Lexis Exploration Pt 04

Author's Note: This part of this story involves one of my oldest fantasies. One I will probably never live out but that cycles through my head often. Thanks to everyone who gives me an outlet for these strange and hopefully sexy stories. I hope you get out of them the pleasure it gives me writing them. As always, please feel free to comment or shoot me a message with your thoughts. It always excites me when that happens.

-S.J.

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I find it interesting how we settle into new routines, even if it is in the strangest of circumstances. In just a few months I had been mind controlled with my next door neighbors into having a threesome. I found out that this effect was lingering in me which can cause me to, occasionally, completely lose control and let lustful whims take over. But this also gave me a chance to figure it out more. What it needed in order to be kept at bay.

In the weeks since this event I started to personify this part of me. At first referring to it as my lust filled Mr. Hyde. But now I just call her Becky. I named her after an old classmate of mine, Rebecca Samualson, who was both kind, and also known for being willing to do whatever, whenever, wherever, and with whoever.

I find this particular personification helpful because I quite liked the real Rebecca as a person and thought the slut shaming that was done of her was uncalled for. While Mr. Hyde was a malevolent force, Rebecca was just trying to have fun living her life. Now, remembering that with my inner Becky gives me an easier time coping with the discovery of the new interests that I have.

There have been a few places where I have noted Becky acts up the most. The first is with my neighbor and friend, Caitlyn, and her husband. It made sense that this would be hard as we all shared the same hypnotic effects, most of which still affect the three of us. While I have had an easier time keeping things in control it has been hard to keep Becky at bay around them even when we are just talking on the phone or hanging out.

The other place Becky frustrates me is Evan, the man I have been quasi dating. But that has become less and less of a problem as I have found myself pulling away from him more and more with school starting. It's not that I don't like him as a person, but I feel that is the extent of it. And, without wanting more of the relationship, I sort of feel it is unfair to bring him further into the sexual mess I currently am. But, for some reason, Becky seems to always want more from him. Something I deny her.

In exchange for this abstinence I force on Becky, I let her control how I play with myself. I find that the more I give into pornography and stories that suit those deep desires of Becky the more she lets me have control the rest of the time. Plus, I have been able to be more present in those times. There are still the feelings of time slowing and working on auto-pilot. But it feels like she is almost showing me things about myself now rather than forcing me to experience them.

All of this has allowed me to feel relatively normal now that classes are back in session. Something I was very concerned would not be the case. I had imagined I would spend most of my time fantasizing about my teachers or classmates. But I have been able to keep that to a minimum. With one exception, Jessie.

Jessie is in my design class and from the first role call I was entranced by her. She is tall and thin with short, spiky black hair. Her eyes are piercing and so dark they are almost black. When she moves it is always with a swift purpose but her demeanor always comes across as distant and almost not caring. Her clothing seems to be exclusively the best picks from the local vintage shops which gives her a unique style that is half hip grandma, and half leather clad 80s punk. Her whole energy feels chaotic and for some reason that entrances me.

I find I am settled until I notice her. I will have my laptop out and be ready to work until I see her quickly walk in and sit, always at the nearest open desk to the door and with the intensity of a spider pouncing on prey. Becky chimes in from the back of my head, wondering what that intensity would translate to in sex. Would she know exactly what she wants and not be afraid to take it? Would she pounce? Would she strike?

Diligently taking notes for class I find myself suddenly distracted by her hand being raised to ask a question. Becky briefly seems to slow time as my eyes trace her pale skin from the cuff of her jacket, up her slender palms, to the long, thin fingers. What would those fingers feel like in me? How would they feel around my throat?

I find myself terrified to talk to her. Not because she intimidates me but I am completely unsure if Becky will let me have a normal conversation with this woman. And I wanted to be with her. I wanted her badly, but I found that, above all, I wanted to be in control. Not some lustful part. I was fine with being out of control with Caitlyn and Daniel. There was the safety that we were in this together. With Jessie, it was different. I wanted to be the one to tell her what I wanted; to express the wants I have learned about myself to her.

