After years of struggling with his 'issue', John finally decided to make an appointment with a therapist, so he could talk with someone about his constant cravings. Over the years he had read so much about alter-egos, the Id or the shadow self, and a myriad of other topics about parts of personality that people suppressed for one reason or another. Some said that they were simply messages sent by the subconscious about things that needed their attention while others would say it was years of the ego defining behaviors as either right or wrong and all the wrongness had been suppressed and was trying to find its way out.
All the reading did was make him understand that it did come calling and as much as he tried to figure out why he never reached a conclusion. There were periods when he felt no need or craving only to have it come back even stronger than before. For whatever reason there was a part of him that always got sucked in and he simply could not ignore it. He always ended up surrendering to it in the end.
That is what led him to the couch of Dr. Rivers and he had just finished laying all this out to Her. As he lay on the couch She sat in a chair to the side where She could still see his face and gauge his reactions to Her questions as well as the emotions displayed by his face and mannerisms. It was hard for John not to steal looks at Her crossed legs that were encased in black nylons. Her black skirt ended just above her knees and the black heels She wore shined softly from the light that came in from the window. Her long brown hair fell down over Her shoulders and stood in sharp contrast to the white blouse She wore.
"So, from what you have told Me, at some level you seem to have either a struggle with your own sexuality, difficulty in trusting women, or possibly both."
"Well I have figured out at least that much Dr. Rivers but what can I do to get past whatever it is?" the frustration in his voice was hard to miss.
"You need to find someone you can trust John. Someone that can create a safe environment that will allow you to work through all of this. That is why therapists can help so much where others cannot," She uncrossed and re-crossed Her legs as She situated herself in the chair. The whooshing sound of Her nylons again drew his eyes to her legs. "Your secrets are safe with Me John. My job is to help you work through all of this. Think of this as a safe place for you to relay and even act out your feelings in some cases, where you need not fear what might happen when you do."
"That sounds great and all but..."
"John, first you need to relax when you are in session with Me," She sat forward in the chair and looked him in the eye, "why don't we try some breathing exercises?" She took a deep breath in and opened Her eyes slightly wider and when She exhaled allowed Her eyelids to fall down until they almost closed," do it with Me now John." He did as She instructed, and they started taking deep breaths in and out.
"That's right John, just let the deep breaths draw in all that tension in your body and then expel it out with each exhale," he kept breathing as She instructed while staring at Her eyes. "Just let yourself get rid of all that tension and stress. Give up all the anxiety you have about your feelings. You are safe with Me John. You are in a place of trust when you are with Me."
His breathing got deeper and slower while She spoke to him, "that's right John, that's right just relax your whole body as the fresh air cleans out all the negative feelings you might have. Expel all your fears because here you are in a safe place," She leaned back in Her chair again and stared at his eyes that had started to droop a little, "have you ever tried hypnosis John?"
"Um, well yes," he mumbled.
"Would you like Me help you relax even more by hypnotizing you right now?"
"Yes," was all he could say. Being hypnotized by a beautiful woman had always been one of his fantasies. He had imparted some of his fantasies to Her already but not this particular fetish, which had grown stronger in him over the years until it had become one of his favorites.