Res plena fiat fracta. Malus kintsugi mihi est; potens dispersa me petant animi incisi incisum!
James found himself slipping down to the floor, the book still on his bed, and the last thing he remembered was a soft golden web descending over his vision, tracing lines like a lightning bolt in darkness.
----
James woke to a soft, insistent rapping on his door. He looked around surprised from his position on the floor of his dorm room, feeling almost hungover. He felt dreamy and a little bit achy, like everything was in soft focus. When he looked at the door, however, things seemed to clarify. He stood and moved to the door.
"What's up?" he asked as he pulled the door open slowly, curious about who was knocking and a little embarrassed by the state of his room and the fact that he seemed to have just napped for an hour or two on the floor.
"James?" Sophia looked up at him with alarm in her eyes.
"James, thank god! This is the third door I've knocked on."
"Uh, hi Sophia" James let the confusion show on his face as he looked down at Sophia. What could she want? History notes? His mind flashed briefly back to his assessment of her in class that morning and he hoped the guilt didn't show on his face. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?"
Sophia was dressed in just a t-shirt and shorts, feet bare. As before, two small twists in the fabric that James courteously tried to stop his eyes from lingering on confirmed that she was not a fan of bras, that it wasn't just something she forewent the first day they met. Not that she really needed one, if he was being honest. She seemed to have come straight from her room in something of a rush.
James noticed something else, too. As soon as he had opened the door Sophia had started to drift closer to him. It seemed almost subconscious. She was now standing in front of him just a few inches away, staring at him with a look he couldn't quite understand.
"Uh, Sophia? I said is everything okay?" James asked.
That seemed to break her out of her trance. "James!" She started. "Yes. No. I'm not sure...listen, would it be crazy if I told you I think I'm having a stroke?"
James' eyes went wide with surprise and concern. "Oh my god! Should I call an ambulance? What happened?" His thoughts from class disappeared, overtaken by genuine concern and the adrenaline of a medical emergency pumping through his veins.
"I'm not sure. I was napping after Roman history this morning, then when I woke up I hadn't taken two steps before my vision went kind of...funny. It was like there was a lightning flash behind my eyes, except it was soft and gentle and not at all scary. It's gone now, but I feel like I'm underwater or something."
James was shocked. He was still worried about Sophia, but he couldn't fail to notice that what she described was more or less exactly what he had seen before he fell asleep. Or rather, before he passed out. And she was still inching closer to him.
"Do you need a doctor? That sounds scary and..." James trailed off as Sophia stepped between his feet and wrapped her arms around his midsection. The top of her head barely reached the middle of his chest.
"Uh, Sophia?" James sounded like a broken record, but he was surprised. This was new. She was murmuring softly into his chest, almost purring.
"Mmmmmm James. James." Her voice was small and contented, and she nuzzled into him like a kitten or a baby.
"Sophia, are you okay? I'm not sure what you're doing." Ever the gentleman, James was concerned. At the same time, this almost felt better than anything else had in his life. It was like an ache he didn't know he had was being soothed, and his vision seemed sharper. Maybe the cobwebs from his nap were dissipating.
"It's okay Sophia, it's okay." Not sure what else to say he wrapped his arms around her and gently rubbed her back. This elicited a muffled moan from the smaller girl, and she pressed herself against him more forcefully, her legs planted on either side of one of his. James noted with concern and, despite himself, a stirring between his legs that she was grinding her very small shorts against his thigh. He gently took her shoulders in his hands and moved her a step away from him, looking down into her face. She shuttered a little, a frown creeping across her face.
"God, I think I
am
having a stroke. Sorry James, I don't know why I did that. It just felt like the right thing to do, and I think I needed it. It felt so nice being close to you like that." Sophia was clearly uncomfortable, but honest. "In fact, I kind of knew it. Ever since that lightning bolt I've felt like I was in a dream and all I needed was you. This probably sounds crazy but..."
James let her trail off, thinking. "No, that felt nice for me too. I mean obviously you're very sweet..." Why was he talking to her like he was trying to let her down gently? There was nothing wrong here and she
did
feel good pressed against him. It was just too strange.
While James thought Sophia had taken a step closer, and before he knew it was pressed to him again. She had learned last time how good it felt to be that close to James, and she was much less bashful now. She didn't know what she was doing, but she knew she needed it.
James was once again surprised by the shy, petite, Asian girl stepping into his embrace and winding her body around his. His mind was in overdrive, and he couldn't shake the thought that she had described exactly what he had seen. And now here she was, pressing herself against him. No,
grinding
herself against him.
By now he was fairly sure she was not, in fact, having a stroke, but she was definitely acting weird. Still, James couldn't see how anything he was doing was immoral, and he was starting to enjoy it.
As if it were an accident, he let one of his hands wander under the thin material of her t-shirt to her bare back. She was warm and smooth, and he continued to rub her back, cooing vague assurances into the top of her head as she nuzzled his chest. Her hands were on his back, sliding down to the waistband of his jeans. She was clearly and unashamedly grinding herself against his thigh, and James had the good sense to close the door behind them.
"James, please, I need this" she said softly, almost at a whisper, into his midsection. "Please. I need you close. Closer than close. Please." She continued to repeat variations of this as she ground herself against him, her cheeks starting to flush and her motions taking on an extra dose of neediness. James was fully hard by now, a fact he thought her unlikely to miss. She seemed to take no notice for the time being, content to simply mold herself around him like putty.
As his hands slid up her back they lifted the front of her shirt and her bare stomach touched him. For Sophia it was electric. She let out an excited little gasp and redoubled her efforts, now sliding down his body like a pole, desperate for her bare skin to be in contact with him again. James, emboldened by this, started nervously to lift the hem of her shirt; as if this had never occurred to her, Sophia growled in her throat and, stepping back for the briefest of flashes, whipped it up and over her head, tossing it aside.
In the few seconds she had taken to remove her shirt James was met with the sight of her small, lithe body naked from the waist up and covered only by her small pair of gym shorts. Her flat, tight tummy was more skinny than toned; he could see her ribs when she drew a shuddering breath. There had not been much left to the imagination, but her breasts were indeed small, topped by chocolate-colored nipples that protruded further than he would have thought. James was not the most experienced lover in the world, and he drank in the sight for as long as he could. The only thought that rattled around in his head -- aside from the steady drumbeat of want and need -- was that he loved how her nipples looked; they must have been a half inch out from her body and the thickness of a Sharpie marker.