It was these thoughts I was deep in when I heard my name called. It snapped me back to reality and it was clear that Dr. Porter could tell I wasn't paying attention. He just paused, and reiterated, "You are paired with Jessie."

Well shit. Why can't professors just let us find our own partners for group work? What if you work better with someone? What if you are shy and awkward and already know someone in the class that you feel comfortable with? What if you are trying desperately to avoid telling someone in class that you want them to tie you to a table and pour hot wax all over your body? Come on professors, think before you act.

"Okay," Dr. Porter continued, finishing with reading the list, "There are just a few minutes left in class so not enough time to get a lot done today but maybe just get to know each other and exchange info."

My mind is still racing when I look up and see Jessie right in front of me. Her eyes look serious with their dark, thick liner, but her smile looks kind and genuine. "Hey, I am Jessie." She says, reaching out a hand.

As my hand touches her's a tingle goes through me. "Hi," I responded in a strangely quiet yet rushed voice, "I'm avai- I'm Alexis, um Lexi, I mean, what's your availability like.... For this project I mean. Your availability for this project."

Why am I like this? It is like meeting Evan all over again. Why can't Becky, the sure willed side of me, be in charge of just making me have normal conversations? Where is the hypnosis for that?

Her smile gets a little bigger. "You find group work awkward too?" She asked rhetorically before continuing, "Thursdays are best for me but I could probably make most days work with enough notice. Here give me your number."

She hands me her phone that already has my name typed into a contact list. I type it in while forcing my mouth closed. I can feel each pressing of a digit on the phone slowing in time and I know Becky is trying to come forward and do something. I can't let this happen.

It's awkward when someone hands you back your own phone and says nothing to you. It doesn't leave you with a lot of context clues to work with. Is this person just weird? Is she a bitch? Was she hypnotized two months ago and is now attempting to control a lust filled alter ego? Who's can say.

But even with me giving no helpful social cues, Jessie was, at the very least, kind. Keeping a big smile and saying "Looking forward to working with you Lexi." Before seeming to dematerialize in front of me as the class ended.

I packed up my things slowly, trying to regain self control. My phone buzzed. It was a text from an unknown number saying "This is Jessie, your new best design buddy."

My fingers moved automatically. Typing out words that I wasn't even paying attention to. It wasn't until I hit send that I was fully aware I was even writing something. But strangely, I found it wasn't a reply to Jessie, it was a random text to Evan: "Hey, it's been a while. I have been thinking a lot about you. Want to meet up?"

What the hell Becky? Why are we texting the guy?

Storming off and trying to ponder these things, my feet found their way up campus. I was irritable, and distracted. I could feel Becky grasping at control in the back of my head and had given myself too much time between classes for that to be a good thing.

I walked into the Museum at the edge of campus. It was pretty dead, but it was also 11 on a weekday so I guess that made sense.

The ticket attendant looked up, "Hello, One student ticket?"

"Oh," I said, strangely surprised by this, "I am here to speak with Daniel. Professor Daniel Eastman."

"Okay," she said, grabbing a directory. "Normally people go through the office for those visits. Give me a second. Do you have an appointment?"

"No, sorry. If it's not a good time I can get in touch with him later. Just let them know it's Lexi."

After a few minutes on the phone the attendant finally got back to me. "Hi, Lexi was it? They said Professor Eastman is doing a rotation on the floor. So he will be just out answering questions in the traveling exhibit."

They gave me directions and kindly didn't make me buy a ticket.

Aside from the young preschool kids racing to the dinosaur bones things were pretty quiet. The traveling exhibit only had a few people in it which is great because I wasn't ready for my reaction.

Rounding a corner I came face to face with a glass case holding an artifact. A leather headpiece with a blue stone. Under it was another stone carved plate. Memories of words being spoken and a my body being totally taken over flashed in front of me. It was like it was calling me, strengthening Becky, my inner lust, and calling for more. It felt so surreal seeing this just out in the open. It felt like it should be behind the lock and key somewhere. In an old vault with a heavy door. Having it in a place where people took field trips felt too common.

