The Greatest Show on Earth

June 1999

"I think tonight's finally going to be the night." Said Eddie. "I can feel it."

"And it's your birthday too of course." Replied Fred, "All girls put out for a guy on his birthday."

"Why do you always have to spoil things by saying stuff like that? "Whined Eddie. "Me and Susan love each other, we just wanted to take the relationship slowly. We believe the physical act of love needs to be matched on an emotional level for it to be truly perfect."

"Bullshit." Retorted Fred. "Did she make you practice that speech over and over again until you believed it? Sex is sex, it can be great and it can suck. Sure some girls don't want to give everything away to a guy straight away but for God's sake Eddie, you've been going out for nine months. No eighteen year old can wait that long for sex in a relationship. I say you take her tonight whether the 'moment is perfect' or not."

"You really don't understand what true love is do you?"

"No, I don't. But then I'm gonna be having sex tonight, just like I did last night, the night before and the night before that."

"But can you truly be happy going through life like that?"

"Only a virgin would ask such a stupid question." Sighed Fred, putting a mock sympathetic arm around Eddie's shoulder.

"Fuck off." Reacted Eddie, pushing his friend away.

Eddie and Fred had been friends for as long as either of them could remember, they had grown up together, gone to the same elementary school and soon they would be graduating high school together. However this didn't stop them being the complete opposite of each other. Eddie was the quiet, sensitive drama student with the long-term girlfriend and still intact virginity, whilst Fred was outspoken, roguish Jock with a string of short-term flings to his name and a car with a badly damaged suspension.

Regardless of these differences though, they always looked out for each other and although they openly disapproved of the other's lifestyle choice, they have had a maliciously word to say either to or about the other.

"So whose the lucky girl this time?" asked Eddie,

Fred could tell that Eddie was clearly not interested in the answer but he was never one who was able to resist the chance to brag:

"Well last night it was Christina, the night before that, err... Julie and the night before that Monica or was it Rachael? I forget but it was definitely somebody from Friends. I haven't decided yet for tonight, but it'll probably be either Jenny or Paula; they've both been giving the appropriate signs that they are there for the taking, I'm just..."

"You really are something else, you know that?" scoffed Eddie disapprovingly. "You could catch AIDS, hepatitis, anything going around the way you do." "Oh no." protested a defensive Fred. "I'm always careful about that sort of thing, that's why now I only sleep with virgins, it safer.

"Ok now you are just taking the piss." reacted Eddie, trying not to laugh. "Anyway I've gotta go meet Susan, we've got dinner plans tonight."

"Ok then, I'll see you tomorrow, with any luck you'll be a new man."

"You just go do whatever it is you do in the evenings Ok?" Replied Eddie turning to leave, "Don't worry about me."

"I sure will." Confirmed Fred, "Maybe tonight you'll get to do what I do in the evenings too. Good luck mate."

"Thanks" said Eddie insincerely. And with that he was disappearing down the corridor.

"No worries." Replied Fred to in turn went off in search for this evening's company.

Eddie and Susan had actually met through Fred, they were in the same history class and they got on well. Fred always referred to her as his platypus, which he always took great pride in explaining how it stood for 'platonic pussy'; Susan was unaware of this fact of course. Nonetheless one day Fred had introduced her to Eddie and they hit it off right away. Eddie had never had a girlfriend before Susan yet he felt completely at ease talking to her. It was only a matter of time before talking turned to dating.

Eddie always did his best to be the best boyfriend he could for Susan. He bought her gifts on all the right days (plus some extra ones he made up), he did the things she asked without question and even understood her not wanting to rush her into sex until she was ready. If there was a better boyfriend on the planet, Eddie had certainly never heard of him.

It was now nine months later and Eddie could feel Susan was ready to take the next step. They were already very much in love and over the past few weeks she had started to become much more passionate while she was with him she had even given him a hand job one time a few days back. Yes, tonight had to be the night.

He rounded the corner to the corridor they were planning to meet in to find himself walking into his own personal hell. Susan was there but she didn't notice him; she was too busy sticking her tongue down Jack Donovan's throat. Jack Donovan was the school's Quarterback and the jockiest of the jocks. Eddie hated him with a passion and now he saw him kissing his girlfriend.

