From the "Frequently Asked Questions" section of the 'SomnoEssence - Real Time Hypnosis App!' website:
Q: I want to purchase your product, but I'm somewhat concerned about the steep price point. Does SomnoEssence come with a money-back guarantee?
A: Unfortunately, SomnoEssence is a little bit
too
effective to come with a money-back guarantee. Since it takes mere minutes to put anyone into an irresistible trance with our super-powerful hypnotic graphics and high-quality, directional subliminal sounds, even a twenty-four hour window for refunds would allow you to mesmerize and brainwash literally everybody you know before returning the product and getting its amazing benefits for free! We know it's expensive, guys, but come on. You don't get this kind of excellence for nothing. Borrow a little money, buy the app, and then make them forget they lent it to you. (And then make your boss give you a raise! After all, you've earned it.)
Q: I've been thinking about trying out SomnoEssence, but I'm a little worried about what might happen if my intended victim figures out what I'm doing. Is there any way to make sure they don't get mad at me for trying to hypnotize them with my phone?
A: Rest assured, there's no need to worry about the reactions of your intended victim when you've got the power of SomnoEssence in your pocket! The captivating patterns and mind-numbing stroboscopic frequencies of the World's Most Powerful Hypnosis App(tm) have been tested on hundreds of unsuspecting and even actively struggling subjects in order to bring you the ultimate in pure, inescapable hypnotic effects. Within five seconds of initial exposure, you can expect your chosen target to enter their initial light trance state, and from there you can deepen them into a full brain-melting experience that will erase not just their resistance but their entire memory of the experience! Nobody's going to get mad at you when they can't even remember what you've been doing to them for the last hour.
(Please note, SomnoEssence does not advise beginning a session when your device is at less than twenty percent battery. For full amnesia effect, please allow at least ten minutes of uninterrupted exposure to the SomnoEssence app before removing it from the subject's field of vision. Although meaningful resistance is impossible after the initial five-second window of exposure, the subject may retain some trace impressions of their experiences if not fully induced.)
Q: I've got some things I'd like to try in the bedroom, but I can't really do them while my partner is staring hypnotized at my phone. Is there a way I can use SomnoEssence to persuade my significant other to do kinky things while wide awake?
A: Of course! One of the biggest and best features of putting SomnoEssence's irresistible mind-controlling power into the palm of your hand is that your hypnotic conditioning doesn't have to stop once you wake up your hapless victim from their trance. Because SomnoEssence makes your mesmerized subject completely open to suggestions during the period of susceptibility, you can implant triggers and compulsions that will remain in effect even after the trance concludes. If you want your partner to wake up with a bondage fetish, a desire to please, or even just a return to trance every time you snap your fingers, SomnoEssence can help you make it happen!
Q: What is the period of susceptibility with SomnoEssence?
A: Good question! While the victim may not be able to look away after the first five seconds of exposure to the patented SomnoEssence hypnotic patterns, you'll still notice a period of defiance as their conscious minds attempt to fight the overwhelming power of the World's Most Powerful Hypnosis App(tm). Signs that your subject is still struggling against the inescapable power of SomnoEssence include a furrowed brow, angling the head away from the phone or tablet (their eyes will remain fixated on the screen at all times), and coherent speech. When these behaviors abate completely, leaving your new obedient slave passive and silent unless spoken to, you're in the period of susceptibility and you can safely implant any suggestion you want without fear of resistance! You can expect this to happen within five to ten minutes of initial exposure, but don't check the clock. Watch the person you're hypnotizing to confirm full compliance!
Q: I've got a nosy partner who knows my passwords, and I'm worried they may unlock my phone and use the SomnoEssence app against me before I get a chance to use it on them. Is there any way to resist SomnoEssence if you know it's coming?
A: The bad news is, no. There's absolutely no way to resist the mesmerizing power of SomnoEssence once it's turned on you. In our hundreds of hours of testing, even the subjects who helped to develop the application and understood exactly how the hypnotic strobes induced a cataleptic state were unable to look away, and they couldn't resist sinking into a deep obedient trance within minutes. There's nobody out there with a will strong enough to fight SomnoEssence--we guarantee it!
The good news is, that same inescapable hypnotic control can guarantee your safety as well. The first time you open the SomnoEssence hypnosis app and sign in, it will automatically activate itself and deliver a series of safety suggestions directly to your brain. These suggestions will hypnotize you to ignore any future attempts to hypnotize you by parties not directly authorized by you, the user, and to shake off any suggestions not directly imparted during the initial orientation session. As long as you maintain your SomnoEssence subscription, you'll be completely immune to the app's effects... because you've been brainwashed to be!
(Legal Disclaimer: The suggestions of the initial orientation session include certain inviolable instructions intended to protect SomnoEssence's interests in the event of a conflict between the end user and SomnoEssence, LLC. By clicking 'I Accept' on the End User License Agreement, you consent to any and all hypnotic modification of your consciousness in order to ensure that SomnoEssence, LLC can arbitrate disputes to its own satisfaction at all times. SomnoEssence, LLC reserves the right to modify the End User License Agreement at will. Termination of the subscription to SomnoEssence will trigger a second hypnosis session that ensures compliance with the terms of the End User License Agreement in perpetuity. SomnoEssence accepts no responsibility for actions taken while under hypnosis or as a result of hypnosis. Use this app responsibly.)
