The Chinese Tattoo

As I walked back to my apartment, I couldn't help but feel dejected. My latest dating attempt had failed yet again. The woman I had been texting with for the last week on that stupid dating app had a great sense of humor and looked amazing in pictures. Unfortunately, when we met up, she barely wanted to talk to me. She told me she didn't want anything serious and wasn't interested in hooking up.

I was tired of it all and wasn't sure what was going on. It wasn't like I was ugly or boring! And I'd had girlfriends in the past, too. I couldn't figure out why none of these women seemed to be into me. It felt like I'd become invisible to them or something.

As I walked up the steps of my building, my phone buzzed. It was a text from my buddy Kevin, inviting me to his house party that night. It had been a while since I'd gone out, and I was in the mood for some fun. Plus, if I was going to drown my sorrows, I'd rather do it at a party than alone in my room. So, I texted him back that I'd be there.

Feeling a little better, I went into my apartment, which I shared with my best friend, Mark. As I came in, he was watching TV on the couch.

"Hey, man, how was the date?" he asked.

"It sucked. Another disaster," I replied as I flopped down beside him.

"Damn, that's rough. Want a beer?" he offered as he reached into the fridge and pulled one out for me.

"Thanks." I grabbed the beer, twisted off the cap, and took a long swig. "I don't get it. Like I'm pretty good looking right? And I think I'm pretty funny. I've gotten the vibe from other women that they'd be down to have sex, but when I take them out for an actual date, it's like I'm boring or invisible or something."

Mark shrugged. "You just haven't found the right woman. It'll happen."

"That's easy for you to say. You've got Mei, and she thinks you're awesome," I replied bitterly.

Mark and his girlfriend, Mei, had been dating for over two years now, and everyone knew she was crazy about him. Needless to say, I was more than a little jealous. I'd had my eye on Mei for a while before Mark beat me to the punch. I mean, she was gorgeous and just my type, too--super petite, just a touch nerdy, oh...and of course Asian, Chinese to be specific. I guess that's something you should know about me right off the bat. I've got a major thing for Asian chicks. I mean I wasn't always like this, but my first real girlfriend was Korean and well, she basically rocked my world and I've loved Asian girls ever since. Hell, that's part of the reason I was in college at UCLA. Lots of Asian women to choose from. And seeing Mark hookup and then go steady with Mei kinda did a number on me. I mean he isn't any better looking or funnier or more interesting than I am. It just wasn't fair.

"Look, we both know that's not true. At least, not completely," Mark said laughing.

"Anyway, want to come to this party at Kevin's tonight? I know you don't have anything else to do. The best way to get over this latest crush is to go out and have some fun."

"Yeah Kevin already texted me, I'm down. Besides, can't pass up free booze," I said.

Mark smiled. "Yeah that's for sure."

That evening, we went to Kevin's rager. It was pretty packed as one would expect from his house parties. The music was pumping, the drinks were flowing, and the people were dancing and drinking as they should. Me and Mark immediately made our way over to Kevin who was surrounded by some of his frat brothers and a few girls. One girl stood out above the rest.

She was tall for an Asian chick (maybe half Asian?), and had a kind of edgy, punk vibe. She had hair dyed at the ends with black and pink streaks and had piercings in her eyebrow and lip. And tattoos! She had a tattoo on her arm that looked like a sleeve and even a neck tattoo of some sort of bird. She was dressed in all black, had black winged eyeliner, and was drinking a beer while looking bored. She caught my eye and immediately looked away.

"So who is that chick, Kevin?" I asked, nudging him.

Kevin laughed. "That's Samantha. Friend of a friend. She's a partier. A real wild one too."

"So, I take it she's not an easy lay then?" I said.

"Nah, far from it. She's always been super guarded when it comes to that," Kevin said. "Hell she might even be a lesbian actually."

"Fuck, that's a shame. She's actually pretty hot," I said.

"It's always the ones you can't have," he sighed. "C'mon, there are plenty of other pretty girls around here. All down to get it on."

He was right. There were plenty of hot girls. But for some reason, I was fixated on Samantha. I wanted to talk to her, to see what made her tick, to see if she would look at me the way I wished she would. So, I went over to her, just as Mark had done with Mei all those years ago.

"Hey, you enjoying the party?" I asked her, trying to sound as smooth as possible.

"As much as anyone can at a college party," she said. She looked me up and down with the same bored expression. "Why? Want to have a good time with me or something?"

