Spoiler alert: In the Genie series, adversity sometimes pops up before a satisfying climax is likely to be reached by Mark, the story, or the reader. If this strikes you as weird or unlikely to be fun, I bet you can find other stories that are more likely to scratch your itch. If tempted to mull what might happen to any of us, if given an independent-minded genie, read on!
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Mark looked at the elderly man and smiled. "I can get anything I want? That's crazy."
The elderly man smiled. "You'd be crazy to believe if it's not true. You'd be crazy to not believe if it is true."
"And I can have as many wishes as I want? No restrictions?"
"There are no restrictions on what you might wish for. There are restrictions on what I will provide."
Mark mulled things over. The old man had popped into his dorm room, without warning, appearing out of thin air. It was noon on a Tuesday. He hadn't smoked weed since the weekend, so he wasn't high. He didn't think he was psychotic. He looked around his dorm room and focused on a pile of clean clothes that had been sitting in his laundry basket for a couple of days.
"Would you mind folding those clothes?"
The elderly man walked over to the pile, picked up a wrinkled blue t-shirt, and carefully folded it.
"Jesus," Mark said. "Are you a genie or a maid?"
The elderly man looked back quietly.
Mark seemed confused. "How come you're not saying anything?" Mark was 21, and with his shaggy brown hair and freckles, he looked a bit younger. Aside from his sarcasm and impatience, he was an appealing if nondescript young man. "Cat got your fucking tongue?"
"If you ask me to 'fold the clothes,' I might try to do so. If you say, 'I wish for all the clothes to get folded,' and we then confirm that such is your actual wish, you'll get a response."
"Ok, Genie, I wish for all these clothes to get folded and put on my dresser."
"Mark, are you sure?"
"Yes."
Instantly, a huge stack of clothes appeared on his dresser. The stack included his clean clothes from the laundry basket, as well as dirty clothes from the floor of his closet, and all of his roommate's clothes, and all of their clothes from both closets, and all the clothes that Mark was wearing.
Mark looked down at his naked self and glared at the genie.
"What the hell? I said to fold my clothes, not all the clothes in the room."
"It is perhaps fortunate," the man began, "that my power and imagination are limited, or else all clothes the world over would be folded, and all its people would now be naked."
Mark sighed. "Ok, I wish for everything to be put back the way it was."
"Are you sure?"
Mark nodded.
The room returned to its former state.
At that moment, the door to his dorm room opened. In walked Joe and Jo, hand in hand. The name coincidence always made Mark smile, but this time, he smiled because he was looking at Jo in a whole new way.
Mark sat at his desk, while Joe and a Joe sat on Joe's bed. Chit chat. Mark noticed the genie had disappeared.
He also noticed Jo had dimples when she smiled. An athletic, self-contained freshman, Jo had light brown hair that was cut fairly short. She and Joe returned to their previous activity: sharing ear buds and listening to hipster music. Their heads nearly touched.
Joe was entertainment editor of the university's newspaper, which gave him an excuse to attend a lot of concerts and hang out with aspiring singer songwriters, like Jo.
Knowing they were listening to music, Mark whispered, "I wish to know if Jo is wearing a bra."
"Are you sure?" The genie's voice seemed to be coming from inside his head. Its tone was a little skeptical, as if questioning whether--amongst all of the possibilities available to him--this query was most compelling. Mark shrugged off that concern; genies, he thought, don't get to be skeptical. He nodded.
"Yes, she is wearing a bra," said the old man's voice.
Mark mulled over his situation. Anything? Hmmm. Mark looked at Jo, sitting comfortably cross legged on his roommate's twin bed. He looked at her mouth, which had sung a couple of sweet Joni Mitchell songs at the campus bar's "Evening of 1968." She had a clear-eyed, earnest, never-had-an-alcoholic-beverage kind of hotness. She'd never been at all flirtatious with him, but she wasn't particularly stuck up or bitchy. With solid justification, she appeared to have quickly concluded that Mark was just another guy, full of hormones and not full of depth.
Mark could think of no reason that he should use his new powers on someone who wouldn't like to be used, and who'd done nothing wrong, and who seemed nice.
But, he thought to himself, she's cute, and I can get away with it.
He whispered, "Genie, I wish to freeze Joe and Jo. I'd like them to stay frozen until I say they can wake up."
The internal voice asked, "are you sure?"
"Yes," he answered.
Mark looked, and, sure enough, they were frozen, and their eyes were shut. He walked over to Joe's bed. He waved his hand, no response. He bent in close to Jo and could hear the shallowest of breathing. He reached down and felt her left breast. "Awesome," he thought.
He felt the other breast. Also awesome, though he became aware that it was difficult to differentiate shirt, bra, and boob. Mark started to pull of Jo's shirt. Her body was not entirely rigid, but it also wasn't helping. With some effort, he was able to get one of her arms free.
He pulled off Jo's shirt. Gorgeous.
While worrying with the clasp on Jo's bra, it occurred to him that he hadn't asked how he'd come to warrant a genie. He'd found no lamp. Done no deed, good or evil. Signed no contract. Been the victim of no experiment gone wrong. And he was certainly not some quirky genius in biology, neurology, chemistry, computers, or whatever. No, Mark was a 30th percentile sort of scientist and adventurer. To get his genie, he hadn't even left his room. He'd figure that out later. He had other fish to fry.
Mark was stymied by the mysteries of the bra clasp. Suddenly, he noticed that the genie had returned to physical form and was standing near the doorway. Mark could tell he was old and wearing some sort of suit, but the details were indistinct. It occurred to Mark he wouldn't be able to pick the guy out of a lineup.
Only slightly embarrassed by having the old guy watch him flail with the bra, Mark had new instructions: "Genie! Glad you're back. I wish you to get rid of Jo's bra and transport her to my bed. Oh, and while you're at it, just make her naked." Remembering the clothes debacle, he added, "I'm talking about Jo, that's J-O not J-O-E. Oh, and I wish for her to not remember anything from the period in which she's frozen."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Instantly, he saw that Jo was face-up was in his bed, sheets to her neck. She looked peacefully asleep. Awesome.
Mark noticed a coffee stain on the pillowcase. How many weeks since he'd washed them? Jo wouldn't like stained sheets.
"Genie, I wish for my sheets to be clean."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
No more coffee stain. Mark smiled and whispered to himself, "I'm never doing laundry again in my life! Awesome!"
He kneeled next to Jo. Her nostrils flared the slightest bit as she breathed in slowly, out slowly. He touched her cheek. Warm. She had some slight freckles on her cheeks. She was wearing mascara; he hadn't previously noticed that she wore makeup. He'd never been so close before.
She had a zit on her nose.
"Genie, I wish for Jo's pimple to disappear and for her to get no zits ever again. No, wait, no need to get freaky. I wish her to get only 10% of the pimples she'd have otherwise gotten."
"Are you sure?"