Chapter Nine -- A Shitload Of Bad Ideas (Olivias 1-3, Kendra, Violet, Aisha)
So, look, the next couple of months were basically filled with me making a ton of stupid, and generally unremarkable mistakes, and while I could just yadda yadda the whole thing, it's important to let you know what you're up against, so I'm gonna run it all down as fast as I can without getting too caught up on any of the little shit along the way.
After I left Colleen in Vancouver and headed back to Seattle, the next person I flexed my power on was a college girl named Olivia, who would turn out to be the first of
three
Olivia's I'd fuck in the span of a season, just through utter dumb luck, and the name apparently being very popular among the twenty-something I was using to get the pressure to ease off.
I could go about two weeks before the bracelet would just start trying to throw every woman around me
at
me, and I learned that from the
first
Olivia, who had bumped into me on the dance floor at a night club, hauled me into a bathroom and fucked my brains out on a dirty club toilet while people were banging on the door that they needed to use the can.
At the end of it, she told me "if I'm honest, you might want to go see a doctor."
You can bet
that
scared the shit out of me.
Turned out, she didn't have anything, but she
thought
she might have, and she'd fucked me
anyway
, and that was the bracelet's first way of telling me I couldn't neglect it, and that I needed to give it a regular chance to express itself every week or so.
The
second
way of telling me the bracelet had was by
actually
talking to me.
Now I know you've already had trouble believing your dad's crazy friend when he's been telling you about this magic bracelet, and it
talking
to him makes him seem even more crazy, but eventually, you're going to start hearing it talk to you. Not a lot. Not often. Just enough to make the whole thing a bit more frustrating than it already is.
I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, Deke,
the voice in my head said on the way back from the doctor's office,
but the gods wait for no man nor woman.
"Who are you?" I remember thinking in my head.
Look at your wrist
, the bracelet said, as I turned my gaze down to see it give a little glimmer.
Hello there.
"What do you want?"
To get you your perfect mate, naturally, but you were in this 'I can ignore this' stage of our relationship, and frankly, I don't have the patience for it this go round, so we're going to move right past it.
"Okay, then what are we moving onto?"
The indiscriminate phase, I imagine, where you think 'I've got nothing to lose, so let's just go find hot women to fuck and forget,' and I can let you have a few months with that, just to get it out of your system. It's fairly typical of all my disciples to go through it. So carry on. Just make sure that you
do
carry on, if you get my drift.
"Disciples?" I thought to myself, but there was no answer. In fact, it would be several weeks before the bracelet spoke to me again.
After Olivia-1 came Kendra, who was a waitress at a high end restaurant that a client took me out to in Chicago, and while the sex was pretty damn amazing, it wasn't until afterwards that I learned
why
it was so damn good.
Turned out Kendra also went by the name Lucy Skydiamond and was an adult film star. Now, for me, that
wasn't
a dealbreaker, but for Lucy, she said, if she was honest, that she wasn't ready to settle down and have a real relationship yet, because she was still discovering what she wanted out of life, both emotionally and sexually. That was about two years ago, and usually I do a monthly search just to see if she's still doing adult content, but the last few months it's come up empty, so maybe she's retired and moved on to the next stage of her life. Who knows.
Around this time, I also got a
long
text from Colleen, who wanted me to know that she was starting an open relationship with an actor up in Vancouver named Colton, and that while we were still on for hookups every now and again, and to keep trading dirty pics, it wouldn't be as frequent, and that she was going to try and make a serious go of it with him.
On one hand, I was happy for her, glad she was trying to find something more emotionally fulfilling than our weird long-distance booty calls, I also felt a little saddened, because I'd really enjoyed just hanging out with her, and knew I was going to miss our weekly two-hour phone chats.
So I was a little down in the dumps when I met Olivia-2, who I sort of knew right away wasn't going to work, but she was
stunningly
gorgeous, and so out of my ballpark that I knew if I didn't take my swing now, I wasn't ever going to get a second.
Olivia-2 was slender, blonde and pale, with striking blue eyes and tits far too full to be real, but her surgeon must have cost a
fortune