Celebration Leads to Regret

This story was told to me by a lady a few years after the event and I found it very erotic. From her telling, it was clear to me she was not really sure whether this was consensual or forced sex. My personal opinion is that it was consensual. After I got to know her I came to the conclusion that she is into taboo type experiences but justifies them by thinking or saying she was forced. I am sure she was aroused as she told the story to me. I have decided to share and have written it from her point of view -- the way it was told to me.

It was two and half weeks before my wedding and I had just closed one of the largest deals in my company's history. I was only two years out of college selling paper for a regional company in North Carolina. I was the youngest salesperson and only female and through some family connections had established a relationship with the lead administrator of a large hospital. That contact led to the hospital giving us the contract for all their paper products. It was a huge deal for me and my manager Steve had worked closely with me as we negotiated the contract. It was my first big deal and it paid a huge commission and eventually won me the salesperson of the year award worth $50k in bonus commission.

My manager and I went out to dinner with the executive from the hospital the evening we signed the contract and I was on top of the world. I had finished the deal before my wedding and I was going to make enough commission to pay off my student loans and more. My fiancé was still in law school so the windfall of money was a huge bonus for us. I could not have been happier.

We started dinner with martinis (Steve's favorite) and continued with wine throughout dinner. After our guest left, Steve and I went to the bar and I made my first mistake. Steve ordered up two tequila shots.

"I can't do shots." I told Steve.

"Oh come on, Jenny," he replied, "you just closed the biggest deal in our company's history and you are refusing a celebratory shot?"

"I can't handle tequila." I responded with a hopeful smile.

Steve responded with a comment that would play out many times over the evening, "Well, well, I guess I could nominate Bill for salesperson of the year and let him enjoy the bonus money."

He said it playfully but I knew what I had to do so I picked up the shot glass and knocked back the tequila. We did another before we left the bar so I was pretty well hammered by the time we parked at our hotel and walked in the lobby.

"Come on, let's go to the bar." Steve said as we walked in.

"I am way too drunk for anymore drinking." I told him.

Once again he went into his spiel about the biggest deal and who he would nominate for the bonus. He was joking with me but the bonus was incredibly important to me because I did not want my fiancé to inherit any debt when we got married. In retrospect I was incredibly naïve to think that drinking with Steve would help my chances but I certainly believed it.

I offered up a final and half hearted defense, "Steve, I think I should go upstairs and run a hot bath and then climb in the bed."

Steve looked at me in a funny way and then offered something that I agreed to that will haunt me forever. "I will make you a deal. Come have another victory shot with me and then we can go get in the hot tub to finish off this magical day?"

"I don't have a bathing suit." I replied thinking I had stumped him.

"Nor do I," he said, "but I do have my workout clothes just like you do. I don't know of any rule that says you can't go hot tubbing in workout gear." He was delighted with himself and as usual he was very persuasive. "And, I will give you tomorrow morning off." He finished with a flourish.

"I have tomorrow off anyway but what the hell." I said as I led us into the bar. This was one of several mistakes that I would make on the evening.

We did our shot and I was feeling really good. Tequila not only gets me drunk but it energizes me as well. I went to my room, changed into my workout clothes and came back down to the hot tub. Steve was already in when I arrived. I threw the hotel bathrobe on one of the pool chairs and climbed in. It was hot and wonderful. Almost immediately a waitress from the hotel bar arrived with a tray with six tequila shots with a salt shaker and lemon wedges. I remember laughing when she put them down beside Steve. I had reached the point where I was drunk enough not to care if we kept on drinking.

"To the salesperson of the year." He said as he handed me a shot.

I slammed it.

We talked a little about my upcoming wedding and I remember noticing that he had a nice body. I knew he worked out a lot but his clothes hid how well built he was. Without a shirt, it was clear that he was not just tall but also very muscular. At six foot three he towered over me by ten inches. I had always been on the short side but I also kept myself in good shape especially leading up to the wedding. Being naturally stocky with muscular legs and rear end as well as large boobs, I spent all my time in the gym trying to stay lean. I could tell Steve spent his time lifting weights and building muscle.

Before we did the second shot he picked up the tray and came over to my side of the hot tub. It seemed natural since we had to use the same salt shaker and all the lemons were on the tray but in hind sight I am sure he just wanted to get next to me. We did the second shot and then the third and that is where things began to get fuzzy.

I remember talking to Steve about my fiancé and remember him telling me about his ex-wife. He told me that regular sex was the key to a happy marriage and not to forget it. In my drunken state it did not seem to out of line and even when sober he had a tendency to say things that pushed the limits.