"What the hell are you doing?" screamed Eddie. "Get off her."

Eddie ripped the pair out of each other's grip and turned to Jack:

"What the fuck do you think you're playing at?! She's not interested in you. Continued Eddie trying to maintain at least some composure.

Eddie, please, don't..." pleaded Susan, but Eddie just continued:

"What's the problem? No girl wants you so you have to try and take what isn't yours?"

Jack just laughed at him: "Me chase her? She came on to me."

(By now a crowd had gathered in the corridor to watch the scene unfold.) "What do you mean she came onto you?"

"Eddie, please stop it..." urged Susan close to tears.

"No," snapped Eddie I want to hear what this shit has to say for himself. I want the whole school to hear how pathetic he really is."

Jack shook his head and chuckled: "You really don't get it do you? She came to me. She couldn't bar to be with you any longer."

"Jack stop it." Ordered Susan but he wouldn't stop...

"She was sick of having to look after this little lost puppy who obeyed her every word. A silly boy who wasn't even man enough to give her the fucking she was begging for."

"How dare you say that about..." began Eddie but he was interrupted...

Jack now turned to the audience which was enraptured in the events unfolding before them:

"This sad little excuse for a man was with this stunning girl you see over there for nine whole months and did nothing. It took him eight months to even pluck up the courage to take off her bra and even then she had to spoon-feed it to him. We are talking about someone who, even when a girl is pumping his own cock, will just sit there and wait patiently to come instead of actually fucking her."

"But she wasn't ready..."

"She was ready months ago you idiot! She was almost begging you to take her, why do you think she came to me? Because for the last month I've been giving her what you won't."

"You bastard!" screamed Eddie

Eddie threw himself at Jack but he was no match for the best athlete in the school. Jack just sidestepped him, before grapping his arm and pinning him against the lockers. Eddie tried to fight him but Jack was just too strong.

"Don't make an even bigger ass of yourself Eddie," threatened Jack. "You've already humiliated yourself in front of the entire school. Do you want to get an ass-kicking as well?"

"You're lying!" cried Eddie. "Susan would never... she loves me."

"I'm so sorry Eddie." Began a tearful Susan. "I just couldn't wait for you any longer."

"But I love you..."

"I'm eighteen Eddie, eighteen year olds don't fall in love. We have fun and enjoy our lives. I couldn't that with you, I'm sorry."

"But you said you wanted to wait..."

"Every girl says that. I wanted you to want me, to make me want you, but you did nothing. I'm sorry but I needed something else and Jack was the right guy at the right time."

"How can you do this to me?"

"I never wanted you to find out this way. I was going to tell you, but your birthday was coming up and I wanted to wait until after. I didn't want to hurt you."

"You did hurt me, and my birthday's today. I can't believe you did this, and with him."

"You heard the girl." Said Jack. "You've been dumped. Get over it and try to grow some before you get your next girlfriend. That is if there's anyone dumb enough to actually go out with you after this."

Jack threw Eddie to the floor: "Happy Birthday," he scoffed callously. "Now get out of here, me and Susan were in the middle of something."

With that Jack grabbed Susan and began to kiss her in front of a broken Eddie. The crowd cheered the new couple as they passionately fought to reach each other's tonsils. Eddie couldn't take and more and tried to run through the crowd out of sight, but a couple of the jack's teammates grabbed him and held him in place. They forced him to watch as the embrace went on and on. After what seemed like an eternity it was finally over and Eddie was let go. He ran down the halls as fast as his legs could carry him. He was a broken man. He would never live this down.

June 2006

It was exactly six years to the day since that faithful event back at school. It was Eddie's twenty-fourth birthday and he was sat in his apartment building alone. Much had happened since leaving high school. Despite the immense embarrassment and heartbreak caused by the corridor incident he had been lucky that his school days were basically over. He had been able to head off to drama school that summer relatively unscathed but for one thing: his vow to make sure that one day Jack Donovan would pay for what he did to him. Whatever it took, however long he would have to wait, he would get revenge.

