I had arrived at 702 to work up a new admit, Albert K, 19. It was 14:42. I know because I'm a professional and therefore fastidious about marking the time on the top sheet. My first impression was, 'meh', to be honest. The chart said pituitary tumor and the prognosis was good. They are usually benign. But what I noticed was that he had good balance. There was little to indicate illness. Just greasy hair, sallow skin, some extra weight.
He was up and out of bed, which was unexpected. He looked out the window, which meant I could see the bare curve of his bottom through the gap in the gown.
I put on my 'patient voice'. Hello Albert, I'm nurse Kat, I'm just here to get your details. Doctor S will be by later to talk you through the procedure."
He had turned, but I wasn't sure he had heard me, his focus was somewhere below my eyes. This happens and I'm used to it, even if I don't like it. But, of course, I kept it professional. "Ahem, Albert. Did you catch what I said?"
His gaze, which had arrived at my hip, slowly made its way back up, over my stomach and my chest and finally arrived, about an inch below my eyes.
"Al," he mumbled.
"I'm sorry?" I said.
"Al. No one calls me Albert except to make fun, its just Al."
"Oh, ok Al, I'll make a note for the others," I'd said as I flipped to sheet two. "I need to ask you your details. It's quite extensive. There's history, allergies, contacts, a whole list. It could take some time. Would you like to sit back in the bed?"
"I'm ok", he'd mumbled. "At least you are pretty, prettier than the other one."
I was a bit offended but also confused and didn't know which to act on first. I was for sure the first to arrive, so I went with responsible nursing: "What other one, has someone been to see you already?"
"Not here," he'd answered. "At the last hospital."
Now I was upset. I riffled the pages of the chart. No prior history, no operations, no hospitalizations. Who the hell assembled this chart in the first place? This was not a professional charting job. "Look," I said, "I'm missing any mention of a prior hospitalization, lets step back and start from the beginning. Can you tell me when you first..." And about then is when things changed.
I couldn't say what and I couldn't say how, but my notes from that point are weird, and frankly embarrassing. NOT professional. I didn't even mark the time of exit.
"Relax," he'd said. I'm pretty sure he'd said. I think he said? But either way, I relaxed. Like completely. My back, which had been aching from standing straight on the hard floors, even in my Cloves, just... stopped hurting. My arms which had been holding the clipboard up extra high to hide my breasts from Al's gaze fell low. Even my 'patient smile' fell slack.
"You might want to sit, "he'd said. I'm pretty sure he'd said. I think he said? But either way, I sat on the bed. "You know what you want to ask." he said. Or I thought. And I did know.
"How is my uniform," I asked? I definitely asked, because his answer is right here on the chart: Not to my liking. Scrubs show off nothing. And light blue is not a good color for you. Let's try, something more candy-striper.
And on reflection, for a greasy and frankly fat 19 year old, this kid was throwing around some serious big dick energy. I mean, what the fuck? But I wrote it down. And, since I'm sitting here in fucking fishnets and a too-short skirt, not to mention my tits spilling out of my top, I guess I listened and complied.
"Preferred schedule?", I'd asked.
"Schedule a wake up blow, an evening fuck, and this might surprise you, but I love to go down on a lady, so lets have a taste of you at mid-afternoon." It's all here on the form, so I definitely asked and he almost certainly answered.
And frankly, that is a lot of time to devote to one patient. One patient who isn't nearly my sickest. But "patient care is our number one priority" the sign behind station 2 says. And I'm a professional. So here I am.
"Ok, well it's about 2, so cunnilingus now?" I asked, going for the most formal word I could conjure.
"Look, I prefer a bit of a slut. Not like running around topless and sucking off strangers. Well, not all the time. But, you know 'eat me', 'stick your tongue in my fuckhole', something on that order of magnitude would be fine," Al said. I think. I'm pretty damn sure he said, because SLUT is circled in red pen here on page 3.