I put my hand on my chest. "Me? Never. My name's Brian, by the way. Nice to meet you... Samantha right?"

"My mom calls me Samantha...I go by Sam," she said with a frown. "Brian...." she said amused. "Yeah, I know who you are."

"Oh, really? How?" I asked, instantly thinking the worst.

"lol dude half the asian girls on campus know about your fetish dude!" she laughed.

"W-what?" I stammered, blushing furiously. That was definitely not the answer I was expecting.

She grinned and started laughing hard. "Holy shit man you should have seen your face, I'm fucking with you! I saw that to most white guys who approach me. Don't worry about it though, everyone's got a type right? Yours just happens to be Asian apparently. Don't worry I'm the same way."

"What do you mean we're the same way?"

She twisted her head to the side and gave me a weird look. "Dude...look at me...I'm clearly not into guys...as in I'm very gay."

"So what's your type then?" I asked, somewhat relieved that at least she wouldn't shoot me down.

"Same as you dude. I dig asian girls," she said, smirking at me. "I mean it's less creepy for me since, ya know, I'm actually Asian."

"Well gee thanks," I said, laughing despite myself. "But it sounds like we have a lot in common."

"We sure do," she agreed. "Want a beer or something? You at least seem cool enough to talk with, unlike half the asshats at this party."

Samantha and I wound up talking for a couple of hours and proceeded to get blasted. Somehow, the conversation had gotten to tattoos and we were sitting on a bench outside on the back porch smoking cigs.

"I have an idea," she suggested with a glint in her eye.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Let's get tattoooos!" she exclaimed, slurring her words.

"Right now? It's like 2 in the morning. All the shops are closed," I said.

She waved me away. "Nah man it's LA. I know a guy who only works in the early hours. See this one?" She said, pointing to a spider web tattoo on her left shoulder, "I got him to do that right when the bars were closing, like a couple months ago."

"Wow that's pretty badass," I admitted, admiring her firm, smooth skin, and wishing she wasn't batting for the other team so I could get it on with her. "So, like what should I get?"

"Whateverrrr you want," she slurred and shrugged. "I'll call an uber, we can be there in like...I don't know 15 mins? I'll shoot him a text as a heads up. He's chill and I've sent him some customers so he'll hook us up."

"Well alright, why not. Fuck it, let's get some ink!" I yelled, sloshing my latest beer of the night all over my shirt. "Shit... I'm going to smell like shit."

Samantha laughed loudly. "You already smell like shit...Bwaha, anyway let me call the ride."

Ten minutes later, our uber driver picked us up and started driving towards downtown. As we were driving along, Samantha must have felt some second thoughts creep into my mind as my courage dissipated.

"Don't worry bro, it barely hurts. Just remember don't cry," she said. She leaned over and tugged at my collar, rubbing the bare patch of neck near my collarbone.

"You know you're actually sort of cute... but not cute enough to steal me away from my girls," she said jokingly, though I couldn't help but wonder how serious her statement was. "Maybe I'll hook you up with some of my friends? They love lanky white dudes with tats!"

"Yeah...yeah... sure Sam," I murmured, struggling to keep my dick from getting hard and failing at it, despite how drunk I was.

We finally made our way to the shop. A big bald dude with a septum and covered in tattoos opened the front door and gave Samantha a big bear hug. We quickly exchanged hellos. He was the tattoo artist, Big Carl. While he seemed a little intimidating, he seemed to have no problem welcoming two drunken kids into his shop in the dead of the night. As we stumbled inside, he quickly placed a towel with a drawing on a nearby table.

"Alright so Sam here said you wanted a tattoo? You got any design in mind?" he asked me.

"Just give him the same tattoo I got dude," she grinned, showing him a handful of Chinese characters etched on her upper back.

My vision was a bit blurry and my Mandarin sucked (2 semesters sophomore year didn't do much), but I stared at the characters trying to figure out their meaning.

"That's yi... right? Doesn't that mean like fierce warrior? Or Something like that?" I tried to recall.

She shrugged. "Yeah close enough, but half the reason I got it is because it looks cool. I mean I'm not even Chinese. My mom's Vietnamese in case you were wondering," she laughed.

Fighter or warrior or whatever it meant seemed like the perfect thing for a guy like me. I mean not really, but fuck it I was here, might as well go for it. Even if she had been joking before, maybe the tattoo would really attract them to me? Who knows? I didn't have much time to ponder, though.