Eddie may have been alone on his birthday but that is an artist's prerogative. He had actually made quite a success of his life. After graduating from drama school he had discovered that his gift lay in directing; he had already put on a small number of mid-profile stage performances in cities like Phoenix and Detroit and was now aiming to make the step up to commercials. His directing career was also the reason he was alone this evening, tonight may change his life...

The film studio, Dream Motion Pictures had just sealed a three-year contract to become the main sponsor of the Super Bowl from 2007-2009. As part of their marketing strategy, they had created the ultimate opportunity: a chance to direct the Super Bowl half-time show. It was a simple lottery open to anybody who could prove they had at least amateur directing experience. Eddie had entered signed up for the draw as soon as he had heard about it; the odds off winning were astronomical of course, but this was one of those once in a lifetime somebody has to win occasions which supercedes such sensical reasonings.

There was a special celebrity football charity game on tonight to raise money for abandoned NFL players and the draw was due to be made at eight o'clock during the half time performance. Former 'N Sync star, Joey Fatone himself was making the draw. Eddie had a good feeling about this, then again, his good feeling had been misplaced before... Anyway after watching what seemed like centuries of the most poncy gridiron action ever screened on national television, it was finally time for the draw.

There was the usual round of corporate backslapping to endure before finally Joey appeared on stage. The crowd went wild and he milked the cheers for all they were worth like the great on stage performer he was. The stadium's big screen was directly behind him, upon which the lucky winner's name would be displayed for the nation to see. Joey approached the large plunger that would choose the winner. The crowd went silent, a drum roll sounded and Joey hit the plunger. Eddie almost choked when he saw what happened, for there, in lights, read the name: EDWARD HENDERSON

January 2007 As it turned out the prize wasn't everything it had appeared to be. As director he was in some control over the creative input of the show, but besides coming up with ideas for his advisory think tank to accept or reject as they saw fit, he was almost obsolete. Eddie probably should have realized that the men in suits at Dream Motion were always going to play it safe in this venture, but it didn't make it any easier to watch his grand vision slip away. This was meant to be Eddie's grand entrance on the world stage, a chance to show the world that that 'pathetic little boy' from high school had become a somebody. Unfortunately that was going to take more than producing a show of scantily dressed cheerleaders dancing on a papier-mache Statue of Liberty.

There was one other factor which made Eddie desperate to put on a half-time show to remember: Jack Donovan. Since leaving college, Jack had got into College on a football scholarship and immediately began to make waves on the College football scene. After ripping apart the minor leagues he had embarked on his rookie season with the Chicago Bears. It had been a dream story for Donovan, inspiring the Bears into the playoffs without ever seeming to be troubled. Critics had called it one of the best seasons by a rookie ever seen, which could carry Jack Donovan all the way to Super Bowl glory.

That was the final straw for Eddie. If Jack Donovan was going to be starring in his Super Bowl then the half-time show had to be something to remember through the ages. A show that fans would be talking about yeas after the match itself was forgotten. He needed a hook.

A couple of days went by and Eddie has pretty much filled his notebook with ideas that lacked anything even remotely resembling inspiration; it didn't help that he had a bad habit of committing whatever went through his head to paper meaning that half of his ideas were fleshed out with plans to call his mother, or buy a new TV set. He was getting desperate, seeing as he needed a new notebook anyway, Eddie decided to go to the store to try and clear his head.

After purchasing a couple of ready meals and a snazzy new 200-page notepad, Eddie began to make his way home. It was then that inspiration struck him; he had the ultimate half-time show idea. He immediately dug out his new notebook and began to scribble thing down furiously. He was so preoccupied with his musings that he had not noticed an odd object floating towards him. The object was red and shaped like a teardrop, it was also no bigger than a basketball. Although very little is known about ball lightning, it is assumed that aimlessly walking into it is not an advisable course of action. This however is precisely what Eddie did.

