-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~
This is the first chapter in a story intended as a spiritual "sequel" to another piece by another author:
Feedback
, by Markov Beest. Unfortunately, he never chose to post that story here.
It is my belief that I received permission to do this from the author directly back when I first considered this idea. All attempts to reach him recently have failed [undeliverable].
It is written as a stand-alone, therefore you do not NEED to read his story to understand this one.
That being said, it is one of my FAVORITE stories so I highly suggest you read it- if you can find it.
-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~-~=~
I'd like to say that it was an impulsive decision. You know, one where you have to make a snap judgement and then just live with whatever happens after, good or bad. Usually bad in relation to things like this. But I'd be lying if I tried to pull that. I had known about the prototype for going on 3 years before I finally had enough reason, nerve, a good swift kick in the pants- whatever it finally took to pull it off. Getting it all home involved three separate trips. But once I had the cap along with all those wires, I couldn't very well leave the rest of it in the warehouse.
I may have been forced to drop out of college, but that didn't mean I was dumb. I covered my tracks, shifted things around in the surplus warehouse so there wasn't a glaring empty spot where it had been sitting. No big blinking red sign screaming "something is missing here", just a warehouse full of all the things a university no longer needs. It had been sitting there for years, and with any luck it would be years more before anyone would notice its absence. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Allow me to back up a bit.
My name is Benjamin. Now I'm in my mid 20's, but not so many years ago I was a student here. I had a bright future ahead of me- or at least I thought I did while I was enrolled here amidst the throng of all the other naive college students. Until I was forced to drop out for... financial reasons. In the span of one year my parents divorced, and both of them remarried. I didn't deal with that so well- and in the process I sort of alienated all of my financial support. Even emancipated I still couldn't afford the tuition and fees on just federal loans. So I withdrew from college and took a job as a Janitor at the university instead.
The idea was to save up enough money from work and then use my "employee discount" to get back into school without bankrupting myself. There was no way I was going to go back to either of my parents with my tail between my legs and beg for help. I was going to do this all on my own.
That was five years ago. I still haven't gone back. I may have been smart enough to major as a computer systems engineer for a while, but let's just say I hadn't ever been forced to manage my money very wisely. And bad habits are hard to break. Especially when you pick up a few new ones along the way. But there will be time enough for that later.
I was in a rut- just living my life from day to day. I kept telling myself I'd go back to school someday. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to enjoy life in the meantime. Thing is, someday never came. And at the rate I was going, it wasn't ever going to. It took a hard conversation with an old friend to knock some sense into me.
Maggie all but threw the words at me. If there had been anything in her hands at the time I would have likely had to duck. "That is a load of horse shit and you know it, Benji!"
This late into the fight I was understandably a bit defensive, so I wasn't really what you'd call a good listener anymore. I was more focused on counter-attacking. "Oh come off it, Maggie. It's not like you're doing that great with your degree in theater! You anywhere near Broadway yet? Why aren't you in New York by now?" Yeah. I can be an ass sometimes.
"Fuck you too, Asshole. At least I finished my degree!" Her hands were on her hips now. I had seen her in this pose more times than I could count. We had been friends since we were in grade school. Back then she was nothing but legs and arms and a big bag of bashful thrown over her shoulder. I had grown up into an otherwise average specimen of what mankind has to offer. Avery height for a man, about 5'9", and what I would call a "healthy" physique but nothing to be overly proud of. At least I hadn't let my quarter life crisis go straight to my gut. Maggie, on the other hand, had matured into something particularly more attractive.
She wasn't terribly tall but was closer to six foot than five and a lean and healthy figure to go with it. Her long light brown hair reached well past her shoulders and she was particularly creative in how she styled it. Every day was something different- often with some new styling thing she found on the internet. Today it was in a double french braid going down the back. But it didn't seem to matter how she wore it- it was always gorgeous. Yeah, consider my opinion biased.
Her skin was just a shade darker than white, which meant that she never had to spend any time in the sun to get that naturally tan look. Brown eyes that were expressive as hell and a small nose that sat pertly just over her not-quite-pouty lips rounded out her face. All in all she was somewhere north of girl-next-door but not quite close enough to you-should-be-a-model hot. Her biggest flaw, in both of our opinions, was that she wasn't very well endowed in the upper chest department. But considering she was trying to be an actress, and not a porn star, that wasn't that much of a flaw really. To be fair, a lot of porn starlets are fairly flat chested too, at least starting out. But I knew better than to point that out to her during those discussions.
Even with all that history, in that moment, all her years of being one of my closest friends were on the edge of burning up and being tossed into the trash.
And I had to just make it worse. "Yeah. In theater. I was going to be an engineer." I sneered at her judgmentally.
"Was, Benji. Was." She declared emphatically. "All you're turning out to be is a Janitor. And not a very good one either."
My pride wanted me to defend my job to her, but the rest of me just couldn't muster the energy to do it. She took my grudging silence as agreement, and continued her attack.
"Don't get me wrong- the guys that clean the Theater at Clairemont do a great job. They take pride in their work and the money it brings home to their families. You have any pride in your work, Benji?" She demanded.
"Fuck you, Maggie. Where do you get off judging me, huh? Is this what our friendship means to you? I'm just some punching bag you can beat up on because you think you're better than me? Just get the fuck out."
She stared at me a few moments longer as if stunned into silence. I almost thought she was going to try and make me throw her out. Then her anger seemed to deflate with a loud sigh as she dropped her arms from her sides. When she finally looked back up at me, all I could see in her eyes was pity. Fuck that- I'd rather have her angry at me than pity me.
"Oh get off it. Don't give me that look. You're no better off than I am and you know it." I threw back at her trying to get her angry again. It failed.