Cooler than expected night air hit him as he stepped out of the warm, crowded bar he'd sat in for almost an hour. This bar a drive from the bars Ned frequented in his own neighborhood. Wasn't a bad one by any means; it'd be the one he'd see himself coming to often if he lived closer. The attraction to this bar wasn't the bar itself, but a woman who'd occupied it a little longer than he had that night, one somewhere in the parking lot as he finished and stubbed out his cigarette on the pavement.
"Shit," he heard several feet away.
Adjusting his glasses, Ned went over to see what happened, to find the woman he'd seen in the bar bent over on her knees, looking and reaching for keys that seemed less likely to be there, the longer she searched for them.
"Hey," Ned said gently, trying to get her attention, but not completely startle her. She looked back up, surprise and a hint of fear in her face, due to her compromised position.
"Lost your keys?"
Her beautiful face huffed and sighed a breath of relief.
"Uh..yeah. I think they're down here somewhere."
"I can try to help you find them, if you like."
"Could you?" He smiled in how it almost sounded like she was pleading.
Parked next to the sports car she searched under, he unlocked his truck and got a flashlight from the glove compartment. The light shined under the car, revealing no keys around. The grassy downward slope near the parking lot meant it the keys could be further away; Ned was reluctant to look that far for them, but rose to do so anyway.
"Nice car, by the way."
"Thanks."
"Good thing it's a nice neighborhood, otherwise something like this would get boosted easily."
"Can't argue with that."
"Who's Dave?"
The woman stopped moving on the ground and looked up at Ned to see his flashlight pointing at the rear license plate. '4Dave' it read pretentiously to Ned.
"Oh, heh. Friend of mine."
"A guy from the bar?"
"Yep. He'd be the one drinking wine; he's always been interesting like that."
"I would've guessed boyfriend from how close you two got."
A thin eyebrow rose up at whatever implication Ned was making. Looking at him as he was half looking at her and down in the grass for any sign of metal, she noticed his interest and how he sounded too cool to be jealous.
"I'm sure there's some grey area between boyfriend and friend. We're close either way."
"Yeah, the benefits must be nice," Ned said as he bent down and rose with a set of keys.
Her smile of relief was brief as he almost handed over the keys, yet didn't. A disbelieving, sardonic laugh escaped her mouth.
"What is this, a robbery?"
"Actually, the reverse, Ms. Kennedy."
Dan reached into his jacket with his free hand to produce a badge.
"Funny, the badge or knowing my name doesn't make me think I'm still not getting robbed, officer..."
"Officer Ryburn. And if we go back into the bar and question Dave, I wonder if he'll have a similar statement to make about being robbed, in this case by a pretty girl named Kelli."
Both of them knew Dave was still at the bar like the rest of the patrons, deep into their city's major league game on TV. The last time Ned saw him, he seemed really at ease with Kelli at the bar. She seemed to talk with her hands, which surprisingly kept him from not stealing glances at her endowed figure. Whatever she was saying or doing, he seemed all ears. A lot of people got in-between them so Ned didn't see everything, but he swore her hands got within reach of him, enough to lift whatever she wanted off him, something no one else would notice as they were watching pre-game highlights or tending bar.
Kelli Kennedy smirked and leaned against Dave's car like she owned it, while Ned leaned against his.
"What do you think his exact words would be, Officer Ryburn?"
"Something along the lines of 'yeah, that woman made off with my car and my wallet. Of course I'm substituting 'woman' for 'bitch,' but I'd thought I'd be respectful."
Kelli snorted, acting taken aback. "But what makes you so sure those things weren't freely given to me?"
"Good as you look Ms. Kennedy, convincing me, other cops, and courts that you look good enough to give up a wallet AND car well over $50,000 after just talking, it does sound a bit dubious. But then again, it does sound familiar."
Ned pulled out a small notepad from his back pocket. Kelli took a few steps in his direction to peek curiously at his notes.
