I stumbled and almost fell off the stepladder. The enormous garland I was trying to put up snarled in my dishwater blonde hair and tumbled over my glasses. I had a horrible sensation of vertigo as I looked down at my four roommates. Why was decorating for the holidays so damn difficult? And why did the ceilings of these old apartment buildings have to be so high?
"Oops! Careful Anne," said Kevin as he steadied me. Kevin was a handsome black pre-med student. I tried not to blush as he helped me down, but ever since I had met him it was hard to keep my mind on my schoolwork. After three and a half months of coed living while I worked on my psych masters I really should have been to the point where one of them getting close didn't affect me anymore. I tried to think of them as just people I lived with for convenience. We were just a bunch of nice normal grad students living together to share expenses. Some days though, that was harder to do than others.
This was definitely one of those days. Our resident architect Rose had broken out a bottle of pinot noir about an hour earlier and one bottle had quickly become two. She and our final roomie Jeff had been micromanaging the tree together. I was tipsy and barely avoided a broken neck if not for Kevin. I tried to push out of my mind how nice his arms had felt when he caught me. We had to keep things casual or the arrangement would never work.
Jeff pulled down a box of odds and ends he had collected over the years studying cultural anthropology. "I think there may be some things in here we can use," he said. His soft brown eyes scanned the contents as he habitually stroked his goatee. Jeff was the type of guy girls fantasized about while he was none the wiser. I had three classmates try to get me to fix them up with him, but he was always too busy planning for his next trip or writing about the last one and he turned them all down. One of them even accused me of wanting him for myself. I denied it, but the fact was when Kevin wasn't occupying my thoughts Jeff would often as not crawl into them.
Kevin laughed and I switched my attention back to him. He said, "You should probably stay off the ladder, especially if you are having any more of this." He handed me my wine glass. I had almost forgotten he had gone to get me a refill. Rose had found a particularly good vintage at Trader Joe's and she had stocked up. It was a good thing too. At this rate the case would probably barely last through New Year's.
"Maybe I should slow down?" I asked. I didn't want to look like a lush.
"No way. Don't stress on it tonight. We can hang the stuff later. Why don't we help Rose and Jeff with the tree?" he replied with a grin.
"Sure," I said, covering up my embarrassment and crossing the room over to the boxes surrounding our other roommates.
Jeff was lifting something carefully out of the box. "Oh wow. I had forgotten I bought this," he said. His voice sounded far away. He slowly lifted out a fragile ornament of spun glass. It was a fairly simple red ball, but I couldn't take my eyes away. The way the light caught it was breathtaking. He turned it over in his hand and it shifted and scattered the light around off its uneven surface in moving patterns.
Rose asked with a bit of awe, "Where did you get it?"
"I found it in a curio shop when I was in Germany last summer. I remember I saw it and I thought it looked like something I had seen in one of my books. I...I don't remember what now. I went in and just couldn't stop looking at it so I bought it. It seems so odd I forgot about it. And yet now I remember it...not exactly clearly. Hmmm, I remember going back to the hostel and there were these two hot Italian girls and..." Jeff trailed off with a grin on his face, obviously remembering something particularly pleasant.
I tried to roll my eyes at his bragging, but I couldn't look away from the ornament. There were so many facets and odd imperfections and the light kept playing on it differently. It was endlessly fascinating. Something in the back of my head thought it was odd that Jeff was talking about getting laid; it wasn't his style. The answer was immediately there; what man would turn down the inducement of two women? What was wrong with bringing it up? It was better to be honest and open about these kinds of things, wasn't it? I followed the logical progression and the conclusion felt right. In fact it made me feel giddy. That seemed odd. It must have been the wine going to my head.
Jeff hung it in a place of honor near the top of the tree. "It's beautiful," I heard Rose say. There was something a little odd in her her tone, but I totally agreed with her; the ornament was lovely. It was turning very slowly from the radiator's flow and the blinking lights made for an ever-shifting display. I couldn't stop staring. I didn't want to stop. The more I watched the more relaxed I felt and the better the whole world seemed. My skin tingled. The ornament was searing itself into my retinas. It was like a flame, dancing around seductively. Seductively...why had the word come to mind? I wondered, but it was easier not to wonder. It was easier to watch the ornament spin and the lights to play on its surface.
It was starting to get really warm in the apartment. The thought bubbled up that I should take off my sweater. Why not? I had a camisole on underneath. Was a camisole decent in mixed company? I began to wonder again. Quickly the wonder faded as the heat increased and I couldn't handle it any more. I shrugged myself out of the sweater. The tingling had spread through my whole body leaving it extremely sensitized. I fought the urge to fondle my aching breasts and the need increased almost to the point of pain. The air didn't feel any cooler since I had taken off my sweater, but I noticed my nipples were hard beneath the camisole. How embarrassing! I hoped no one had noticed as I struggled to pull my eyes away to look around.
Jeff was standing in the same place he had been since he put the ornament on the tree. He seemed rooted to the spot, he appeared lost in thought and was still stroking his beard. Kevin was sitting cross-legged on the floor a little ways away and also seemed to be thinking deeply as beads of sweat dripped from his face. Rose was sitting in an armchair. Her red hair was damp on her brow over her hazel eyes which were slightly glazed over. She had taken off her cardigan and I saw her nipples were hard too; poking out through her t-shirt. I had never noticed before just how nice Rose's breasts looked. They weren't large, but the shape was perfect. I saw myself stroking them, my fingers drinking in the softness of her skin. Wait, why was I looking at her breasts? What was I dreaming about? I had never thought about anything like that that before...with any woman.
The lights bouncing off the mantle drew my eye back to the ornament and my mind had the answer as if by magic. Why wouldn't I be looking at Rose's rack? It was normal to appreciate beauty and to respond. That made sense. Everything made sense. Why did I need to ask questions? It was better to just look and feel and accept. At that thought a wave of pleasure spilled over me and it became harder to think. That didn't really matter now. I didn't need to think. I didn't want to think. Why bother when it felt so good to let go?
The ornament shone like the heart of a star and I was falling in to the center. It was a brilliant spiral and I wanted to just keep this sensation going forever. It was burning hotly and so was I. Every inch of me felt on fire. I noticed that I was sitting in a half lotus and my other leg was curled up underneath me and the heel of my foot was grinding into my mound through my jeans. I was a little surprised, but I couldn't bring myself to shift positions. It felt too good. Every inch of me was screaming with need and my body was demanding stimulation. A part of me started to protest that masturbating in the living room in front of my roommates wasn't ok. Was I so drunk I had lost all my inhibitions? The other part, the part that felt so relaxed and joyful, asked me why I should hide. We lived together, why should we bother with pretenses? The heat in the apartment was getting oppressive. I was in my own home. Why did I need clothes? It would feel so good to get out of my clothes.
I started to unbutton my jeans and looked around the room again. I felt a tiny bit of shock when I saw that Jeff and Kevin were both down to their boxer shorts. Something was going on here...something was wrong. Or was it? Hadn't I just been thinking how hot it was and how good it would feel to get out of my clothes? Of course the guys felt the same way. It must be all the wine we had drunk. I tried to ignore the bulge poking out of Kevin's shorts, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to see more. I had imagined what Kevin's cock looked like dozens of times before, but never had my daydreams been so vivid. I could see veins pulsing and almost feel what it would be like in my hand.