat experience and what other things happened. She didn't really provide anything new, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.

After all the years I've known Cindy, after all her avoidance of any major public displays of affection, after countless times of hearing her criticize Cassie's choice of sexy outfits, I had a new vision of my fiancée getting fucked out in the open while guys looked on. It was surreal.

I was waiting for Cindy to mention anything about her phone call with Steve, but she never said a word. I finally couldn't keep it inside any longer and by the following weekend I caved and asked her if she thought about Steve.

"Yes," was her simple answer. I couldn't believe she was going to make me pull it out of her.

"Did you like the phone call," I asked.

She avoided eye contact. "Yeah. It was crazy. I don't even know what got into me. Are you mad?"

"Hell no! I'm pretty sure I was the one who took you to your room to get his number," I quickly replied.

She laughed. "I guess it's your fault, then."

"Are you going to call him again?" I asked.

"Not a chance," she snapped with a scowl on her face.

"Why? I thought you liked it," was all I could think to say. I wanted more. At least I thought I did. It turned my stomach into knots thinking she would say yes but that is exactly what I was hoping for.

"Yes and no. It was kinda hot, but I remembered how I felt with him. He loved controlling me and I let him. I was scared of the person I was becoming with him. It wasn't me." she answered.

"Why did you stay with him so long then?"

"I don't know. Like I said, it was a toxic chemistry," she said as she looked back up at me.

I didn't know for sure if she was scared of what she thought she was becoming with him or scared that she liked what she was becoming.

I dropped it and didn't bring it up again.

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A month later I was hanging out at Cindy's parents' house watching TV when Cassie came home. She had been learning to ride motorcycle with Steve. As soon as Cassie mentioned Steve's name, Cindy took notice. She became attentive to every word Cassie said.

She met up with him every other week, so the lessons were taking forever. I think this was part of his plan.

"I think I almost got it," Cassie said excitedly. "He thinks I'll be ready to ride on my own soon."

Cindy looked puzzled. "How are you learning if you aren't riding alone?"

"We ride together. He sits behind me, and we go around his neighborhood. No traffic so it's safe," Cassie answered.

I know the wheels were going at full speed in Cindy's brain. Sitting behind her? His neighborhood? All the things that ran through my mind.

They kept talking and I really didn't want to get all riled-up thinking about Steve, so I took the opportunity to go to Blockbuster and pick up a movie.

When I came back, Cassie was taking a shower and Cindy was popping some popcorn. We sat and popped in the DVD.

"Cassie knows I spoke with Steve," Cindy said in the most nonchalant voice.

My heart skipped a beat. "What? How?"

She took a deep breath and explained.

"He told her. He was asking about me and they got into a conversation about why I dumped him. I don't think he liked her saying 'dumped' and he started to bring up how he was too much for me to handle. Then he asked if I was going to return his calls and she asked what he meant. He told her how I called him and how I obviously was still thinking about him. She didn't believe him so he told her to ask me ... and she did."

"What did you say?" I asked.

"All I said was that after seeing him at her party I was just curious and made a bad impulsive decision to call him."

"Did you tell her about me?" I asked nervously.

"No, no. I just said it was an impulse thing. He told her he is still waiting for another call."

My mind was getting worked up again. I thought it was all over with but hearing all of this was getting me hard. Nope! I wasn't going to say anything.

"I asked Cassie if he was hitting on her, and she shrugged her shoulders. She said he mostly flirts but hasn't done anything. I think she likes him, and she disagrees."

Nope, I wasn't getting wrapped up in this again.

"Are you ok?" I asked placing my hand on her knee.

"Oh yeah. Just weird having that conversation with my little sister."

We watched the movie and left it at that.

Things started to change after their conversation, but I didn't realize it until a few weeks later.

Apparently, Steve would talk to Cassie at night, and she would hand the phone to Cindy when they were done talking. The first couple of times, Cindy was caught off guard not realizing it was Steve. She would try to end the conversation quickly and even hung up a couple of times.