From behind me a familiar voice said "Weird, isn't it? If the people who walk through this room every day only knew."

I turned to see Daniel walking up. "Yeah," I replied, almost gasping, "honestly the whole room feels weird. Like it is foreign and strange to me but home that part of me, for Becky."

To my surprise he laughed. "Sorry," he said, still chuckling, "I just forgot you named it Becky?"

"Yeah," I agreed, "But it had to be named. It was just too confusing otherwise. I took it to personally and shamefully and this helps me remember that it is only a part of me and the other part is that." I pointed to the artifact.

"Anyway," he said, "This is a surprise. What brings you up here?"

"Actually, Becky brought me here." I say.

"Oh, really?" His voice is calm and collected. But I see that little lust filled flash in his eyes and, by now, I know that feeling well.

"Oh," I say, correcting myself even though I now had a strong yearning not to, "No. Not this time at least. I meant I was having a bad day because of distractions. It's a whole thing and I needed a friendly face to talk to."

"Sorry," he said, a little stammered trying to collect himself. "I mean sure. I love that I am a friendly face. Also, we should probably get out of this room. I was planning on hitting up the food trucks by the student union for lunch. Want to join me?"

On the walk down I explained all the stuff about Jessie and me not knowing why I was texting Evan.

"See," I said, trying to be honest and vulnerable without being hurtful, "The stuff we did together was a lot of fun and you are a very attractive man and a good friend. Honestly, I think five more minutes in that room back there and you would currently be on top of me. I really enjoyed myself with Evan too, though I probably want to just call things off totally. But, in all of this exploration I have determined that I am like 62% attracted to women. And the weird thing is that I think that is average. Like I, Lexi, am like 80% attracted to women. I have been bad at admitting it to myself and others. But I think Becky is like 40% attracted to women. And this is like the one thing we disagree about."

After a second he just says "Huh, it's weird because I think that is one of the few things about this I actually understand."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well," he says in a voice trying to not sound like a professor, "I still have no idea what happened to us. The only data I have so far is the artifact and the writings around this. The whole thing was a fertility ceremony. And that is the interesting part because in other cultures fertility gods or rights often imply human fertility and sexuality but often also have a greater meaning like fertility of the soil or the crops, or having the farmed animals having young. There is a larger context around the word. But the case of that artifactfertility is specifically about human fertility. So it stands to reason that the ceremony would make your general sexuality heightened but also would want to set you up for continued fertility in the reproductive which would be men."

"Wait," I said, feeling a little nervous. "What happens if that doesn't happen? What happens if it is denied?"

"I don't know." He said, "You have been good at containing it recently. I mean it is easier for Caitlyn and me, when we need to we have this sort of free use agreement and can just-"

"Nope," I said, cutting him off, "No. Can't be saying that or I will NOT be able to control myself."

"So sorry," he said, "Anyway we don't really know. It could reach a boiling point and you wouldn't be able to contain it, or you could just become fine with it in time. Hell, proximity might matter. Like it was difficult to be in the room with the artifact. Maybe when it is gone all this will go away and it will just be Lexi. Not Lexi and Becky."

"Again," I say, "It's a shame you can't publish because this is all so weird and interesting. Hey, while I have your attention, something else has been on my mind. You and Caitlyn are special to me. One thing I think that artifact did was, on top of the sexuality, made us have a stronger bond than I thought possible. Strong to the point it made me nervous and I didn't know what to do with it at first. Yet, I am still trying to cultivate these other relationships. In doing so, how do I define what the three of us have?"

"Well," he said softly, "Caitlyn and I have been talking about that too because this also changes how we define our relationship. Ultimately define it how you want. You are special to us as well. Because of that we will follow your lead. If you want to tell people you are polyamorous and we are in your life sexually and romantically we would love that. If you want to be exclusive with someone and want to be our good friend we would love that too. I think we would all have to fight back some urges a little harder in that case, but we would and it would be worth it."