I remember sitting on the edge of the hot tub to cool down and he playfully telling me he could see through my shorts and shirt. My shorts were pink nylon and my t-shirt was white and both were surprisingly revealing when they were wet. I was too drunk to do anything but laugh about it. Steve was also putting his hands on me but not in a sexual way. He would reach out and touch me if I said something funny or find reasons to touch me as he explained things or told me stories. It did not seem out of the ordinary.

At some point he told me that he had a masseuse who would come to his house once a week for a massage. I remember playfully asking him if she was hot and he laughed and responded that "yes, he was."

He told me that his masseuse gave a great foot massage and he grabbed one of my legs and pulled my foot up on to his lap and began giving me one. I remember that it felt good and closing my eyes to enjoy it. I would normally have never let my manager massage my foot in a hot tub but I had downed a total of six tequila shots as well as a martini and some wine. I was very drunk and I just went with it. I remember him massaging my calf and even going above my knee while he told me that I had nice strong legs. The massage felt good so I did not stop him.

I am not sure if I fell asleep or blacked out for a minute but the next thing I knew Steve had his hand on my crotch. His hand was on the outside of my panties but was underneath my shorts and he was rubbing me. I immediately pushed him away.

"We can't do that." I remember saying. It sounds so lame that this was all I said when my manager had assaulted me in a hot tub but it is indeed all I said. I was dazed from the alcohol and hot tub and was too drunk to realize the magnitude of his actions.

"Sorry," he responded, "I got a little carried away and it looked like you were enjoying the massage."

"I have got to go to bed." I slurred as I climbed out of the hot tub and put my robe on. I remember being so drunk I almost fell down after standing up.

Steve got out and helped me get my robe on and ushered my toward the door. I remember muttering something about how drunk I was and him saying something about how we both had way too much to drink.

As drunk as I was, I never felt threatened nor did I think it was odd that Steve got off on my floor. As we got to my door I pulled the room key out of my robe pocket and opened it. Steve acted as if he was holding the door for me and I walked in. He came in as well and let the door swing shut. I was so drunk all I remember thinking was that I wanted to go to bed. I remember flopping on the bed still in my bathrobe.

What happened the rest of the night will no doubt make some readers think that I wanted to have sex with him but I did not. I don't know why I did not resist any more than I did but I am sure that I was so drunk that my thinking was completely off base with reality. I have often asked myself why I did not do things differently but my memory is clouded by alcohol. There was a point where I experienced some pleasure but from discussions with other women who have been forced to have sex this occasionally happens. In my mind, it does not take away from the fact that he took advantage of me and eventually raped me even as I begged him not to.

When I lay down on the bed, I am not sure if I fell asleep or passed out but the next thing I remember was Steve pulling my shirt off and while saying something about getting me out of my wet clothes. I remember resisting but not too much. I actually wanted my shirt off as I was cold and even though at some level I realized he should not be undressing me the way he was talking to me calmed my uneasiness. He even put a dry t-shirt back on me. I actually remember thanking him as I drifted in and out of sleep.

He did the same thing with my wet shorts and panties and all I did was lay there. I remember pulling the covers over me when my shorts were off and I recall the lights being turned off. I remember him telling me that he was going to leave. I have no idea if he ever left my room but based on what happened next I think he told me he was leaving so I would go back to sleep.

My next memory he was in bed with me. I woke up and realized that something was inside of me. It took me a minute to get my bearings but very quickly I realized that it was Steve. He was in bed with me and had his hand on my pussy and a finger inside me.

"Steve, no, we can't do this." I remember saying as I tried to push his hand away.

His response confused me even as I struggled. "Are you upset about what we did in the hot tub?" He said.

"We didn't do anything Steve. Please get out of here." I responded in my drunken and frightened state.

His response was chilling. He rolled on top of me and pinned me to the bed and said, "We didn't? So you call laying back in the hot tub with your legs spread for thirty minutes and letting me play with your pussy 'not doing anything'?"

"Get off of me and get out of my room." I said as I tried to push him off.

He was way to strong and I could not move him. He got very angry and continued to talk to me. "So you were just going to parade around in your see through clothes, talk sexy and let me play with you and then just wander off to bed?"

I was desperate. "Steve I am sorry. I did not realize what I was doing. I drank too much. Just please don't do this to me." I begged.

"No, I am going to give you what you want Jenny." He said back to me as he maneuvered his cock to the entrance of my pussy.

"Steve, I am begging you. I am getting married in two weeks. You can't do this." I pleaded.