The time Eddie know of the ball lightning was when an immense bolt of energy surged through his body. Waves of electricity caused him to feel like his very soul was on fire. Unable to react in any way, he just stood there as the shock ran through him until another surge threw him across the sidewalk. Eddie looked up, still visibly shaking to see the small ball of current flicker out of existence.

To Eddie's amazement he discovered that once the shaking ceased he was completely unscathed. There was not burning, no injury from the fall, not even a headache. What amazed him even more was that even notebook had remained completely intact although the ready meals were completely ruined. Eddie felt a new lease of life, he was lucky to be alive and he knew it. He opened his notebook and wrote:

#Note to Self: Buy lottery ticket.#

It was then that another crazy thing happened. He immediately got up, went back to the store and bought a lottery ticket. "What the Fuck?!" He thought to himself as he stood bemused outside the store, lottery ticket in hand. "Why did I just do that?" he looked at the words he'd written down minutes earlier.

"No way." He said out loud.

Not truly believing what had just happened, Eddie decided to do another test. He got out his pen and wrote:

# Store clerk gives Eddie a free bottle of Jack Daniels for being such a good customer.#

As soon as he'd finished writing, the gruff looking shop worker came outside and presented him with a free bottle of JD as gratitude for his custom. "This is fucking awesome!" thought Eddie to himself as he strolled home, alcohol in hand. For whatever reason the lightning strike had given his notebook magical properties. He knew he had to be careful, such a power should not be abused. He pledged to only use the powers of the book on occasions when it was truly necessary; like revenge on Jack Donovan. His time had come at last.

Before Eddie could devise a suitable course of action in designing Jack's downfall, he needed to see if there were any limits to the power of the notebook and he had just the right test subject in mind. Upon arriving home, we entered his study and began to write...

At nine o'clock that same evening, there was a knock on his door. Eddie was quite confident that he knew who it was. He made his way to the front door and greeted his guest:

"Susan, what a pleasant surprise. What brings you round here after all these years."

"I'm not sure." Answered a slightly bemused Susan. "I was just sitting at some when I felt compelled to come here, I didn't even know this was your house."

"Well even so," continued Eddie, not reacting in the slightest to Susan's obvious confusion. "It's good of you to drop by. May I take your coat?"

"Oh thank you."

Eddie smiled as he noted how everything was going to plan. "That's an interesting choice of outfit you've got on there."

"I don't understand what's happening here." Susan responded, "Everything seems completely out of my control. I don't know why I am here and I don't know why I wasn't wearing anything underneath my coat."

Staring at Susan's naked form, Eddie was loving every second of it. She had hardly changed since high school and was truly a sight for every red-blooded male, especially when sans clothing. Eddie decided he needed a moment to briefly collect his thoughts:

"Could you just give me a second? I need to go check on something in the other room."

"Sure, no problem."

"I'm sorry about this, if I'd known you were coming I would have planned something. Just make yourself comfortable and I'll be back in a few minutes."

With that Eddie made for his study to recuperate. The notebook was lying on the study table, he decided to double check exactly what he had written:

# Susan Green will arrive at my front door at nine o'clock this evening. She will come dressed in a coat and nothing but a coat. She will answer every question I ask honestly to the best of her ability. No matter what happens she will never suspect Eddie has anything to do with what is happening. She will do anything Eddie says without question. She will always remain calm. #

Eddie decided it was time to add a few more lines:

# Her body is craving sex more and more as the minutes go by. Just the sound of Eddie's voice will make her body become aroused. During sex Susan will not need commands, her lust will just take over. Sex with Eddie will be the best she has ever had. #

Now content that this was going to be an evening to remember, Eddie returned to Susan. She seemed to be fidgeting slightly as he reentered the room.

"Anything the matter?" He asked.

"I'm starting to feel really horny all of a sudden. It's quite distracting."

"That's quite a forthright thing to say to a guy when you are naked in his living room."

"I know, I..." she paused, her body was tingling at this guy's voice. Eddie Henderson; the guy who couldn't arouse a porn star was sending her sense wild, and he hadn't even touched her. "I just can't help saying how I feel right now. My head's all over the place."

"Well maybe, I can help you relieve some stress." He offered, reaching forward to put his hand on Susan's knee.