I knew what he meant the second he said it. And that warmth and acceptance only seemed to deepen my sexual desire for him. For a second time it started to slip again and I thought we would be rolling in the bushes but I was able to keep my cool.

Instead I settled for getting the twelve inch corn dog from one of the food trucks and eating it suggestively in front of him and giggling like an immature school girl.

He smiled with gritting teeth. "You know," he said, shaking his head a little as I was licking ketchup off of the side of the corn dog, "what's the worst thing is you know EXACTLY what this is doing and exactly how hard this is to fight off."

"Yep," I said with a devious smile. "Don't worry bud. I'm right there with you."

"So anyway," he said trying to switch the subject, "about free use-"

"Okay, okay, okay." I said somewhat begrudgingly, "I'll be good."

We both had a good laugh and were able to just have a moment talking about normal stuff. I caught him up in my classes, he talked to me about the part of his job that doesn't involve a sex hypnotizing artifact.

Eventually he went back to work and I went to statistics class.

It wasn't until after stats that I heard back from Evan. "Hey. It's good to hear from you. I'm swamped the next couple of days but I have a soccer game at the downtown rec center on Thursday at 7. It's the indoor field. Come by and we'll go somewhere after."

I couldn't give a definite answer either way. I felt bad just dangling him on this string but every time I went to tell him how I really felt I was stopped. It was intriguing for me as I am sure it was confusing for Evan.

These thoughts raced through my head the rest of the day and especially when I was preparing to sleep, which caused me to have an erotic and strange dream.

I was naked and bent over into old time stocks. The wood tight around my neck and wrists. There was footsteps behind me that felt familiar. I wanted them to be Jessie. I wanted know it was her.

I felt the leather strings of a whip slam across my cold skin. The pain leapt through me but knowing it was Jessie holding the whip excited me. I couldn't see her but could imagine what she would look like behind me. I wanted to feel her hand reach out and touch my naked skin.

I can feel wetness grow as I hear Jessie say out into the dark void, "She doesn't even know shame for her lewdness. This punishment is simply making it grow."

The image became clearer. I was on a small stage with dark silhouettes of people in front of me. One in particular caught my eye. Still a silhouette but I could see from the outlines of movement that he was vigorously masterbating.

Jessie brought the whip down on me again before saying, "Do you see the lewdness you inspire? We should have him on stage so you can feel the full force of it."

The form jumps up eagerly and comes into detail. It is Evan. He is eager, nude and with an impossibly massive cock coming closer and closer to my mouth. But I hear my own voice I find I am able to say, "No."

Women's feet stomp around in front of me. "Jesus," says a familiar, exasperated voice to my left. I turn to look up as much as I can, expecting to see Jessie but instead and see my own tussled red hair in front of my face. I knew I was face to face with Becky as she asked, "And why not?"

"Because," I said, trying to take control, "We don't need him. And needing him will get in the way of so many things. Look, I get it, you have great taste. The stocks, the whipping. Hell, the faceless onlookers are hot. But the second we try to take this fantasy and move into real life, especially with him, it only complicates things."

I hear a voice just say "FINE" as the dream disappears completely.

Jesus, was my subconscious pouting?

It was a strange dream but I woke up clear headed. Going into another day of school followed by work I was originally worried it would feel overwhelming and that overwhelm would only drive Becky out. But she was silent.

That night I had intended on giving Becky control of my body order to subside her. But as I settled down for the evening it was like she was nowhere to be seen. It was weird. I decided to find a nice erotic, lesbian story online but when nothing really stood out I was able to just go to sleep.

The following day I felt well rested. And didn't even worry about design class with Jessie.

Eventually, we were split into our project groups. Immediately I could tell the difference. I felt like my old determined self again. Getting to know more about Jessie, and spending more one on one time with her, was a definite plus. I was still able to focus on what needed to be done. In the end, this seemed the best as we had time to chat after and start to get to know each other.