"Kelli Kennedy. A.K.A., Misplacement. Street performer, looker, velcro-like fingers. Often spotted in the vicinity of recent, strange claims of theft. Pretty expensive theft ranging from diamonds to briefcases. In summation, you get around, and things that get stolen get around you. That being said, 'Misplacement' kind of a cute name."
"MissPlacement," Kelli corrected him.
"Excuse me?"
"MissPlacement," she emphasized the extra s in her title, surprising the officer in how she made herself sound like some kind of debutante.
"What's the difference?"
"Pronunciation, for one thing; a single letter can make a world of difference in how you perceive things. You think things just get purposefully misplaced around me, but maybe I'm just a Miss with a penchant for proper placements, making sure things get where they belong."
"And how exactly do things belong in your hands?"
She didn't vocalize the thieving adage, "if you don't get caught, you deserve everything you steal." She didn't have to as they shared an understanding a cop and robber would know.
"At the risk of being an ass by assuming things really are as you say, your little bookworm investigative gloating leads me to believe this is some kind of warning, to the tune of 'stop doing this in my city,' 'get out of my city,' something contrived like that."
"Yeah, that would be a little contrived, so no, it's not a warning." Ned kept his eye on Kelli's face as he took a step forward. She felt cold steel wrap around her wrist, and looked down to see her left hand wrapped in handcuffs.
"It is a collar, though. We'll see what Mr. Dave h-"
At cobra-striking speed, MissPlacement's right hand snatched Ned's glasses from his face. The speed at which her hand moved and the fact that she wasn't even looking at him when she took them made him realize it happened several seconds slower than he would've expected to react. Whatever reaction he could muster was taken up by a set of hands waving in circles at his face, confusing him even more than the sudden absence of his glasses. Dan Ryburn's eyesight was often marred without them, but the worry lessened as most of his vision was the clarity of her graceful, deliberate hand motions of varying speeds, framed by a blur that would've been with or without the need for glasses.
"What is happening" was all his mind managed to ask in the assumed seconds, but literal minutes MissPlacement held his attention, echoing and being indirectly answered by fingers with predictable and unpredictable gestures, the shimmering of sparkly clear nail polish and a steel bracelet off of street lights, and words that sounded like whispers coming from somewhere. Some of that shine disappeared, but the whispers and the fingers grew more insistent.
A few blinks and the louder sound of metallic clinking brought him back from her hands. He felt like there was a vacancy in his head that was being refilled. In that vacancy, he first noticed his glasses were back on his face, but one side was missing a temple as it shifted oddly against his face. He tried to reach up to fix it, and make sure the temple was still attached to the hinge, but one hand had trouble moving beyond the chain cuffed to his car door.
"Ta-daa," MissPlacement's ridiculing cheer uttered.
The bewildered officer struggled vainly against the door, trying to free himself, even at the cost of damaging his car. The speedy reminder of him being a cop and having a key flashed in his head as he reached for it in his front pocket.
"Stop!" Her order was loud and imposing enough to make him cease moving. Out of his vision, her fingers snapped, making him look to the left.
"Go!"
"What?"
"Up!" Ned looked up before he could question why. His ears picked up a finger snap attracting his attention from below.
"West!"
He didn't know which way to turn or react until a hand behind his head gave him a direction to settle on. "Sleep!"
Forceful commands of 'sleep,' 'deeper asleep,' and finger snaps corkscrewed their way into his limp mind and body, his head leaning more and more for support against her shoulder. Breathing deeply and slowly against her, he felt the disorientating confusion he was assaulted with extinguishing in MissPlacement's embrace, no longer cognizant of the fact that she'd caused it. He was just happy to finally find something that made sense. Sleep he understood; his reward for a good day's work as a cop, or his refuge for a bad one. The thought of him being a cop tried rising to the surface, but some blanketing force prevented his buoyancy from rising. It seemed irrelevant compared to the effects of sleep, how he could simply take a nap and feel things restart for him in significant ways...
***
Officer Ryburn slowly came to. He felt like he was waking from a dream of standing somewhere, but felt grateful that he was sitting, inside his own car somehow.