Subroutine Ch 05

Sally smiled when she heard the knock at the door of her student apartment, and then frowned as she checked the time on her phone. She'd been waiting for her friend Lori to show up, and she'd said she'd come over at 8 pm - and it was 8 exactly on the dot. Maybe it wasn't Lori. Her friend was never that punctual. Just in case, Sally checked herself in a mirror before answering the door. She'd spent the previous couple of hours doing her makeup and her hair, and picking out an outfit. Lori coming round was more of an excuse for that than anything else; Sally didn't get a lot of legitimate opportunities to dress up, and it was nice to be looking her best for a change. She'd settled on a nice, simple summer dress with a flower pattern, which was relatively modest but still clung to her soft, thick, curvaceous body in all the most flattering places. Its color nicely complemented her loose, blonde, shoulder-length curls. Sally didn't often have a high opinion of her own appearance, but for the moment she felt like she looked great. She hoped Lori would think so too - when she finally arrived, that was. There was no way the person at the door right now was her. Lori had never been on-time for anything with Sally in her life. Nonetheless, when Sally got up and answered the door, there Lori was, staring at her with a slightly spacey expression on her face.

"Lori!" Sally exclaimed with a bright smile, pulling her friend in for a hug. It had been too long since they'd had a chance to hang out like this. She knew Lori had been stressed about something, presumably school, and she'd been starting to worry.

"It's nice to see you, Sally," Lori replied, returning her hug.

"Come in," Sally said, ushering Lori inside. She was pleased to see Lori didn't look too tired or stressed. There were no worry lines on her face or dark bags under her eyes. Quite the opposite, she looked impressively serene and calm. It was a little unlike her, in fact, and Sally was slightly disappointed that Lori didn't make any comment on her appearance. Exchanging compliments was one of their usual rituals. A bit of positivity helped them both. For her part, Lori was dressed nicely but plainly, in a simple hoodie jacket and pair of jeans.

"Thank you." Lori followed Sally inside and through to her living room. "How have you been?"

"Same as always." Sally sighed for effect, and then smiled. She was so glad for the chance to chat with Lori, like they'd always used to do every day. They'd met in their first week of college, at a random fresher orientation, and had hit it off straight away. They'd noticed each other looking a little awkward amongst the crowd and had decided to talk, and found they had a lot in common. But later they'd ended up moving into places that were on the opposite side of campus, and as school got busier they'd started to run out of chances to see each other. "Still single, of course. And school is... bleh. Not bad, just, y'know, boring. But it's nothing I can't handle. It's just driving me a little crazy, spending all my time in the library or here, alone. That's why I was so happy you called. How about you?"

"Similar to you, for the most part," Lori answered. "I'm fine."

Sally had been hoping for a little more detail than that, especially given how stressed Lori had seemed in some of their message exchanges recently. "Are you sure? A while ago you seemed a little... not OK."

"I'm sure," Lori confirmed with a slight smile. "School was stressful, but it's fine now. I promise you, there's no need to be concerned."

"Oh, well in that case I'm really glad!" Inwardly, Sally was even more worried than before. It wasn't like Lori to be so stressed and then suddenly dismiss it. Maybe she really was fine now, but Sally had been expecting her to vent, or at least give a little bit of explanation. Especially since Lori normally worked so hard to keep on top of all her schoolwork. "So, you're here, now what do you want to do? We could just talk, or play a board game or something? Magic?"

"I was hoping we could watch something together," Lori said. She still had the same absent look and distracted smile on her face. Sally couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there was something wrong with her demeanor. She was a little too stiff, a little too emotionless, a little too robotic. Sally was feeling increasingly sure that there was something wrong, but she decided that the best thing she could do was try and give Lori and nice, fun, relaxing evening. Maybe later she'd open up about what was really going on, in her own time.

"That sounds great!" Despite her concern, Sally's enthusiasm wasn't at all feigned. She and Lori had similarly nerdy interests, and loved a lot of the same media. They'd spent many evenings before this one lounging on the couch in front of some TV or a movie. "We can even get some pizza! Just like old times."

"Yes! Although maybe later? I'm not hungry right now."

Sally nodded. "Have anything in mind you wanna watch?"

