Epilogue
Vale was happy to be home. Vale was happy to be in the place that gave her the most peace. It was late, but not too. There were still initiates and a few others milling about. Some specifically liked to study and practice during the quieter hours and she found that beneficial herself at first. It helped her focus solely on the work. Later though, Mistress had insisted on whatever distractions she could create. "There weren't often times," Mistress told her, "where the situation will allow you the ideal calm to do what needs to be done, so you have to create a place within yourself that it always there no matter what goes on around you."
And she was right. Crafting that place and building upon it over years had saved her life. She was awake now because there was so much to explore for her that she was genuinely restless. So restless that she wasn't sure where to begin,
Find the smallest steps first and climb from there
. Such worked for many things and she saw no reason not to begin with one of the issues closest to her.
It had to be done though. Sylanna had avoided her with zeal. That was fine in those first days because Vale had been in something of a state of confusion regarding recent events since their return, but it couldn't be allowed to fester, particularly now that she had some clarity and because Sylanna had expanded the scope of her avoidance to everyone. No one much lamented that, but there were louder whispers of her leaving and, worse, that she was engaging in the darker arts once again.
That was impossible, Vale knew, as she was part of her being taken and changed. Sylanna couldn't go back, but the why wasn't any student's business. General knowledge of the particulars would have only made her life here a different kind of difficult. Rumors festering didn't help either.
She resolved that now was the time to deal with what she could. Making her way to the farthest of quarters, she paused as she passed one of the larger study rooms to see Delvine at work. She watched her dust the books by rhythm and rote and then proceed to wipe down the tables and Vale could not help but be touched by sadness as she approached. The others had been returned home in the days that followed, convinced that it had all been a fever dream, their minds eager to latch onto such a notion so that the hazy recollections made any sort of sense.
This one though, was all but lost. Deres and Mistress had done their best, but there wasn't much to salvage. "Hello, Delvine."
She stopped what she was doing and turned. "Hello, Vale. Is there something I can do for you?"
She waved that away. "Not at all. It's late and I saw you working is all."
She looked around the room, her confusion evident. "Yes. Things need to be done." Delvine looked suddenly hesitant. "Is that all right?"
Vale was quick to reassure her. "It's fine. I just wanted to make sure you weren't working too hard."
Delvine looked away to appraise herself again in detached fashion. "I'm not tired." Looking at Vale again, "Things need to be done. Is there something I can do for you?"
The talisman was secured and the depths of its power would be explored in careful fashion. That was its future, such as it was, and this was about it for her as well. This was all she would be now. After the talisman finished with her, directed by someone with nothing but anger, rage, need, or whatever it was that drove him and no sense of the power he had, there was precious little left to rebuild. There were fragments of memories and the sense of self that a child had. She could only function in a world that asked little of her. She would need care and direction her entire life. Vale only hoped that somewhere within, was that sense of wonder that came with innocence and few cares. She hoped that somewhere there was some fragment of honest satisfaction with what her life was now.
"Don't stay up too late. You need your rest."
"I understand, Vale. Thank you. I'm going to go back to work. Things need to be done and I'm not tired."
Her expression mostly blanked before she turned back to the tables. Vale let her be and moved through the corridor until she was truly alone and she spent those few dozen steps contemplating where to begin, and resolved that she'd taken the first steps, literally, and she'd let Sylanna take the next.
She looked down to see light flickering from the bottom of the door before she bothered to knock. Even so, the silence that followed lingered so long Vale almost decided she was being ignored.
"Come."
She opened the door to find the blonde look that was her current preference. No one here, save Vale and Bryana knew her true appearance, and that was the way she preferred it. It invited talk as to what was beneath, but she could handle whispers and rumor. It was better that way.
The room was quite bare, which didn't surprise because, to Vale, Sylanna never seemed the type for conspicuous consumption There were no pictures or other decorations on the walls. There was a desk and the bed, though the quilt was quite ornate and, Vale, supposed, qualified as decoration. There was a mirror that took up much of the wall over the desk She did seem to mix various herbs and spices into the lamp oil to create scents and this one was a woodland spice and not at all unpleasant. Some used scents to help in meditation and it did not at all surprise that she was one of those that would.
She took a deep breath. "I like it."
"Mokshul root and Kabin spice." Another pause. "I like it, too," she said before trying not to wince at the awkwardness of the statement. "Obviously."
"May I come in?"
Sylanna nodded and, as Vale turned to close the door, Sylanna moved to sit on the bed so as to yield the seat, turning it toward the bed. Sylanna found the sense awkwardness only escalating, feeling a growing desire to flee the room; anything to avoid being where she was and feeling what she felt. Even so, dancing around the situation was cowardly and she had thought herself cowardly enough of late for holing up in her room in regards to Vale. She deserved better.
So when Vale was settled, Sylanna was succinct. "I am ashamed of my conduct in the cabin. I took advantage. So, how ever you feel I might properly atone for my conduct, it will be done."
"Perhaps you could tell me why, and we could go from there."
"It was a moment of weakness," she spat, thinking back on it. "You were under the influence of magic. My rational mind knew that. I wanted to clear it from you. I offered to. In the end I begged to. But the words you spoke and the look in your eyes and I..."
"What was it?"
Her mind was back there. "Your touch was so gentle. You told me that you didn't care about the spell. You asked me to show you my true face. You said you wanted me. And...I knew it was fake. I knew it was a product of the spell. But I was weak. I allowed myself to believe that there was truth in that moment for no other reason than..."
Her voice was soft so that she might not break what waited at the edge, "Sylanna?"
"I wanted to feel wanted. For a moment, I could lie to myself and tell myself that I was. I regret my weakness, and while I often consider apologies meaningless social niceties because they do not undo the damage done, I am sorry, and I leave it to you to decide what the penance should be. What do you wish me to do so that you may feel whole and at peace about what happened between us because I very much value your presence."
That did surprise Vale and she made no effort to hide it. "Seemed to me that all we have done is annoy one another."
"Yes," she admitted. "But we have a passable working relationship. More so, I think, after recent events. I know that there is no one else here, save Mistress Lia, that would be open to a working relationship of any kind, and she has enough responsibilities to contend with in addition to having no particular fondness for me, with good reason."
"Playing a role in kidnapping a child she loves will do that."
"Granted. My position here would be completely untenable without...someone."
"No one else will have you, is that it?"
"Essentially."
"Thank you?" A grin found Vale's round cheeks thinking of their first meeting. When she noticed Sylanna looking at her in somewhat bewildered fashion, "I'm not sure how desirable I should feel given that you made a point of calling me a little sow the first time we met."
"Please," Sylanna groaned, "The comment was meaningless beyond its intent to vex you and take you off balance so that I might escape."
"And you thought it would because...?"
"You know how the world works. It tries to suggest that only certain types of people are desirable. Blue eyes. Blonde. Thin. Breasts that make it almost impossible to walk. Depending on the part of the world, the ideal may change a bit, but the result is the same. If people don't fit that ideal and they know it, they don't like it pointed out to them."
"I suppose that's true."
"You know it is and you use it yourself when it suits you."
"And when was that?"
"Do you not recall a magic-drunk slave trader?" Her voice went to exaggerated highs, "Oh, my, yes, Lord Solos. I will let you lead me anywhere and do anything so long as you fuck me because obviously I can't get any on my own."
Vale blushed as Sylanna continued. "You used his perception to get closer and do what needed doing when you know the truth: that there is almost always someone who wants what you have to offer. You seem to never have any problem finding men that like what you have, and that seem to suit your own particular needs."
