The pendulum begins to swing again.
My eyes follow it automatically now; I can't remember what it feels like to look away. It gleams under the bright spotlight, the only light in the darkened room, and my gaze follows the trail of light as it forms a single unbroken arc from left to right and from right to left. I try to tell myself I'm still resisting, but the thought feels like it's coming to me from behind a thousand miles of cobweb.
My eyes slip shut for a moment and I feel a jet of warm water spraying directly onto my crotch, startling them back open. They instantly lock onto the pendulum again, captivated by the motion, but they feel impossibly thick and heavy, aching with the strain of keeping them open. My eyelids constantly flutter on the edge of closing, kept open only by the water that hits me every time I try to sleep. I don't know how long it's been since I was able to rest. Time is fuzzy for me-everything is fuzzy now, time most of all.
The voice begins again. "All you need to do is surrender, Olivia." It's warm, soft, androgynous. It could be a man or a woman. I've stopped trying to guess. I've stopped trying to block it out. "All of this will end the moment you surrender. Surrender means rest. Surrender means peace. Surrender means pleasure."
I feel my clit throb at the word 'pleasure', and I sag against the restraints at the sensation. I want to cum so bad now. There's something buzzing between my thighs-I can't see what it is, it's too dark and anyway I can't look away from the motion of the pendulum, but the vibration is endlessly distracting. It's not enough to get me off, though. Lord knows I've tried. But every time I feel my breathing quicken and my pulse start to race, the pulsing sensation slows down until I lose my grip on orgasm. It constantly teases, tantalizing me with pleasure that never quite materializes.
"...let yourself go, Olivia. It's so easy to lose yourself in the motion and let your thoughts drift away into soft, easy relaxation." I realize I don't remember everything the voice said. More and more, it slips into my mind when I'm not thinking about anything at all except for the sweeping arc of the pendulum in front of me. I try to reassure myself that as long as I'm thinking, I'm resisting. I can't block their voice out anymore, I'm too tired for that now, but I can at least pay attention instead of simply absorbing their words.
But it's so hard to listen without listening. It's so hard to take in every single word and not let any of the suggestions affect me. I hear the voice saying, "You're so sleepy, Olivia," and it's so true that I catch myself nodding. But then the voice says, "Such a drowsy good girl, ready to let your thoughts go and obey," and it's so hard to remember that I have to stop agreeing with it. I feel a sticky fog of exhaustion clinging to my thoughts, gumming up my mind and making me feel slow and sluggish and blank.
"There's no need to resist anymore, Olivia," they say, but I know I have to. I don't know what they want to do to me, but nobody spends this kind of time and effort to sign you up for Amway. I make another attempt to pull free from the restraints that are holding me in place, but it's more of a panic reflex than a serious effort to escape. I've exhausted myself trying to break loose. If they held when I was fresh and rested, they're not going to give now.
"That's right," they say, confirming my feeling of helplessness. "The more you struggle, Olivia, the more tired you become. The more tired you are, the harder it is to resist my voice and the fascinating motion. Just watch it sway with me, Olivia. Left to right, and right to left. Listen to the soothing tick and tock as it swings. It's so easy to follow the motion now, isn't it?"