"Yes, actually. I've been rewatching some of Star Trek lately, do you want to do that?"

"Perfect!" Star Trek was a shared favorite of theirs. "Which one?"

"Next Generation," Lori answered. "I'm already a few seasons in. Is that OK?"

"Sure. The first couple seasons aren't great anyway."

Sally left Lori to get settled on her couch as she went to her room to fetch her laptop. When she returned and started connecting it to her TV so they could watch online, she noticed that Lori was sitting strangely. She wasn't slumped over on one of the armrests, as was her usual habit. Instead, she was sitting almost bolt upright. She seemed almost unnaturally composed, and her body was far more rigid than Sally had ever seen. She frowned. This wasn't normal at all.

"OK," Sally announced once everything was set up, as she settled herself on the couch next to Lori. "Which episode are you on?"

It turned out that Lori was already near the end of the third season, which was more than fine with Sally. They starting watching, making light conversation over the episodes as they did so, although Sally found Lori unusually quiet and non-responsive, only adding to her concerns. They watched a few mostly-good episodes before arriving at the two-parter at the end of the season: Best of Both Worlds. It was one of the show's most famous stories. After the debut of the Borg, a cybernetic hive-mind species fixated on assimilating all other lifeforms into mindless drones, in the previous season, Best of Both Worlds saw them attacking the Federation and even assimilating Captain Picard, the series's main character. Sally had watched the two-parter many times before, but she was happy to do so again. It was a great pair of episodes. When the first one ended on the reveal that Picard had been assimilated, though, Lori reached out and calmly paused the stream instead of allowing the next episode to play.

"Lori?" Sally asked, puzzled. "Is everything OK?"

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be assimilated by the Borg and turned into a drone?" Lori asked bluntly.

"What?" Sally blinked, completely taken aback. "Um... no, not really."

Lori just stared at her expectantly.

"Well..." Sally really had no idea how to answer. "It would suck, right?"

"Why?" Lori shot back.

"Why?" Sally echoed, puzzled. Wasn't it obvious? "Because you wouldn't have any individuality. Any freedom. Right?"

"But if you were a drone, you wouldn't care about it anymore, would you?" Lori retorted. Sally got the strange expression that Lori was repeating lines, almost like she'd rehearsed a script.

"I... guess not." Sally couldn't figure out why Lori was being so insistent. Still though, she felt she ought to be able to explain why being a Borg drone was bad. "But even so, you'd be missing out on, well, everything. It's not like the drones are capable of experiencing any happiness, or pleasure. All they can do is obey."

Lori shivered oddly at that comment, but quickly replied: "Yes, but in Voyager, when they freed Seven of Nine from the hive-mind, she wanted to go back. How can you explain that, if being a drone is so bad?"

"Only at first!"

"The Voyager crew had to force her not to return to the Borg," Lori pointed out. "How's that for freedom? And still, doesn't the fact she wanted to go back, even just at first, prove that being a drone was good?"

"That's... that's..." Sally was starting to grow irritated. She knew Lori had to be wrong, but she couldn't quite find the words to explain why. She was an English student for god's sake! "Lori, c'mon! Are you really trying to say you think being a Borg drone would be good? What the hell would be good about that?"

A strange, faraway look appeared in Lori's eyes. "It's difficult to explain."

Sally's frown deepened. Everything about the way Lori was behaving tonight was weird, and she couldn't help feeling like this conversation was somehow connected with that. Why would Lori be saying those things? Sally started trying to think of what would make Lori think it would be preferable to be turned into a mindless drone, but she was drawing a blank.

"But," Lori continued, after a long pause. "I can show you."

"What do you mean?" Sally was starting to feel distinctly nervous.

Lori reached into a pocket and pulled out perfectly normal-looking USB drive. "I found something on the internet. It's just a little video, but it makes you feel like you were a drone, just like you'd been assimilated by the Borg. It's extremely interesting."

"H-how does it work?" Sally asked apprehensively.

"Hypnosis," Lori said simply.

"Is... that really a good idea?" Sally started to wonder if this might be the reason Lori was behaving so strangely.

