Castillo. Day Twelve. Saturday,
My door is locked again. Better safe than sorry, I told myself last night, after watching that movie with Heather and Stacey. Not that anyone tries to enter in the early morning, but it just felt more appropriate at the time.
We crossed a threshold yesterday -- I feel it clearly now. And I liked it. And I'm fearful for it -- its implications in the long term. Or short term? I'm not sure how long this escalation will take -- that is, if I don't choose to put a stop to it. But I don't know that I want to -- and I know, for a fact, that neither of them wants. At least not subconsciously. This is way too obvious.
Obvious.
It should be obvious to everyone I interact with the kind of sway I hold over them. It should bother them. They should care that I can make them do -- well, not anything, but lots. But even those with whom I have shared some awareness of my power don't seem to mind.
I would like to think it's because my intentions towards them are noble and they can feel it -- but maybe it has more to do with the way this 'domination' works.
I wake up with these thoughts, asking myself if it could only be turned on and off -- if I could control it. But I'm guessing that's not possible -- educated guess based on what little I know of my dad and the way he handled his relationships. Maybe I'm trying different things -- or maybe I'm just going through the same steps he did. A scary thought.
Right now, I think to myself, I just need a hug.
I rise from my bed and stretch; I don't think of putting on underwear as I exit my room.
- Grant?
It's my mom's voice. I freeze, then slowly turn my head in her direction. She's exiting the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body. There's a slight moment of awkwardness as I recall her walking in on me masturbating in the shower. But that memory is soon replaced by yesterday's events at the nude beach -- and suddenly, the awkwardness goes away. I smile at her.
- Mom. Hi.
- Hello Grant.
She exits into the hall and walk towards me. That need for a hug returns so I hold out my arms. She leans in and I wrap them around her. My fingers touch her wet hair as I hug her tight. Her breasts press against my abdomen gently.
- That's nice, she says.
- It is. Good morning.
I lean my head into her neck; one hand caresses my lower back.
- You shouldn't make a habit of walking out naked, she scolds me with a smile. Besides, we have a guest coming today.
- Right, I remember. Dolores. When is she arriving?
- Late morning.
She pauses; I release her.
- So you don't need to get dressed just yet, she quips.
I giggle; she does the same.
- You're in good spirits! I tell her.
- I am. Thank you. I'm really looking forward to today. Plus... yesterday was truly amazing at the beach. Liberating.
I agree with a head nod, then fully release her. She steps back, casting a brief glance at my nudity, then resuming her trek to her room. I watch her walk away until she disappears inside.
That hug -- that whole encounter was wonderful.
I'M DOWN IN THE KITCHEN, having breakfast, when my two sisters come strolling down, still in their pajamas. Lazy Saturday, I tell myself. We exchange discreet looks and memories of the previous night emerge, threatening to arouse the soldier resting between my legs even as my mom eagerly talks about the day's plans.
- I'm not sure what Dolores will want to do, she quips.
- I'm sure you'll find lots of things to talk about, I tell her. After all, you have a long history.
My mother nods silently, drinking a sip of coffee.
- Do you want us out of the house? Stacey inquires to her.
- Oh no! You kids can hang around if you want. Dolores won't mind.
She pauses.
- In fact, on the phone, she told me she was looking forward to spending some time with the three of you. She was very grateful, Grant, for your help, the other day.
I don't answer immediately but I do flash a smile. My sisters glance at me. My mom explains.
- Your brother had to go into the other town for personal business, so he dropped by Dolores and helped around the house.
At the moment, I can't tell what my sisters are thinking. They know I've been intimate with Pauline, our neighbor -- that is, Stacey knew and I am certain she told Heather. There are no secrets between these two (for the better, I think). I'm wondering if they suspect what has transpired between Dolores and myself. I certainly won't bring it up here. I finally utter a few words.
- Was nothing, really.
- Well, she was adamant she was going to reward you for it, my mother says.
I have to resist the urge to smirk. I have already been rewarded twice in that regard, and now I'm wondering if Dolores plans to escape from my mother's influence long enough to reprise our previous encounter's activities. Not that I would mind, but it does beg the question of how my mother would react should she find out.
For that matter, what would she think of Pauline and me? Or Irina, the mother of my half-sister? Or really anyone else that has come into my harem? Would she accept it without any hesitation? I don't think she'd judge me -- in the same way she didn't judge my father. But the concern remains.
- What's on your mind? She asks,
I realize I must have looked absent for a moment.
- Nothing much, really. Just planning my day, I suppose.
- Any chance it can involve us? Heather asks directly.
Stacey gives her a scolding look for her directness, but my mother sees nothing more to it, so Stacey doesn't insist. I look at Heather.
- Maybe. I'm sure you could help me with something at some point.
Heather tries not to smile too hard. I shouldn't indulge her that much but I can't help it -- I see how happy it makes her. And I feel how happy it makes me.
- I'm going to do some yard work this morning, our mother chimes in.
- Oh! We could help, Stacey expresses.
- If you want, mom replies. There's not much to do.
- But it's something we can do together.
The sentiment is shared, even though Heather appears slightly reluctant at first -- until I concur with my older sister.
- Sounds like a great plan! Heather chimes in.
Anything to spend time with me, I suppose.
Thirty minutes later, the four of us are slaving away in the back garden -- a small plot of barely prepared soil. Mom's tending to her fruit trees. I'm digging in the dirt with Stacey and Heather; we're chatting in a low voice, with the sounds of nature and the neighboring area covering our discussion from my mom's ears.
- You can't be too needy, I tell Heather at some point. I know we both enjoy this...
I pause, looking at Stacey.
- We all enjoy this, I correct myself looking at her.
She nods. I dart my eyes back to Stacey.
- But we need to be wary of how mom perceives us -- and this.
- I know, I know.
Heather pouts for just a moment.
- I just... I feel so close to you now. So close to both of you. It's like this barrier has collapsed and I'm seeing the other side -- and it's just a wonderful rainbow.
- I need to ask something, then.
My tone is sincere and serious; both my sisters pay attention.
- Would you be alright if things between us never went further than they did yesterday? Because we all understand where we're headed if we don't, at some point, establish a limit to our... relations. Right?
It takes a moment but they both eventually agree with my assessment, allowing me continue my inquiry.
- So would you be alright with it?
- Do you mean... do you mean never doing it again, or never going further? Stacey asks.
I can't help but smile -- I have to be honest with them too.
