Carrie was a liar. A big, fat liar.
She told Tracy that this guy was handsome, but it was obvious that the only person who would consider this balding dork to be handsome was his mother, and even that was a long-shot. She described him as stocky, but he was closer to fat. She said he was well-off, but judging by the way he was dressed, Tracy also doubted that. He was wearing tweed, for Christ's sake. She said he was charming, but this guy was boring. And he could not stop talking about his job. As if Tracy really gave a shit about digging up Egyptian mummies or some crap like that.
Carrie also said he was dynamite in the sack. Not only did Tracy sincerely doubt this, but the thought of finding out if this was true turned her stomach. Boring guy – Malcolm was his name, right? – struck Tracy as strictly a two-pump missionary devotee. She'd probably have to wrap herself in bandages and lie still just so he could get it up.
To make matters worse, after all the talk Carrie had done about this guy, Tracy had gotten herself seriously worked up over this date, and had gone all out to prepare. She had squeezed her lithe frame into her favorite dress, a very tight, very short black number that really showed off her long, tan legs. It even hugged her chest nicely, and added some padding to her somewhat meager bosom. She spent the afternoon having her shoulder-length blonde hair professionally styled, and even went so far as to have a complete bikini wax, just in case. Hot, rich fuck-machines were in short-supply, and if this guy was everything he was supposed to be, then Tracy wanted to make sure he recognized that she was something to hold on to.
But now, Tracy could not even be bothered to feign polite interest in this guy's boring stories. The night was obviously a complete bust, and she hoped he would take the hint and put a quick end to it. Well, maybe not a complete bust. The busboy at the restaurant was cute, and Tracy flashed him her very first smile of the night when he stopped by their table to fill up their water glasses. She made no effort to be subtle about it, and was sure that Malcolm saw. But she did not care, and if it took insulting this guy to hasten this date's end, so be it.
To his credit, Malcolm kept his poise. He took a sip of the water and, fingering the thick, gold ring on his right hand, said, "I get the impression that you want to go home."
"Yeah," said Tracy, "I have to get up early in the morning for work. You know how it is."
"I understand completely," Malcolm replied as he gestured for the check.
The drive home took place in complete silence. Tracy stared out the window as Malcolm drove. Occasionally, he would take his eyes off the road to look at Tracy with a quizzical expression on his face, which gave Tracy the creeps. "He better not try to kiss me," she thought, "otherwise he's going to be in for a big disappointment."
Malcolm parked in front of Tracy's apartment building. He got out of the car, and walked around to open Tracy's door. "Thanks," she said, dripping with insincerity, "I had a lovely evening."
"Well, the evening's still young," said Malcolm, "how about a nightcap."
Oh brother, thought Tracy, how thick could you get? "I don't know, it is kind of late," she began making her excuse.
"One drink," he insisted, "you have time for that."
Much to her surprise, Tracy found herself agreeing. She tried to figure out why as they entered the building, and walked up the stairs to her second floor apartment.
By the time they were inside her place, she had regained her senses and was determined to feed this guy his drink, and get rid of him.
"All I have is beer," she said, hoping a stuffed shirt like Malcolm would consider himself above brew. The last thing she needed was for him to get drunk here.
"Beer will be fine, thanks." He walked into her living room, and made himself at home on her couch.
Tracy grabbed him a beer from the fridge, not bothering to get one for herself. She handed it to him, and sat down on the other end of the couch, as far away from him as possible.
Malcolm took a long swallow from his beer, then looked at his date. "You were kind of rude to me tonight, Tracy." She stared back at him in stunned silence. Was this jerk telling her off, in her home, while drinking her beer?
"But that's ok," he continued. "I forgive you, because I think I understand. Now, you can be honest with me, Tracy, I won't mind. You don't feel that we're in the same league, do you?"
Tracy decided the time for politeness, or what passed as politeness for her, was over. "No Malcolm," She answered, "I don't think we're in the same league at all."
"And this made you uncomfortable tonight, and you wanted the date to end as quickly as possible. This is why you were rude to me."
Tracy sneered, "You hit the nail right on the head."
Malcolm nodded and took another drink. "So why do you feel that you're not in my league, Tracy? You're a fairly attractive girl, and you seem kind of bright," he said with a smile.
Tracy's eyes went wide at this insult. She jumped to her feet, and said, "Ok, I think it's time for you to leave."