"Oh yes." Lori smiled the same weird, absent, blank smile she'd given Sally earlier. Sally shivered. Somehow, she was starting to find that expression incredibly unnerving. "It's perfectly safe. Just a harmless bit of fun. Do you want to try it?"

Sally mentally weighed the pros and cons. On the one hand, her gut was screaming at her that this video, whatever it was, was bad news and that she should stay as far away from it as possible. But on the other hand, she reasoned, watching it might help her understand what was going on with her friend. And besides, it was only a video, right? How could that possibly cause her any harm?

"Sure," Sally answered eventually. "I have to admit, I'm curious."

"Wonderful." Lori kept smiling at her. "I think you'll enjoy it a lot."

Lori reached out, plugged the USB into Sally's laptop, and opened it. There was nothing inside the folder besides a video file. Lori launched it in a media player, bringing up a simple black screen. She turned to Sally. "Do you have headphones? They will make it work better."

"Yeah." Sally grabbed a pair of headphones from her desk, plugged them in, and set them on her head. They were noise-canceling, and with them on the room suddenly felt eerily quiet. Lori looked at her intently.

"Are you ready?" Sally honestly wasn't sure if she was or wasn't, and so she hesitated. After a moment, Lori added reassuringly. "I'll be right here the whole time."

"OK." Sally took a deep breath. She couldn't quite figure out why she was so on edge about this. It was just a silly little trick, right? It had to be. Sally wasn't even sure she believed in hypnosis. It probably wouldn't do anything at all. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Lori tapped the space bar on the keyboard, and the screen sprang into life. Sally's eyes widened as she had the impression of the screen filling with thousands of numbers, all changing and alternating dazzlingly. But then she blinked, and the screen was black again. Or was it? It seemed to her like there were strange, faint shapes moving around all over the screen. Numbers? Letters? She couldn't tell. Before long, though, it became clear. Sally realized that it was, indeed, numbers. On a small patch at one edge of the screen, the shapes in the background were steadily brightening from dark grey to white, revealing themselves to be a shifting pattern of numbers. Sally's brow furrowed. What was this? Was it supposed to mean something? She couldn't tell. A few seconds later, the circular patch of brightened numbers starting moving across to the other side of the screen. The numbers themselves didn't move, but those on one side of the patch faded whilst those on the other side brightened. It was like a spotlight was being shone on the numbers, and now was slowly bring turned to trace a path across the screen. Once the illuminated patch reached the opposite side of the screen it reversed direction, heading back the other way. Sally, watching attentively, realized that the numbers had changed. As they faded into the background to become indistinct, they became different numbers. It was a nice trick, Sally thought. The video looked very professional.

The illuminated patch of numbers kept moving from across the screen, over and over again, each time revealing different sets of constantly-changing numbers. It reminded Sally of a pendulum, slowly swinging from side to side. Was that the point? Sally knew swinging pocket watches were a hypnosis cliche, at least in bad movies. It even moved a little like a pendulum, accelerating gently in the middle and slowing at each side before it reversed direction. It was a little soothing, but mostly kinda boring. Sally risked a glance at Lori, and saw that her friend was watching her reactions intently. That made her want to keep looking at the pendulum, as she increasingly thought of it. For whatever reason, Lori seemed eager to show her this, and Sally didn't want to annoy her by not taking it seriously. So, she fixed her eyes on the center of the pendulum as hard as she could, and waited for something to happen. Nothing did. Was this hypnosis? It didn't feel like it, although Sally was starting to feel rather tired. It had been a busy week, and as much as she wanted to hang out with Lori, she was looking forward to a restful night's sleep afterwards. She didn't want to fall asleep yet, though - that would be the worst. So, she made herself sit up a little straighter and open her eyes a little wider, and kept trying to get hypnotized.

Sally was pretty sure it wasn't working. No matter what she tried to focus on, she didn't feel at all hypnotized. She just felt more tired. Couldn't they just go back to watching Star Trek? All this staring was making her eyes feel so heavy. Sally was starting to really worry that she was going to fall asleep. To keep herself awake, she tried to focus on the numbers themselves. They had to mean something, she decided. Why would they be there if they didn't? They seemed random, superficially, but perhaps there was some kind of pattern or code she hadn't picked up on yet. That had to be it. But where was the pattern? Was it the numbers themselves, or the way they changed? Should she look for a pattern in each group of numbers that was revealed at a given moment, or in all the numbers that had shown up on a particular area of screen? Trying to think about all those patterns at once was simply overwhelming, but Sally was starting to feel increasingly convinced that there was, in fact, some kind of hidden meaning. She could sense it. It was like the numbers were whispering their secrets to her, but too quietly to hear. It was maddening, like the feeling of struggling to remember a word that was right on the tip of your tongue.

