CHAPTER TWELVE: IT'S BETTER TO NEVER HAVE LOVED AT ALL
"You and Michael?" asked Annabelle,
"I don't think either of us even noticed it was happening. Every day he would oversee whatever tests were being carried out and then in the evening we would have dinner together and just chat about nothing."
"Every evening?"
"Yes. We kidded ourselves it was a precautionary test to check that my true mind was still intact after a full day of fucking, but he could have easily passed the job onto any one of his employees. The truth was that we needed each other's company."
"You loved each other."
"We needed each other." Affirmed Lulu, "I needed to feel normal, to fell like I was leading a proper life and that everything that what was going on during the day was a necessary evil in order to find a cure. I needed to have a portion of the day where I could live my life and be myself."
"And him?"
"He needed validation. To see for himself that a bimbo can still be a person; that he wasn't destroying people. He needed to hear me talk like a normal person. In a way, being friends with me allowed him to feel like he was a good man."
"And then you fell in love?"
"It was unavoidable." Said Lulu, "Looking back at how much time we spent together, what else could have happened? We became each other's lives.
"We started to hold hands over the table as we talked. Our conversations began to be about our pasts and the future as opposed to nothing. Some days we would talk about how our lives would be once I was cured and end up talking all the way through to morning. He was an incredibly honest and thoughtful man. A far cry from the sort of man one would imagine being in the bimbo industry."
Lulu paused for a short while, collecting her thoughts before continuing.
"It was probably about two years after I joined Venus that he finally told me he loved me, at the turn of the Millennium. We had just discovered what caused permanent bimbification so it had been quite a solemn evening's discussion as we tried to avoid the white elephant in the room that was discovering that we may never find a cure."
"How did you react?"
"I told him I loved him back." Said Lulu, "I remember his smile when I told him; there was so much outward happiness yet in his eyes I could see a sense of almost sadness at my answer."
"Why would he be sad that you loved him too?"
"Because he knew he may never have me. He only loved Lulu the bimbo, he wanted to love Louise and he wanted Louise to be the one who loved me. Discovering that day that I may be destined to always be Lulu meant that he may never get to know if Louise also would love him."
"I don't understand; you are still the same person."
"But in a bimbo shell, we both knew that my bimbo mind was more receptive to love as to love someone meant more chances to fuck someone. My bimbo body also meant I would always be physically attractive to him whereas who know what he would think of the true forty two year old Louise hidden inside. In a way it would have been happier if I hadn't loved him."
"That's so sad." Said Annabelle, "It seems that even falling in love in Chrystal Heights is different from the rest of the world."
"The next evening we were up again talking for hours. Again he told me that he loved me, but that he needed to know if he could love Louise before taking it forward.
"I understood why he said it, but it was hard to accept that he couldn't truly love me as Lulu. The more he tried to explain himself the more I didn't want to listen. I tried to kiss him."
"Why?"
"I spent the majority of my day having sex with people I didn't know or didn't care about. My body loved it of course, but just once I wanted to experience what sex with a person a really cared about felt like in a bimbo body. I wanted him; and in this body, it meant that of course I was incredibly horny."
"Did he kiss you back?"
"For a second yes, then he stopped me. He reminded me of what he told me the first time I asked him why he didn't fuck me, 'that he couldn't have sex with a person that he felt didn't truly want it'.
Michael knew the bimbo mind better than anybody. He would have known how much my body was in control of all decisions sexual and as such didn't want to take advantage of me in a moment of mental weakness."
"How did you react?"
"At the time, I wouldn't accept his rejection. I tried to force myself upon him; tried to grab his cock, I even threw myself to the ground in a vain attempt at giving him a blowjob but each time he stopped me in my tracks.
"I went to bed that night horny and pissed off, but the next morning I was able to think about things with a clear head and understood why he did what he did. I apologised to him the next night and I never threw myself at him again. I can't help but wonder though if that was the night that turned him onto the path of what he was to become."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: A SLIPPERY SLOPE
"After that night he began to stop watching me during my test sessions." Continued Lulu, "He would come now and again, but as soon as the orgasms began he would make his excuses and leave."
"He couldn't watch you have sex anymore?"
"Watching somebody you love fuck other people over and over is not easy to take at the best of times, but when you know it is you they truly love... it must have been soul destroying."
"How did you feel about it?"
"It felt like I was cheating on him, betraying him in some way. I began to picture his face on the endless nobodies that I was fucking my way through each day but it was a fool's errand, whenever I looked up I could see him, see the hurt in his eyes as I built to orgasm and the speed at which he left me there when I began to come."
"Didn't you tell each other how you felt?"
"How could we? We knew it couldn't make any difference. Our evening conversations became more and more awkward as we tried to find something we could talk about without falling into uncomfortable silences every five minutes. Six months later, our evening conversation sessions were cancelled. When it was finally proved conclusively that my condition was permanent, he stopped coming to my test sessions altogether."
"Did you ever see him again?"
"Of course I did. I was still a Venus employee. But it became very rare for us to see each other and it was usually by chance. He'd lost all hope that we could ever be together and it changed everything."
"What happened?"
"It was September 2001, the permanence of my Bimbification had been official for about three months and I noticed the nature of my daily tests changing."
"Changing?"
"Up until then the sexual testing I had undergone had been purely scientific. Guys would come in, we would fuck in the manner decided for that session and my brain and body reactions would be recorded?"
"Having sex with a group of men doesn't sound like science to me?" Annabelle commented, interrupting the flow of Lulu's recount.
"It is when you are researching Bimbos" replied Lulu, Even though you can learn a lot from blood and Psyche tests, the crux of the matter was that my brain reached its bimbo peak during sex, so just like a person with sleep disorders needs to be monitored when they are asleep, I needed to be monitored during sex."
"I suppose that makes sense."
"It makes perfect sense. And the way Venus when about it was purely scientific. The whole test was just about the sex and my reaction to it. Okay maybe there would be days when I where a string of guys would take turns to fuck my ass or I would be triple-teamed over and over again for an afternoon, but it was always just sex. The male testers would enter the testing area, we would fuck and they would leave, there was no gratuity involved.
"Then one morning that September, I arrived for testing and there was something laying on the test-bed waiting for me."
"What was it?"
"A uniform - Cheerleader uniform to be exact. I was told it was a new line of testing we were to try out for a while. They said it was to monitor if my body reacted differently to different kinks or fetishes. On that day I was to be the captain of the cheerleading squad, who was waiting for the college football team to get back to her dorm so that she could reward them for winning the State Championship. I was told that it was imperative I make the role as believable as I could."
"So what did you do?"
"I did it of course. Nobody at Venus had ever misled me and I knew that everything we did had to have gotten the okay from Michael (you do NOT go behind your bosses back in Chrystal Heights), so I believed that this was a genuine new line of research and I fucked that the faux-football team in the cheeriest, sluttiest way I knew how.
"In the ensuing months I was every object of desire you could imagine. I was dressed up in uniforms to act as a schoolgirl or nurse. I had to dress up in PVC and bondage gear, sometimes playing the dominatrix, sometimes the slave. I was whipped, spanked, tied and shackled. There was even one time I was left in the lab all night with a vibrator throbbing away in each hole."
"But that's insane."
"Of course it was. I know that now, but at the time I honestly still believed there was a reason for it all; that some good could potentially come from it. Whilst I still believed that Venus was working towards goals to help me and people like me I was prepared to do anything they wanted of me for the remainder of my contract. Of course, it became harder to believe when the sackings started."
"Sackings?"