I was startled when Fred came into my office unannounced. “Fred, what is it?” I said, standing up, trying to mask my irritation.
“Sir, I don’t know quite how to say this,” he stammered, blushing, clearly flustered. This was entirely out of character; he was usually loud and blustery, full of bad jokes he cribbed from television.
“Well, spit it out, Fred,” I said. “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
“Okay,” he said, staring at his feet. “Your assistant, she’s . . . I’m sorry.” He broke off.
“Shelia,” I said. “What about Shelia?”
“I don’t know. . . .” He began to sputter, and then finally he said flatly, “Well, sir, she’s sitting at her desk, fellating one of her shoes.” He sighed heavily.
“What do you mean, fellating?” I asked. It would be just like him to use the word wrong.
“I mean, she’s got one of her shoes off and she licking and sucking the heel,” Fred said hurriedly. “And she’s not being discreet about it either. It’s freaking us all out. I was talking on the phone to some of the big boys at the home office and I couldn’t hardly pay attention to what I was saying. They must think I’m a total idiot.”
They wouldn’t be the first, I thought, as I strode around my desk to go out on the floor and see just what the hell was happening. But when I stepped outside my office, I couldn’t believe what I saw. Sure enough, Shelia was sitting in her cubicle giving the heel of her shoe what by all appearances looked like a slow, seductive blow job. She was licking the leather on the three-inch heel, fingering its ankle strap, and occasionally pressing her nose against the sole, breathing deeply and moaning softly before resuming her sucking. Already the shoe glistened in the office’s fluorescent light. And that wasn’t all. Her tight-fitting shirt had worked out of her skirt, and one of her hands had wondered up underneath it. She was rubbing her breasts under her blouse, and it looked as though she were about to she might start masturbating freely at any moment. Clearly Shelia had suddenly lost her mind. Some of the other boys were looking at me from their cubicles with looks of horror on their faces, terrified by this eruption of apparently perverse sexuality right in their midst.
I knew I had to do something quickly. “Shelia,” I said, and she looked up lazily at me, her head lolling, the shoe dangling from her hand. She didn’t stop touching her breast; she just smiled lasciviously at me.
“Yeah?” she slurred. This wasn’t like her. Usually she kept up the professional etiquette to the utmost, referring to me unerringly as Mr. Hoyt.
“Come into my office, immediately,” I said. I stood and watched as she stood up and limped toward my office, delicately balancing herself on a tip-toe whenever she took a step with her unshod foot. She held the shoe aloft in one hand, and used her free hand to touch her hair and her face, which had become quite flushed.
I closed the door to my office and sat down behind my desk. Shelia didn’t. She stood in a natural contrapposto fashioned by her missing shoe, which emphasized the admittedly delicious curves of her hips and her ass. My assistant has a sweet ass: It’s true, and there’s no reason why I shouldn’t confess this. I don’t let it compromise my professionalism, but I do relish those occasions where her punctual and fastidious attention to her work warrants me giving her a congratulatory pat on her backside. She always smiles warmly at these friendly compliments, which makes me suspect she enjoys them even more than I do. I think she loves to know that she’s doing a great job.