She had to focus harder, but it was getting increasingly difficult just to keep her eyes open. Sally wasn't sure why. It should have been easier to stay awake now she was suddenly fascinated by this strange video. But no; her eyelids felt impossibly heavy, and she yearned to let them fall shut, even for just a moment. But she couldn't. She might miss some part of the pattern unfolding in front of her. That thought was simply unbearable. She had to know. For Lori, yes, but also because she just... had to know. Sally wasn't sure if it was her own natural curiosity or something the video was doing to her, but she felt utterly enraptured by whatever kind of puzzle was lurking here. She didn't care which it was. She simply had to know.

The more she watched, the more Sally felt sure that she was on the brink of an amazing epiphany about the meaning of the numbers. Each swing of the pendulum, side to side, left her more obsessed and more eager to know more. But equally, with each swing of the pendulum of bright numbers, she became more and more exhausted. Sally realized she was slowly swaying from side to side on the couch, in time with the pendulum's swings, and started to worry that she would fall asleep before she figured it out. She also noticed, though, that the more tired she became, the easier it seemed to make sense of the impossibly intricate pattern of numbers on the screen in front of her. Maybe that was the secret, she wondered. Maybe she'd been too tense before. Too rigid. Maybe she had to let go a little bit, and let her mind follow where the numbers took her. That thought made a compelling amount of sense in the moment, and besides, Sally needed to rest. It would feel so good not to fight the tiredness anymore.

Sally finally let her eyes fall shut, the last set of numbers imprinted vividly on the inside of her eyelids. And as the last traces of her consciousness slipped away, she realized that she finally understood.

***

The next thing Sally knew, she was slumped back on the couch, her whole body feeling slow and lethargic. It took her a moment to remember where she was and what she'd been doing. She looked at the screen of her laptop. The video was over. Sally blushed. She'd fallen asleep. Next to her, Lori was still staring at her with that same absent smile on her face.

"O-oh, Lori," Sally began awkwardly. "I'm so sorry, I must have been, um, more tired than I realized. D-do you want me to try it again?"

Sally couldn't really remember what the video had been about, but she felt a strange pull to experience it again. There had been something fascinating about it, she remembered.

"No, that's quite alright," Lori said serenely. "It's perfectly normal to zone out a little bit. Please don't worry about it."

"Oh," Sally replied after an awkward pause. "OK." Did Lori really think she'd just been hypnotized? That was ridiculous, but Sally couldn't bring herself to own up to the fact that she'd just fallen asleep. She didn't want Lori to feel dejected or get mad at her. Maybe she could just play along. Sally felt a little guilty about the idea of misleading her friend like that, but maybe it was for the best.

"How do you feel?"

"Uh..." Sally wasn't sure what kind of answer she was meant to give, so just answered honestly. "Tired. Bleary. It's... kinda hard to think, actually." Sally was sure she could have only been asleep for a few minutes at most, but she must have gone down hard because she was having trouble getting her head up off her pillow. It felt like her brain was full of cotton wool.

"That's normal too," Lori soothed. "Just take a moment. You'll feel clearer soon. Try taking a few deep breaths."

Sally nodded and tried to take slow, full breaths, but if anything they only made her feel sleepier.

"What do you think about what we were talking about?" prompted Lori. "Any new perspectives?"

"Oh. Er..." Sally thought hard for a moment and then sagged, defeated. "I'm sorry, what was it again? I feel really out of it." When she tried to sort through her memories, everything got foggy. For some reason, she was reminded of someone turning up the static on the radio, until it drowned everything else out.

"Drones. In Star Trek, for example."

"Oh yes, that's right." Sally remembered now, just about. "Um... not really, I guess." In truth, she was still struggling to remember what exactly they had said to each other.