"Yeah let's get that then," I told him, "Ummm maybe like... here?" I said, pointing at the underside of my right arm.

"Sure, should be a quick one, not too much work to it," he replied, washing his hands and prepping his equipment. "Though I got to warn you, those characters can have some crazy effects."

I gave the big man a confused look, "Umm what do you mean exactly?"

He smirked, "You'll find out dude. Sam can tell you all about it. She went through the same thing. Everyone reacts differently."

I looked at her puzzled. She shrugged, took out another cigarette and lit it. "Just shut up and get your tat man. And don't say I didn't warn you," she said cryptically.

Big Carl moved swiftly, and before I knew it, he was tattooing me and I was trying to breathe steadily while fighting against the waves of pain. Sam helped out by talking to me and cracking jokes while I was getting inked. As the pain began to subside, I decided to question my impulsive decision to get a tattoo in the middle of the night and be an idiot, the kind of questions that really should have been asked before I agreed to come along with her.

A few minutes later I was putting ointment and bandages on and I was good to go. Carl poured me a shot to celebrate my first tat. I told him to pour some more for himself as well since he did the lion's share of the work. He smiled and chuckled while pulling out a bottle of vodka.

"Sam, you drinking?" he asked as he was pouring some shots.

"Fuck yeah! And then you're gonna touch up this piece on my shoulder, it's looking a bit faded dude," she said.

We did the round of shots and Carl got started on Sam's tattoo, which seemed way more intense than mine. She peeled off her shirt in order to get the best access, revealing her bare (nearly flat) chest. My eyes bulged out seeing that her tits were pierced with metal barbells.

"Nice piercings," I slurred, trying to impress her.

"Ohhh, you like the nips, yeah? Yeah, I got them a couple years ago. Worth the pain," she grinned. "Drives some chicks wild for some reason."

Oh I knew exactly why it drove them crazy, same reason I suddenly had a tent in my pants. The three of us chatted and continued drinking as Carl kept working. He finished an hour or so later and poured another round of shots as he started closing up for the night. I pulled out my phone and saw it was past 4 AM, so we paid up, ordered an uber, and headed back to campus. Just as we were about to leave Carl yelled after me.

"Get my number from Sam and shoot me a text when the tat starts kicking in." He said cryptically, holding up his hand to wave goodbye and revealing the exact same characters tattooed on his under arm.

"What's this all about, Sam?" I asked as she rushed us out of the shop and into our ride at the curb.

"Don't worry man, you'll find out tomorrow....or whenever you figure it out!" She said laughing. "It's awesome I promise."

"Figure out what?!" I asked a second time, my intoxicated mind struggling to keep up.

She flashed me a devious smile, ignoring me as our uber driver continued his trip to campus. I stared at the bandage on the underside of my arm, wondering what I had just gotten myself into. What did it all mean and why did Big Carl think I'd realize something soon? She gave me another wink and reached over and punched me in the arm.

"Don't worry about it, it'll be totally worth it in the end," she said, continuing to laugh as we rolled down the highway.

***

When I woke up the next day, I felt like a jet fighter had dropped a bomb on my head. The light from the windows was way too bright, and my legs and arms were aching something fierce. I realized I had fallen asleep on the couch. Hell I didn't even remember getting home! When did I part with Sam? God, we drank a lot last night.

"Morning Brian," came a voice. My roommate Mark.

"Hey..." I tried to mumble, my mouth feeling thick and slimy. "Got any Tylenol? God, my head..."

He laughed and quickly disappeared, then reappeared with a couple of tablets and a cup of water. "Here you go, bud," he said. "Looks like you and Sam had quite the party. You...umm get lucky?"

I scoffed and sat up, downing the painkiller with the cool water. "Nah dude, you guys were right, she's into girls, but she's pretty cool. We hit it off pretty well and..." I paused, parts of the night coming back to me. I realized that my arm was on fire and turned it over to see the bandage, "and...she convinced me to get a tat..."

"You did what?!" he shouted, pulling my arm over to examine the clear bandage. "Holy shit, what is that? Asian letters or something?"

"Yeah... Chinese. Means warrior or something" I mumbled out.

Mark grabbed his laptop, pulled up google translate, and put the pic of my tat in the search bar. I yanked my arm away and gave him a death stare.

"Easy man, just wanted to see what it meant. I know a bit of Chinese from Mei but not that," he replied as the webpage loaded.

"Huh...interesting, definitely fierce warrior. Sam was fucking with you," he said.

My eyes got wide. "What did you say?"