Then Steve would tell Cassie to stay with Cindy when she handed the phone. He told Cindy that if she hung up, he would only call again and tell Cassie about some of their adventures. Blackmail is a powerful tool when you are protecting someone else.

After that watershed moment when Cassie found out about Cindy's call, Cassie was asking him a lot of questions. She wanted to know what he meant by 'I was too much for Cindy to handle.'

Cassie is a bit more of a wild child, but she is also a little more naïve and was curious. She only had one boyfriend and, like both of her sisters, was waiting for marriage to have sex. I still didn't think Cassie knew Cindy lost her virginity to Steve.

I found out about all this one night when we were alone at her parent's house fooling around. She asked me if 'talking about Steve' really turned me on.

"Yes. You know it does," I answered.

"Why? Even the thought of another girl flirting with you makes me see red. How does this not get you so mad?

"I don't know. I just know I get off picturing you with another guy," I tried to explain.

"But isn't that cheating? Me having an orgasm while talking to Steve ... isn't it?

"I don't think so," I answered. "You aren't doing it behind my back. We are sharing the experience together AND I am ok with it. As long as you don't keep secrets, I'm ok."

"I have something to tell you that I didn't tell you before. I'm sorry, I just didn't want you to get mad," she said with tears in her eyes.

I was getting really worried now because I had no idea what was coming.

"Steve and I have been talking." She looked straight down.

"What do you mean? When?" I asked.

She told me about their conversations and although it wasn't like they were having phone sex, it was something she kept from me. The weird part, even knowing she had kept this secret was exciting.

I was so confused with my own contradictions. I told her I didn't want any secrets and here I was aroused by them.

"I didn't want to say anything because I really thought I could just get rid of him, but he kept calling. Now I don't know what to do!"

I could hear genuine concern in her voice. Was it about thinking I would getting mad or not knowing how to avoid Steve ... I didn't know.

"It's ok. We'll figure this out," I whispered as I tried to calm her down.

"Will you ever forgive me?" she asked.

I took her hand and placed it on my crotch. She squeezed and smiled. "Really? You are turned on by this? I don't get it."

"I can't explain it. I don't know why but I love it."

"Really? So, what should I do?" she asked. Looking back at that moment, I realized she was probably looking for permission. She was looking for a way to not feel to blame for talking to him again.

"If I'm being honest, I'd have you call him. Like, right now. But that is just me being a horny guy," I chuckled trying to pass my impulsive confession as a halfhearted joke.

She just stared at me. It was like she was trying figure out how serious I was. "I want to call him without my sister around," she said calmly.

There it was. She did want to talk to him.

I slid off the couch and as quickly as I could, I pulled off her pajama bottoms. No panties. I placed my hands on her inside thighs and parted her legs. I could see her hair matted down with silkly, glistening, wetness. I went down between her thighs, and she parted her legs even farther.. Her juices covered my lips, my tongue. Her hands gripped my shoulders and then the back of my head. She was moaning. Then her legs wrapped around my head and pressed me into her. I couldn't breathe but I kept licking furiously.

"Oh My God! Oh My God!" she kept repeating.

I wasn't stopping and I knew she was already close. What really got me even more turned on was knowing it was the thought of Steve that was doing this to her.

She pushed me off and I fell back on the floor. I looked up in surprise as she jumped up off the couch, shook the remaining pajama bottoms off her leg and took my hand. She helped me up and headed to her bedroom.

As we entered, she let go of my hand and frantically picked up her phone and dialed his number. It seems she didn't need to look it up this time. She put in her phone number and laid back on her bed, phone next to her head. She parted her legs and looked at me. I went back down.

Less than two minutes passed when the phone startled both of us. I wasn't sure what to expect but it wasn't what happened.

Cindy put one hand on my head and pushed me deeper into her. She grabbed the phone with the other hand and answered it.

In the sultriest tone and with a slight moan, "Hello."

My tongue worked every inch of her. Up and down, in and out. My hand reached down into my shorts I started to stroke my cock as best I could.

"Yes. I couldn't wait," she said never once disguising the fact she was, as far as he knew, touching herself.

