I looked into his eyes and could see the fear and fascination there. I looked familiar to him but just as equally foreign. He turned his head to the side to get a better look. He lifted his chin, looking down his nose. I did the same. It was hard not to.
He didn't recognize that we were the same person. He always thought of himself as a man but he didn't know that there was a girl inside of him.
Me. I'm that girl. I've been with him all of his life. He's caught glimpses out of the corner of his eye, as if I were standing behind him, just out of sight, but he hasn't looked me in the eyes... until now.
I'm Wendy. He's Louis. He used to call the shots, keeping me trapped in a well deep inside of him until Dr. Herzog helped me escape. Since then I've been making my presence known more and more in Louis's life. I come out fully when she puts him into a hypnotic trance, yes, but there are other ways I make my presence known. If he realized it, Louis would see that he holds his drinks with his pinky extended daintily. He'd hear that his voice has gone up a bit in its pitch. And he'd realize that his mouth waters a little bit whenever he sees an attractive man.
I'll admit it. I'm a cockslut. I've got a voracious appetite for it. Every time the phone rings at Louis's place, I get a little shiver down my spine, hoping that it'll be Dr. Herzog on the other end of the line giving him his trigger word to release me from my masculine bonds. When this happens, it's Louis that fades into the background while I step into the spotlight. I feel like a star. I'm the center of attention at the Herzogs when I go to their place.
There are times, like this, where Louis is given the chance to confront me. To see himself for what he should be. Tonight Dr. Herzog invited me out and let Louis see me. It was time that he and I had a little chat. The most he tries to deny that I exist, the more difficult it's become for me to come out, despite all of the hypnotic conditioning Dr. Herzog has put in place for my ease of entry into the world.
"Why do you resist me?" I asked him, my mouth forming a perfect little pout. I could see this because he could see this.
"I... I don't want you around. You're ruining my life!" he shouted. I noticed that he avoided any sibilant sounds. I'd gotten him lisping ever so slightly like Cindy Brady. He knew this because I knew this.
"Am I really? Is that what you think? You've seen the world through my eyes and lived it the way I want to live. Isn't that better? Haven't you had fun? Hasn't it been super?" I just had to add that last part to give him a good sissy lisp.
"No!" he whined. "I don't want any part of it! You're making me do things I don't want!"
"Like what?"
"Everything! The clothes! The way I act!"
"The way you feel about men?"
"Yes! Especially that!"
"Oh, don't be coy. Don't try to tell me that you don't enjoy that. I've been with you all your life. I know everything you've ever thought and all of your fantasies. I've been there as you've jacked off thinking of the jock who saw you naked at the gym. I've felt you get hard while watching porn, not because of the women but because of the men. I'm simply doing all of the things you've always wanted to do but never would."
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Normally I'd be concerned if a patient of mine were having such a heated conversation with themselves while staring in a mirror. Yet, this is exactly how I knew this would happen. I had found Wendy inside of Louis during an early hypnosis session. I could picture her as a little girl, a lost urchin starving and shaking from fear hidden amongst trappings of macho bullshit that Louis had piled on over the years, trying to keep Wendy repressed.
I found the little girl and helped raise her, so to speak. I knew that her presence was the key to Louis's personality and so many of the issues he couldn't resolve. How could he? He was denying himself -- much like he was dong now.
Tonight I hoped to resolve some of the conflict between the masculine and feminine sides of Louis's personality and allow the feminine to win. I was sissifying him, giving Wendy the upper hand. I didn't want to eradicate Louis from existence, rather, I wanted to torment him with his own desires. Wendy embodied those painfully frightening feelings and she was my greatest ally in this process.
"Wendy, perhaps you should show Louis just exactly what he needs," I chimed in. I could tell that they were at an impasse and I hoped this tilted the scales. My powers of persuasion and hypnosis could only go so far, even with the farther-reaching hypnotic triggers that had been set up by his Aunt when he was a boy. She was the person who kept Wendy alive through Louis's sexual awakening and initial subjugation but her training of Louis ceased when she had to move to the West Coast, leaving him adrift.
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Dr. Herzog knew exactly what I needed to do to show Louis that I was his true face.
I heard the pleasantly familiar buzz from Dr. Herzog's intercom, letting her husband, Charles, know that his services were needed. Or, rather, that he was needed to be serviced. I've only had a few dozen men with which to compare him, but Charles was my most favorite. I love the way he makes me feel. If anything, I think I have gotten a little crush on him. I hope Dr. Herzog doesn't mind.
I walked over to the center of the room with Louis walking with me. I tried to kneel where Charles liked me to be but my knees were locked.
