BACKGROUND
I used to be one lazy SOB. A little overweight, not very motivated, and well, slovenly. All of that changed when one afternoon when I was plopped on the sofa and the TV remote quit working. If you knew me then, you would know how much this pissed me off. I got up and changed the batteries, but the damn thing still didn't work. So I took off the cover and started messing with the insides. (I am a plumber by trade, so I had no idea what the hell I was doing in there.)
Well I messed around with it for a few minutes, using some of my plumbing tools, then got pissed off and threw it. "Piece of shit!!" I yelled. I went over and picked it up and put the cover back on it. As I was stupidly pointing it at the TV and pushing the useless buttons, my girlfriend Kimberly walked in.
She was short, plump, and not all that pretty, but she usually put up with my shit, and didn't yell when we argued, so I kept her around. She said, "What are you bitching at now?"
"The goddamn remote is busted! Look!!" I pushed one of the buttons.
She got a faraway look in her eyes and said, "What do you want me to do?"
I was pissed. "Fuck you!" I said. "You can suck my dick, you bitch!"
No one was more shocked than I was when she walked over, pulled down my sweatpants and started sucking my cock.
Chapter 3 - Looking for a New House
The next morning we set off to start touring houses. Brenda drove, and we stopped at her house so she could change her clothes. I drank coffee in her kitchen while she dressed and got ready to go. I'm afraid we both looked a little rough after our night of fucking. As most women can, however, she fixed her face, and I must say, looked a hell of a lot better than me.
The first two houses did nothing for me. They were obviously owned by women living alone, and were way too girly. Sure they could have been undecorated and repainted, but I'm a lazy SOB, so that's not what I was looking for at all. Brenda was very apologetic about 'wasting my time' with them, but I wasn't upset. She just really wanted to please me.
The third house, however, looked awesome from the street. I had driven by it many times, and always noticed it. It was brick and stucco on the outside, and a 6-foot brick wall surrounded the property with a nice iron gate in the front. I found out from Brenda as we were touring it that Mayor Thompson owned it.
Thompson was a plump, bitter old lesbian, in my opinion. I'm sure she did a good job as mayor, because the people kept electing her, but every time I saw her picture in the paper she looked like she had just bitten a lemon. She had a considerable fortune, and more than one home. Brenda told me that she was selling this one so that she could spend more time at her lake home, in preparation for her retirement. Perfect!
The house was better than I expected. Not only did it have a gorgeously manicured yard, it had 5 bedrooms, a large recreation room, a 4-car garage, in-ground pool, and a wine cellar separated from the rest of the basement. I couldn't imagine a better place for me to live. Brenda was very excited showing it to me. I could see her nipples poking out through her conservative blouse.
We met the mayor for lunch and after a few minutes of pleasantries, I pushed the button on the remote, and both women said, "What do you want me to do?"
I told Brenda to ignore my conversation with the mayor, and to eat her lunch as she normally would. She would remember only that the negotiations went well.
I had lots more instructions and questions for Mayor Thompson. She was planning to retire at the end of her term, but I gave her instructions to step down from her post in one month, and to support me in the campaign as her successor. I decided that sitting on my ass in the mayor's office was a far better job than being a plumber. And I also realized that 3 of the 5 members of the city council were women, so with my trusty remote control, I could do basically whatever I wanted.
I told the mayor that she didn't need the money, so she would sell me her house for the same price I was selling mine for, and not think twice about it. If people asked, she met me when I was fixing her sprinkler system, and decided to do something nice for the community, since she was retiring and leaving, and that she loved the house and knew I would take good care of it.
I also left her with the suggestion that she should exercise more and watch her diet, and that anytime someone addressed her as "Mayor Thompson," she would become aroused and her nipples would get hard. I also left her with the suggestion that she really wanted to help me be mayor, so she would do everything she could.
I pushed STOP when I had finished her instructions. We finished our lunch, Brenda was very charming, and the mayor was very friendly. After we ate, I made the mayor a lowball offer on her house, she negotiated me up to the price I had told her, and then we struck a deal.
I said, "Thank you, Mayor Thompson," knowing it would arouse her. She smiled. We ended our meeting, and I sent Brenda to her office to work on the paperwork for my new house, and to get my old one sold.
I decided to knock around town for a little while before heading home. I spent a little time using the remote on random women and giving them suggestions to vote for me for Mayor in the next election. I grew bored with this, so I ducked into a local bar.
The bar was a nice enough place, if nothing fancy. There were a few businessmen in there having lunch and the place was fairly quiet. I was thirsty, so I sat down at the end of the bar and ordered beer. I chitchatted with the bartender as I drank, and had about finished my 2nd beer when a girl came in to ask for directions.