Chapter One - Making Friends
Thomas lived in a happy little cul-de-sac, in a happy little suburb, because that's what people do.
He was an inventor and all the wonderful things he created in his basement had earned him a decent fortune. That wealth afforded him the option to choose, and he had chosen to live as normally as he knew how.
Thomas was a bit of an eccentric, however, so he did not always get along with people perfectly. He was often lonely, and sometimes it even made him sad. But, like always, Thomas was sure he could invent a device to fix all that.
A machine that will make people friendlier? Yes, the world definitely needs that,
he thought. He had never had many friends, so he was not exactly sure how to define friendship, however.
He decided to err on the side of caution -- he listed a bunch of attributes he would want from a friend, and then went on with creating a process that might encourage those features in a person.
Thomas got to work, and soon he had a prototype ready for testing.
Alice was young housewife, living on the same street. She often smiled at Thomas and sometimes even made small talk with him. She was definitely already a nicer person than most people so Thomas decided she would make the perfect test subject for his new machine. Having someone so nice to test on could give his machine an advantage on it's first run.
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining from a blue sky and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves. A scent of freshly baked cookies wafted into Thomas's basement laboratory. The time was right. He headed out.
"Good day, Alice," he shouted from the yard.
Alice came to the window and waved back at him.
"Fresh cookies?" Thomas said.
"You know it," Alice said.
"Could I bother you for a sample?" Thomas said.
"Of course you can," Alice said. "Knock yourself out."
"Actually, I'm kind of in the middle of something right now. Would you mind bringing me a plate? I'll be in the basement. Just come right down," Thomas said.
Alice hesitated, for just a brief moment, but then smiled again. "Of course. I'll be right over," she said. "Just give me five minutes to get the last batch out of the oven."
"Thank you ever so much dear," Thomas said, and headed back to his lab.
As promised, Alice soon followed. "Hello? Are you here?" she said, from the stairs.
"Thanks again, Alice," Thomas said.
"Wow. This place is amazing," Alice said.
"Oh, that's right. You've never been down here. Well, this is where I work," Thomas said.
Alice laid her plate of cookies on a table and spun around, her head on a swivel, taking it all in. She was mesmerized by the racks full of complicated scientific equipment, each with their own little blinking lights.
"Oh, it's so exciting," she said. "However do you keep track of what all of this even does?"
"It's not that complicated," Thomas said. "I've always just had a knack for science."
"What in the heavens is this, then?" Alice said, seeing a big, hulking machine in the corner. It was as big as a small car and even had a sturdy hatch on it.
"That's actually what I've been working on recently. It's a relaxation machine. I'm hoping it would give a person the equivalent of a full night's rest, but in just a few minutes," Thomas said. He'd long ago learned that it was usually smart to lie to people, to get them to do what he wanted.
"Oh, Thomas. That sounds fantastic," Alice said.
"Would you like to try it?" Thomas said.
"What? No. I'm not sure. Please don't take this the wrong way, but it's a bit scary," Alice said.
No matter. Thomas had prepared for this eventuality. He was nothing if not meticulous when he planned the protocols for his experiments. Alice barely even realized what was happening before the chloroform had already knocked her out.
Stronger than his scrawny body would suggest, Thomas had no trouble lifting Alice's unconscious form into the friendliness machine. He even pulled down the hem of her dress, to protect the poor girl's modesty. He closed the hatch, entombing Alice inside.
Thomas powered the machine up, fairly confident it would not be too dangerous. The machine hummed ominously and vapor hissed out from it's flaring cooling vents. A simple pull of a lever was enough to start the process. Alice should be safe, in theory. All the machine really did was just a gentle irradiation of the brain.
Alice looked peaceful and happy inside the machine, like she was just sleeping. Thomas smiled and went back to work on his other inventions. He was reasonably hopeful the chloroform would not cause any side effects, either.
Fifteen minutes later an automatic timer cut the power to the system. The hatch hissed open. Excited, Thomas went to have a look. Alice seemed like her normal self. For a moment, Thomas wasn't sure if she might not have suffered some brain damage after all, but then she opened her eyes.
"Good day, mister Hill," she said.
"Alice, please, call me Thomas. And it's Doctor, actually," Thomas said. "How do you feel?"
"Wonderful, Doctor Hill, I feel wonderful. Thank you ever so much for letting me try out your machine."
"You don't resent me for rendering you unconscious, and then forcibly inserting you into it?" Thomas said.
"Not at all. It was obviously the right thing to do, and you would know best, Doctor Hill," Alice said.
Thomas was relieved. He'd almost gotten worried there, for a moment. "Thank you, Alice. What a nice thing for you to say," he said.
A moment passed with Alice just smiling and staring at him.
"Say, Alice, would you like to be friends?" Thomas said, to break the silence, even though he didn't feel awkward about it.
Alice frowned. "I thought we were friends already?" she said.
"Yes, of course, but would you like to be even better friends with me? I mean, if you have the time. You must be awfully busy," Thomas said.
"Nonsense. I'm home all day. I have lots of time. I would love to be friends with you. I would love for us to spend more time together."
"Really? That's marvelous," Thomas said. He was glad to see that his experiment was showing such early promise. More data and more observations were needed, of course, but the early signs were beyond his expectations. He found himself much happier than he would have even guessed about the prospect of the actual friendship, too.
"It's not inappropriate, is it? For a man and a woman to be friends?" Thomas then blurted, as the thought occurred to him.
"Of course not, Doctor Hill. You're such a gentleman. I feel completely safe with you," Alice said.
Thomas dealt with his loneliness mostly by consuming copious amounts of hard pornography, but he sensed this would be an inappropriate time to bring that up in conversation.
"Truth be told," Alice said, "I've been looking for a new friend, too. The other wives in the neighborhood are sometimes a bit... competitive."
"How so?" Thomas said.
"Houses, cars, husbands, shoes, casseroles, you name it," Alice said.
"Oh. Okay. Should we start tomorrow, then?" Thomas said.
"How about right now?"
And that's how Thomas and Alice became friends.
Chapter Two - What Are Friends For
The early effects of the friend machine started to fade after a few days, but further sessions made Alice stay in her altered state for longer and longer. No one else seemed to notice anything different about her so Thomas concluded the process had not caused any excessive brain damage.
Thomas soon realized Alice had been a bit slow to begin with, however. It was not her fault, though, she was just a normal person after all, but something needed to be done. Thomas could not really be friends with her, otherwise. He modified his machine so that it would hopefully boost Alice's intelligence, quite significantly, at the same time as it made her a better friend.
Further chloroform was not needed. Alice was quite happy to volunteer now. There were some uncontrolled variables that still remained in the experiment, however. Alice had been a kind and gentle person to begin with so the doctor would have to find more test subjects, sooner or later, to get a better spread of data about the true effectiveness of his process.
The results with Alice had surpassed his his original expectations. Soon, the intelligence boost started to work, too, and Alice became a much more stimulating conversationalist. As an unforeseen benefit, she also became quite useful as an assistant in the lab.
A careful, delicate bud of true affection was starting to bloom for her in Thomas's complicated heart. These awkward little emotions brought familiar challenges with them, though. The more Thomas admired Alice's charming smile and her disarming comportment, the more obvious her beauty became to him -- her flowing hair, her kind features, the gentle curves of her vivacious body. Soon, Thomas's new favorite pornstars started to bear a curious resemblance to his new best friend.
One day, when Thomas returned from his daily jog, he found Alice in the lab, browsing through his porn collection.
"Alice! What are you doing?" he said.