"It literally says 'Command, Control, Ignore' on it. See?" he said turning his laptop toward me. I saw the letters on the screen in English as well as Chinese characters. He was right. Sam had played me, though it could have been a lot worse.

"Fuck....well, I mean at least it doesn't say like asshole or idiot or something like that, right?" I sighed. "I mean the letters are kind of cool looking, maybe it'll help me with my dating life. Chicks love tats man"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night bro," Mark said, laughing. "For now, how about we get some breakfast. I'm starving."

We got our asses up and dragged ourselves down to the Waffle House on campus and ate enough to keep us going for a while. I decided to not worry about the whole situation at this point. What was done was done. The only way I'd ever regretted a tattoo was when I got the barcode over my forearm.

We were finishing up when a familiar face walked through the door.

"Hey babe! Hey Brian!" Mei said, spotting us. "Sorry I'm late, was grabbing coffee with some friends....Hey is that a...." she paused, her eyes glazing over for a second before returning to normal, "... a tattoo? That's new." She came and sat down with us.

"Yeah," Mark started to say. "Brian and that girl Samantha apparently got a few tattoos."

"What really? Mei asked confused. "Wait... Samantha... do you mean Sam? Dark hair with pink streaks, tattoos, half-Asian about so high?" She made a gesture in the air as if to show Sam's height.

"Yeah that's her," Mark said confused. "Do you know her or something? What a small world."

She shook her head "no, not really", but her cheeks blushed and she got a faraway look for a moment, making me wonder. "I mean I've ran into her a few times and I think she was in one of my classes a couple years back, but we hang out in different crowds ya know. Not like a personal friend or anything."

I narrowed my eyes staring at Mei. That faraway look she just had... it was the same one she got when she was checking out my tattoo. Probably nothing, maybe she just had a late night at the library or something. Still, it nagged at me.

"Well," I butted in, "She's pretty cool. We actually have a lot in common and I had fun partying with her last night."

Mei nodded, "Not surprising. She seems like a fun chick. Perfect for you! Well except she's...umm...."

"Gay?" I laughed. "Yeah I know, believe me, I noticed. All good, still a cool person to hang out with."

The conversation eventually shifted and Mei ordered a coffee while we talked about our upcoming mid-term exams. Eventually my hangover won out and I decided to head back to the apartment to catch some more sleep, so we got the bill.

"Ugh jesus inflation is so bad these days," I grimaced, looking at the price for my meal. "You wouldn't mind paying for me, would you Mei?" I asked jokingly, giving her a sideways wink.

Just as I said that, Mei's eyes went into that weird staring gaze for just a second before she reacted.

"Sure, no problem!" she said with a smile, "Let me have a second to get my wallet."

This time I knew something weird was going on. First she had that weird vacant expression when she saw my tat and then when I asked her to pay for me, her usual defensive reaction was to get pissy and threaten me with a kick to the balls. Instead, she was totally cool with it. And even weirder was Mark just sat there smiling, having no reaction to his girlfriend agreeing to pay. Something was definitely off with her (and Mark for that matter_ but I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I kept my mouth shut as she threw down her credit card.

We finished up our payment and left the restaurant. I said bye to the two lovebirds who headed across campus to do some shopping. But as I headed home to try and get some more sleep, I couldn't get it out of my head. She had gotten weird and almost robotic for a second when I asked her to pay. Had I imagined that? Either way I would do more digging after my brain had recovered from its alcohol swaddled state.

***

I woke up a few hours later in the late afternoon to the sound of music coming from the living room. I groaned at the thought of rising, but the smell of pizza hitting my nose changed my mind. My tummy was on the verge of growling as I followed the delicious smelling scent.

When I walked in the living room, I saw a whole group of people: Mei, Mark, and a few of our friends. Including Mei's roommate Vivian Nguyen.

Vivian was... how should I put it? She was hot. Standing around 5'6, she had long flowing hair down to her back, dyed blonde, and was athletically built with an ass so tight and toned, you could bounce a quarter off of it. She definitely had that Asian Baby Girl vibe, wearing the typical Los Angeles apparel of Lulu lemon yoga pants and a tight crop top with some expensive name brand logo written on it. She didn't have much to show for up top (most Asian girls didn't of course), but her nights at the gym made the rest of her body sculpted like an Olympic athlete. Obviously I had gone after her in the past, but she had waved me away, something about not dating white boys blah blah blah. Not like it stopped me from trying though.