He did not even respond. He continued to push his cock into me. He was a lot bigger than my fiancé and he had trouble getting himself inside me. Several times he spit into his hand and wiped it on me and his cock to help with the lubrication. It was a crude gesture but it worked and he got himself all the way inside of me.

I will regret it forever but I did not resist any further. I simply lay there and let him fuck me. I have tried to blame it on the alcohol but I don't know if that is the reason. I would have thought I would have been kicking and screaming and crying but I did nothing. Once I realized that he was in me I let him move me around like a rag doll and after my initial resistance I never offered a single bit of protest. I let him do all that he wanted.

It lasted a long time -- over thirty minutes I think. He groped my boobs under my shirt for a few minutes and even tried to kiss me but I turned my head. Even though he was much bigger than my fiancé, it never hurt. It felt like an unusual pressure. It was almost as if I was outside my own body watching him do these things to me. I remember being surprised that I was wet and being strangely interested in watching his hips move when he pushed up on his hands.

Eventually he asked me, "Are you ready for me to come?" I remember thinking what a silly question it was for him to ask.

I responded with a 'yes' because I feared he would last forever if I said anything differently. He asked me if I was on the pill and again I said 'yes'. As I look back I can see how he thought I was willingly having sex with him and I have often questioned why I responded the way I did.

He pulled out of me and knelt between my spread legs. He grabbed a pillow and lifted my lower body and slid the pillow under my ass. My pussy was now propped up in front of him. I had never been put in this position and I was not sure what he was going to do to me. In my out of body experience I was fascinated by how strong he was and how easily he had moved me. He lifted my legs straight up and told me to hold them as far back as I could. I did as I was told gripping my legs behind my knees. I do not know why I obeyed.

My head was also on a pillow causing me to be in a crunched position. With my legs pulled back my face was only a foot or so from my pussy and I could see my pubic mound over my breasts. It was a view I had never seen before and I was strangely intrigued.

Suddenly he reached over me and turned on the light beside the bed telling me that he liked the lights on and wanted to look at my beautiful body. This was the first time I saw his cock. It was much bigger than anything I had ever seen before. He was long but it was the width that was impressive. It widened below his head to incredible size. I remember being surprised that it had been all the way inside me. I had been with a few men at that time in my life and none were anywhere close to as large as Steve was. He was a big man all over but his cock looked out of proportion even for him. He began rubbing it on my opening and he must have seen me looking at it.

"Do you want to kiss it?" He said.

"No." I responded. The lack of emotion in my voice surprised me. He did not attempt to force me.

He continued to rub it up and down my opening and once again he spit into his hand and spread it on his cock. I could tell that he did not think he was doing anything wrong and looking back I was not giving him anymore reason to. He told me that he was glad that I did not shave and it embarrassed me. I remember thinking how silly it was for me to be embarrassed by that comment given what he was doing but still I felt slightly ashamed.

As he began to work his head inside of me I remember thinking that he surely could not fit inside of me. Even though he had already been there I was strangely fascinated that I was going to be able to watch him try. His width scared me as he continued to work himself in. At his command, I pulled my legs further back and apart gave me a better view of him entering me. On my own I pulled them back further so I could see everything. This was when I first realized that my body was betraying me. I did not even realize I was experiencing pleasure until I heard myself moan. It surprised and disappointed me but it did not make me stop him. I continued to watch as he worked himself all the way in. My arousal increased quickly as I watched his cock move in and out of me. The incredible pressure was causing waves of excitement to course through me. In the light I could see my abdominals clench with each wave.

He began to play with my nipples with one hand and my clitoris with his other. I could feel the waves of pleasure strengthen and I knew where I was headed. Tears began to roll down my cheeks. I think the conflicting emotions overcame me when I realized that I was responding so strongly to him. I don't think he even noticed that I was crying. He continued to pinch my nipples and tease my clitoris while he stayed moved in and out of me. I knew that I was going to come. Even as I was experiencing incredible pleasure I knew that I would hate myself for this later.

Finally, he pushed down on the backs of my thighs pressing my legs wide open and began to hammer himself in and out of me. The sight of him doing this was doing things to my body that I had never experienced. I knew he was about to come just as I was. I tried not to cry out but I think I did as the first waves of my orgasm tore through me and I remember trembling in pleasure as he pushed himself as far into me as he could and emptied his load in several massive explosions. I could see, hear and feel his come pulsing back down around his cock and out of my pussy.

Finally it was over. He turned off the light, kissed my forehead and lay down beside me. I did not ask him to leave. I remember thinking that I had forgotten to call my fiancé that night and how silly that regret was based on what had happened to me. I drifted off to sleep.