It was just a dinky little Chrystal Heights convenience store, but I didn't care. All I wanted was a couple candy bars and something to drink.
I took a beverage from the cooler. I opened it and began drinking on the spot. It was cool and refreshing, just like the advertisements said.
"Excuse, Miss?"
I turned around. It was the little old guy who owned the store. I had suspected he was going to give me a hassle. He had been watching me the entire time when I had eaten several candy bars in the candy aisle. His pained expression when I threw the wrappers on the floor had been hysterical.
"Yeah?" I said.
"Could you please pay for that before you drink it?" he said.
Oh, great. Like I needed this aggravation. "No," I said, "I won't pay for it before I drink it. I'll drink it when I want."
The old guy held up his hands. "Please, Miss," he said, "I'm not looking for any trouble here. I just need you to pay for the drink and the candy bars."
I looked down at the guy. "Hey, I don't need your attitude, grandpa," I said, waving my hand like I was shooing a fly. "Why don't you just go back behind your counter and quit hassling me, okay?"
He looked pained. "Miss, please," he said. "All I'm asking is that you pay-"
"And all I'm asking," I said, cutting in, "is that you shut the hell up."
"Miss," he said, "Please. I'd rather you didn't make me to resort to force-"
"Resort to *force*, old man?" I said. This was actually funny. "You? I'm twenty years old. You're, what, eighty?"
"Sixty," he said. "Is it truly necessary to be so abrasive?"
"It might be," I said. "What's abrasive?"
He sighed. "I just meant is it really necessary to do this?"
"Hey," I said, "I didn't start this, old man. You did."
"Please," he said, "just pay for the stuff you took and leave. Please."
"Bite me," I said. "No one tells me what to do."
"I'm sure that's the case," he said. "However, I do have to ask that you pay and leave now."
"Make me," I said.
"Miss, please-"
I pushed his shoulder. "C'mon, old man," I said. "Make me. What are you gonna do, kick my ass?"
Yes, I was being a bitch. So, sue me.
The old man stared at me for several seconds, almost like he was concentrating. Finally, he said, "Fine, you can stay. Just make sure you keep your shoes on."
The old man had obviously not been paying attention when I told him no one tells me what to do. I kicked off my sneakers and then slipped off my socks. I tossed my socks on top of my shoes.
"Oh, no," I said. "I'm barefoot in the store. Now what?"
He shook his head. "You shouldn't be so argumentative, Miss," he said. "Still, at least you've kept your top and bra on."
Boy, was he in for a surprise. I slipped my top up and off my body and tossed it next to my shoes. Then I unhooked my bra and tossed it on top of the growing pile.
"Oh, damn," I said. "What are you going to do? She's barefoot *and* topless now!"
The guy held up his hands. "Look, Miss," he said. "You've gone too far. You really have to keep your jeans and panties on. Otherwise, I can't let you stay in the store."
Oh, this was going to be fun. I gave him my best "don't fuck with me" look as I pushed my jeans over my hips and slid them down my thighs until they were bunched on top of my bare feet. I stepped out of my jeans and kicked them over to my pile of clothes. Then I slipped my blue panties off, twirled them on my finger and dropped them onto the pile, pretty as can be.
"Look at that," I said. "My panties and jeans are off, too. I'd say you've got a problem, old man."
His eyes slid up and down my naked body, obviously unable to believe I had broken his precious rules so easily.
The guy shook his head. "You rebellious kids," he said. "You need to stay away from that waist-high freezer right behind you. If your nipples touch the glass top, they're going to get hard and I won't have that in my store."
I turned around and looked at the waist-high ice cream freezer. I looked at the guy with mockingly wide-eyed innocence, then leaned forward and pressed my tits against the cold glass top.
"Oh, no!" I said, looking over my bare shoulder. "My nipples are getting soooooo hard!"
He looked at me as I leaned on the freezer, bent over, my bare ass high. He took a step back, hands up. "Miss, you need to stop. In that position, it would be easy to screw you, and there will be no screwing in this store."
The guy was obviously not getting the point that he couldn't tell me what to do. "Hey, old man," I said, "Get your ass back here and fuck me!"
The guy shook his head. "You can't make me do that, Miss! It's against the rules!"