"Yes! Yes!" she kept telling him. I don't know what he was saying but she was responding.

"The hello kitty pajamas. Yes, those," I guessed she was describing what she was wearing. "No, nothing."

"Oh My God. I'm so wet."

"No."

"You know I do. I don't want to."

She was getting close. Her thighs were squeezing around my head.

"Uhhhhh. I miss your cock. Yes, I miss it."

After those words her moans got louder and louder. She pulled my hair. My head snapped back. She screamed and came. Her legs tightened shut. She convulsed as she pressed the phone to her ear, listening to Steve still talking.

"Yes. Please. I want to hear it."

I could tell he was jerking off and she was getting off.

"Fuck me like a slut. Fuck me like your slut," she said.

My eyes popped out of my head. Who was this person? Those words? Not once did she use any sexually explicit words with me. Here she was saying them like it was every night occurrence. Absolutely crazy.

She spoke a little longer with Steve as I sat on the floor wiping my semen on my underwear. She was completely unaware of what I was doing.

When she hung up, I crawled up on her bed and laid beside her. We kissed and dozed off.

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We woke up a couple of hours later and the first thing out of her mouth was, "Sorry honey. I shouldn't have. That was stupid."

I tried to assure her again it was ok, but she kept going on.

"I hate it. This is what he did before. He gets under my skin, and I lose control. You know me. This isn't me."

I said the only thing I could think of, "Do you really hate it or are you worried I will think less of you?"

"This isn't what you fell in love with. I want to be that person. I want to marry you and live our lives together like we always dreamed," she said with softness and love in her voice.

"Babe, I love you the way you were. I love you the way you are. I love you for whoever you become," I said to her as I gave her a soft kiss.

She teared up and hugged me.

I asked her again, "Do you really hate it?"

She didn't answer. Her hug got tighter. I had my answer.

She was really struggling, and it sometimes felt like a Jekyll and Hyde scenario. She got so worked up and became a sexual being one moment and then she was my demure fiancée, full of regret and self-doubt, the next.

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I headed home and she called me as I was falling asleep and told me she loved me. Then she told me she heard Cassie talking to Steve after I left. She is pretty sure he was talking about our call because she heard Cassie say, "Really? Tonight? No, we were all at dinner."

Then she heard Cassie talking about how happy Cindy was to get married to me and that we seemed in love.

What was my concern?

"Does he know I was there?"

"I didn't hear anything like that, but Cassie came in my room and asked me about the call. I don't think she knew it was sexual, but she has an idea that it was a little intense. She asked me if I had feelings for Steve and I told her, 'No!'"

"Then she asked me if you knew he called. I told her you fell asleep watching TV when he spoke. She was excited like she was in the middle of this taboo and asked a hundred questions."

"What does she think about it?" I asked.

"I think she likes her 'goody two-shoes' sister being bad. She asked me if I was going to see him, but I told her it would never happen. It's just flirting. She said, 'I think it's more than that because he is always asking about you.'"

"She asked me if I wanted to go with her next time she goes bike riding," Cindy continued.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"Really? Are you insane? Of course I'm not going," she answered with a tinge of anger. "I don't even want her to go."

---------------------------------------------------

He called her a few times since that night, but Cindy never returned his calls. When Cassie tried to hand her the phone, she didn't take it. Cassie would make kissing motions as she held the phone and nudged her to talk to him. I really think Cassie was having fun with this whole thing but as long as she didn't know I knew; it didn't bother me.

A couple of weeks later it was July 4

th,

and everyone was headed down to the Keys for the long weekend. Everyone except Cindy and me. We had a friend's wedding Saturday afternoon but planned to head down to the Keys on Sunday.

The wedding was on the beach. A hot summer Florida beach wedding. Who does that? We ended up cutting our stay short at the reception because it was so hot and uncomfortable. Everyone was sweating and wondering why someone would have an outdoor reception in July.

We went home to Cindy's parents' house and spent the rest of the afternoon in her pool. After we took a shower and had dinner, I helped her pack for the Keys. I had to do the same thing, and she wanted to get going as early as possible, so we called it an early night