No one could believe what actually happened. It was advertised as "Adult Entertainment," which was something completely unheard of here in the backwoods of Virginia, so Andy thought he might see what the commotion was all about. For many of the townspeople of Pike and War Eagle it seemed like the dark, evil world had descended into the quiet mountain landscape of their community. Of course for others it was a welcome diversion into the 20th, not to mention the 21st century. For people happy with the peaceful existence they found in the nearby hills and mountains of western Virginia, West Virginia and eastern Kentucky, the idea of big city nightlife was either a welcome break or a portent of doom.
Andy, a local sportswriter with a struggling newspaper, read the latest editorial and the subsequent response from the readers with considerable amusement. It seemed that only "in VA" this could happen, certainly not in West Virginia or Kentucky. Even though the state lines slithered through the sparsely populated towns they considered the local community, the distinction between the states remained significant. It was as if living 10 feet on one side of an invisible line could somehow affect your true inner being.
So as Andy stood in line to enter the show at the local meeting building and movie house he could see the traffic slowly pass, the drivers looking in disgust at the decadent proceedings. Of course there were people from all three states in line that evening, but it was those that belonged "in VA" that were attending. After a while the line began to move and the people shuffled past the ticket booth and rolled in the heavy, wood doors with the leaded glass inlays.
Once inside Andy noticed the musty smell wondering how the heavy fabric of the curtains and wall covering, along with the fabric seats had survived all these years. The building was air conditioned now, but the first ten years it was opened it only had heat so the material must have sucked in a lot of moisture from the humid air. Even though he figured his allergies would be a pain for the next few days, Andy moved on into the theater and found a seat.
A number of people spotted him, calling out his name and waving. As one of the few positive voices about the dismal local football teams he had accumulated a number of fans. Of course he had a few detractors too, those that disliked his more liberal views towards the other sports, especially the women's programs in the area.
When the theater finally settled down, the lights went out and the "adult entertainment" began. It was basically comprised of a number of different comedians wavering back and forth between sexy funny jokes and those that were simply in bad taste. Several people walked out, either in a planned display or perhaps simply bored with the proceedings, Andy really couldn't tell.
Finally, just as Andy was about the write the entire evening off as a complete bust, a small man walked out onstage and asked for a few volunteers for an experiment in hypnosis. Though Andy wanted to sit back and watch what happened here, a number of the people in the area surrounding him called over, goading him into volunteering. Figuring it might be interesting to give it a try he raised his hand.
Walking up to the stage Andy did notice that only men had been selected. Once up on the stage, the hypnotist's lovely assistant led the group offstage for some instructions. She then returned to the stage to get set up, leaving them alone for a few minutes until the hypnotist could come talk to them.
The group sat in silence for a few minutes until one of them asked Andy, "Hey, you gonna write up something on the show?"
"Well, it's not really sports, but I might put something together, give my viewpoint in an essay on the evening and see if the editor will run it."
Another man leaning on the wall in the shadows chimed in, "What an egotistical Blowhard this writer is. I'll bet this essay sucks worse than the shit this moron writes."
Andy immediately recognized the language here, sure in the newspaper they printed the censored version of letters to the editor, but Andy got to read the letters before they were censored and he recognized this man from them. He looked over to the man and said, "Harry, after all this time we finally get to meet."
Giving the absolute ignorance of most of this reader's comments, Andy always figured he was responding tongue in cheek, acting like a complete idiot simply to find some problem with anything Andy wrote. He stood up and moved over to the man, holding his hand out to shake. He wanted to meet the man able to so convincingly act like the complete moron he always accused Andy of being.
