Prologue
Cathryn was a prude. She always had been, and annoyingly so. She considered that she had a highly developed sense of right and wrong. As a result, she had very few friends. If you asked somebody what she did for fun, they wouldn't have a clue, probably doubting that she ever had fun at all.
Cathryn thought that she experienced fun, at least that was how she saw it. Going to church on Sunday was her highlight of the week. She knew that the few people around her were also, "Good People". Except that they too considered her to be a prude.
She was 33 years old and still a virgin. She did not want that to change until she was married. But she had had very few boyfriends, all of which had become frustrated with her. She allowed them to kiss her, but never in public, never over-passionately, and certainly never with tongues.
Her latest boyfriend had taken her out twice before asking if he could kiss her goodnight β but she only allowed him a peck on the cheek as she stood on her doorstep. On the third date she invited him in for coffee. Having drunk the beverage, he asked if he could kiss her. She allowed him to, but pushed him away when his hand strayed from her waist towards her breast. She made it clear that she did not want, "That sort of thing".
He persevered for one more date. Again, after coffee he asked if he could kiss her. He kept his hands on her waist and did not move them. Just as she seemed to be enjoying the kiss, she broke away.
"Thank you," she said, but it seemed that was all she wanted.
Later, as she saw him to the doorway, he turned, took her in his arms and kissed her deeply again. She seemed to be responding again, but this time didn't push him away. He couldn't help himself, his hands naturally slipped down from her waist to caress her ass. Now she pushed him away and dealt him a stinging blow to the left side of his face.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"So am I," she replied and pushed him out through the door.
She hoped that he would call her and say sorry again, and of course she would forgive him. That was the Christian thing to do. She would tell him that she understood his typical male urges and that she would be only too happy to help him control them.
But he didn't call her and she realised that she had lost him. It took a few weeks for this realisation to dawn upon her, but eventually it did. It was a Friday and
all
she had to look forward to was church on Sunday.
*****
Chapter 1
Cathryn got home, cooked herself a meal and then sat down to read. She had a television, but she didn't watch it very often β there were far too many unsuitable programmes for her taste. Even the comedians she used to like seemed now to rely upon foul language and smutty innuendo.
The book she was reading was boring, but she wasn't tired so she didn't nod off to sleep as sometimes happened. She just sat, staring at the pages as if they were blank.
Suddenly, she had a strange feeling that she was being watched. She looked across the room at the door, which was open, but there was nobody there. The window was on a second floor, so there couldn't be anybody there. And then she realised that she had missed something. There on the armchair in the corner of the room sat a cat. A black cat.
This was not an ordinary cat mind, but a cartoon of a cat. She immediately thought that someone had played a practical joke on her by leaving a cardboard cutout on the chair. But when the cat yawned, she felt as though she must be going mad.
"Oh! Oh, what's happening?" she said tremulously.
"What's happening is that we're sitting staring at each other," the cat said in a deep, authoritative but definitely female voice.
"I'm going mad".
"You already are in most people's book," said the feline.
Cathryn asked, "What...what are you doing here?"
"Well, let's just say that I represent your... dark side."
"My... what?"
"Your dark side."
"You mean as in good and evil?"
"No, I don't mean that. I mean dark as in light and dark. Like an Irish coffee. Two complimentary parts of the same thing."
"You're not bad then?"
"Oh, but when I'm bad... I'm very, very good!" the Cat meowed.
"You still haven't told me what you are doing here."
"I'm here to help you live your life. You've been wasting it."
"I have not!" she said indignantly. "I've been leading a good, wholesome life. I've always supported charities and given my time up to help them. I go to church regularly. I pray for others all of the time."
"And what do people think of you?"
"I... I don't know. They think that I'm a good person. But does it matter?"
"Answer me this; if you stopped going to church, would anybody notice?"
"Of course! I mean, they must, mustn't they?"
But then she considered the question. Would they really notice that she was missing? She had flu last year and missed two Sundays in a row. Nobody said a word. Nobody
had
noticed!
"So what are you going to do about it?" she questioned.
"You mean, what are
you
going to do about it?
"You are going to start behaving like a normal human being. Doing things that aren't necessarily right, but feel good."
"But not bad things. I couldn't do bad things. Surely my 'light' side would help me fight that?"
"Your 'light' side has had its fucking ass kicked out of here. It won't be back for a long time yet."
"Do you have to use such obscene language? It's not necessary you know."
"Ah, but normal people do swear sometimes. You're going to learn how to do it and we're going to start now."
Cathryn just stared at the Cat. She was absolutely certain that she was not going to use bad language and nothing that the cartoon said was going to change that. Nevertheless, she felt very insecure. Once again she questioned her sanity. But before she could ponder on this for too long, the Cat spoke again.
"That thing that you refuse to do until you are married, what's it called?"
Cathryn paused, and then defiantly said, "Making love!"
"The other word."
"No. I'm not going to say it. I refuse!"
"Say it."
"No!"
The Cat seemed to smile. It opened its mouth and then began an ear-piercing wail. Cathryn slapped her hands over her ears, but it didn't help. The sound was so awful that it actually hurt.